So...pick and Sal both have a thread on here...so I figure I might as well complete the trifecta by making a thread of my own.. So here I will dump any AMW related shi-er..stuff that I may have.
I start..with some crapping sketches(maybe childish drawings..?) I made while not paying attention during math (see pick..you aren't the only one)
Spider-esque robo thingy mobob
Robogolemn
Oh no's! His head be gone!
Anyways..so yeah. This thread is happening...maybe it goes somewhere super special and we all dance...maybe it doesn't, and we all dance anyways
(Also..will probably re-upload these sometime in the near future with better quality)
Ever-changing eyes holding mine in a bind Words wishing to portray, alas, I cannot find I sit, in wonderment, with only frivolous thoughts Hoping that mutuality is what lays across
My days linger on, with a continuous boasting And lost desire thoughts the mind was hosting For how could one horrid be with one so true? A mindset that flowed, through and through
But then came the day, when fate took control With phone in hand, my arm it did pull Then words I was not speaking poured from my tongue How can it be a leap of faith when I was joyfully flung?
An unthinkable step towards what was the unimaginable Now to text her is something tangible A heart fluttering whenever I see a message What was once unthinkable becomes a vestige
Then, that fateful day when my heart suddenly stopped And news I never would have thought true was dropped Mutual feelings existed, met with much surprise Instantaneously my happiness did rise
Time did pass, and anxiously we waited For the opportunity when true harmony could be created Finally the time I thought was impossible did come At last a hardened life has a joyous outcome
pang's miscellaneous stuff
A title a title, do they understand? A title a title, do they comprehend? A joke a joke, what I thought was obvious A joke a joke, to it are they oblivious?
The women, so supple, has their moment of time When likened to evil they suddenly become And for all these years while they exists in their prime They bark and snap into man's eardrum
3 simple letters give chills to any male For they know what terror it brings These letters, 1 title, do they prevail? At the top of each page, the childish joke clings
Alright..here it is...meh Magnum Opus. The response to To His Coy Mistress
To Her Potent Lover
Thy heavy words, which carry to me so true Have given me a perspective new. At once, I agree, we should seize the day, Then tighten our talons, and make it stay. We shall send the sun into Kong Ming's maze, Where even one brighter would find that ways Which seem a true path are no more Than further entrapment. But alas! Still there will soar That shining moon, ever so mocking. Though to get rid of there exists a way, be it so shocking. The moon, so confused, as one can most clearly see Has many faces, all wishing to truly be. Their ever long battle gives chaos to the ocean As same does time to love's devotion. For now they take turns to soften their fighting. So to harden it, send them unaddressed love writing, Why, my love, dost thou fear that winged chariot? Merely clip its wings, then pay no attention to it. Why dost thou shake at time's continuation? Stand firm, for love will cause it obliteration. For true love, time is a cruel illusion, Made to infect lovers' minds and cause confusion That love is not everlasting and will surely fleet, But our love will be the cause of Time's defeat. We shall take that trident from the mighty seafarer And with our love, against we shall show no terror. With this mighty tool giving the ocean's command We shall wash away Time's counting sand. Thy holder of such true and loving tongue I promise thee we shall keep this love young. The vegetable love will most surely grow To a beautiful garden, never be it low. At each passing moment to it we shall tend, And even during separation, its growth shall be a trend. A love so powerful, it would make any other look false, Merely just actions acted out impulse. A love so sweet, it makes Miracle Fruit seem sour. A love so strong, not even a tyrant has equal power. Those poems of old, with praising sentiments of their love Are merely extended ways to say "By Jove". Our love, which can't be denied truest of them all Contains so much strength, it could make Zeus fall. But now, thou has an odd look upon thy face, I inquire thou to answer: be this true love, or be it base?
Love the poems. To Her Potent Lover was very nice, and a great reaction to To His Coy Mistress. I remember reading that one in high school, and I think I remember something about reactions to it, but I don't recall making poems for reactions to it, so kudos for that. Very well done. Critically speaking though, and in no way should I expect perfect poems, I just felt that poem had some problems with its feet. Of course, that might be being overly critical, but it's always something to think about. To be more specific, there were certain couplets that in comparing the two lines themselves, sometimes had a different foot count, as well being compared to the poem in its entirety, had a different foot count. Again, that's maybe overanalyzing, but I'm tired, so whatevz :P Other than that depth of analysis, the content itself was wonderful. I especially loved the last couplet, which should give that man a reason to worry :P
As for the other two poems, I think since they were shorter, there was less a structural issue with feet, and possible meter, not sure exactly where you were going with those, but I had an idea. Just critiquing solely on content, I loved those as well. You should definitely do more poetry, and if you haven't already considered it, enter the poetry contest. Oh also, I think the love poem is my favorite, simply because I'm a romantic, and always will be.
As for the doodles, very nice. I liked the robogolemn especially. It just looked cool to me. Can't wait to see the better quality ones (if you still plan on reuploading them) to see them in better quality. Also, I hope you put up more drawings, because seeing things is fun.
@dragonball - I don't think you are over-analyzing at all. I recently have just gotten into keeping track of foot count..so it is something I definitely try to keep track of now. With To Her Potent Lover..I was just going with a Free Verse for my meters (also...I had written like half+ of it in about ~40 min in a class before my English Lit class)
Also..yes, the doodles will be uploaded with a much clearer picture when I get the chance
For now..another poem. My submission for the General Poetry contest (I'll grab my haiku entry in a bit)
They shout, with their giant voices booming. I shrink, fearing the dark light looming. They hush, with calm tales of unconditional love. I grow, with curious thoughts to speak of.
Their truth they cling on to, ready to defend, But to my truth, jabbing questions they do send! My anger burning, could their persistence bend? Or must I stay tormented til days end?
Upon a lone moment of seclusion, I begin to ponder their delusion. But lo! Sudden insight lets my inner eye see The judgement I too threw maliciously
I resolve, with immediate resolute To find agreement within this wicked dispute. For alas, neither party can truly refute The truths which would result the others mute
The mold crept along Standing ground for times, destroyed He finds fault within
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Also..I am still working on the poem that I mentioned on my last post on here.
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I am still open to suggestions for what anyone would like a poem/piece of writing about. Just give me the subject you'd like and any specific style you'd like it in. Though..I shan't be doing anymore love poems, in regards to my life, until quite some time from now. If you'd like a love poem, just give me background info to base it off of