Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Sal's Dinner Scraps

I almost forgot my old thread here! Here it is.

I arted some junk there. Here's a Sal-Sertified-Starter Pack!

I'm happy I suggested it, because this is some really good stuff!

Don't give up on your old thread, lol. It was only a month old :<

But hey, if I stick around I'll make you stick to this one :P

What program did you use to make this stuffs?

I don't know what just happened. Only part of my post came up. Delete my failure please!

I'm happy I suggested it, because this is some really good stuff!

STOP MOCKING ME FORUM!!!!

Lol.

Anyway, I used Apophysis for the original fractal and GIMP for any further editing, such as text or white backgrounds.

See? The forums hate us all > >

It's the computer artsy stuff I don't get at all. Kudos to you. Shall there be an update of any sort?

Umm... I think this an update. I'm not sure on what you mean.

Anyway, here is the, er, "update."

Haiku 1
My marvelous steed
He is who helps do good deeds
He shall make me free

Haiku 2
Traverse the desert
Absorb the flames coming from
The great evil train

Haiku 3
Lost in wilderness
Soft mist penetrates my skin
Over hydrated

Haiku Cuatro
Tengo más hambre
Yo voy a morir pronto
Te termino hoy

Actually, haiku 4, as told in Spanish, would translate nearly to a perfect English haiku if not for the 2nd line, which only has 6 syllabus. My Spanish isn't amazing, so I don't think I could change it to make it work in both languages.

Haiku 5
Trapped under the
Blanket of water; Oh god!
Tell my wife I'm dead

Lol, haiku 5 was more of a joke than anything.

So, what do you think? Those were just some I could scrounge together.

I hate laptops. Apparently enter is a synonym with post on this thing. Please excuse any furter errors in spelling or general forum fails because this thing is truly a piece of garbage.

Haiku
Security's death
Bandana bearing evil
Malevolent thief

Nubby haiku
This is a haiku
This line is in the middle
This haiku is joke

Food haiku
I like Doritos
I really enjoy waffles
My favorite foods!

For some reason I'm just in a silly mood. Meant to be laughed at.

Destruction's abode
Flighty, transparent response
The cause of demise

Anyone out there?

Anyone out there?

Destruction's abode
Flighty, transparent response
The cause of demise

Let me try and translate Haiku Cuatro:

I have more hunger
I need to die quick
I end now

This one intrests me the most. It's almost like a riddle. Is there a title to it? I'd really like to figure out what it's about.

I have more hunger
I need to die quick
I end now

I've decided I'm done with haiku for a while.

Hours each day is spent
With a wrench in hand
Bored to a lesser extent
Only sometimes I understand

Creating my transportation
Time is my only limitation
Rocket ship in my warehouse
The moon is my future spouse

Fractals aren't bad and I'm sure you totally did all the numbery stuff yourself and didn't just manipulate a bunch of parameters in apo or whatever program you're using (what program is that, actually? It looks nice), amirite? :P anyway the fractals are nice, and I'd like to see some more of those. As far as the haikus go... the brevity of the haiku is supposed to be an advantage, not a disadvantage. You seem to have a basic understanding of how to use the format to create meaning and further impact the reader, but it ends up falling short and turning into ambiguity rather than poignance. As far as the most recent poem goes, it needs more punctuation. And by more, I mean any. Us readers have no idea how you want us to read your poem if it's like that--and when you're just using quatrains with end-stop line breaks, you want to guide us a little bit. The balance of the quatrain and the lack of interest in the line breaks themselves makes it pretty much impossible to get a truly disjointed feel out of omitting punctuation. I can't really comment on anything else about the poem now because I don't know how I'm supposed to read it, so I'll get back to you I guess