pang's miscellaneous stuff II - Armor Games Community

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pangtongshu

9,808 posts

Jester

Posted July 2, '13 10:10pm UTC

Bringing some works I somewhat like over

-----

Porcelain Demons

Porcelain dolls, they sit and they stare
an inching movement, how can one prepare?
Desperation lies upon one held by fear
Heavy words towards one whom shan't hear
The piercing scream, delight of the sadist
One more soul he adds upon his list
His demonic possession, kept secret
Until one more life becomes cheated
If you knew what hid, to own you would not dare
Porcelain dolls, they sit and they stare

-----

(A response poem to "To His Coy Mistress)
To Her Potent Lover

Thy heavy words, which carry to me so true
Have given me a perspective new.
At once, I agree, we should seize the day,
Then tighten our talons, and make it stay.
We shall send the sun into Kong Ming's maze,
Where even one brighter would find that ways
Which seem a true path are no more
Than further entrapment. But alas! Still there will soar
That shining moon, ever so mocking.
Though to get rid of there exists a way, be it so shocking.
The moon, so confused, as one can most clearly see
Has many faces, all wishing to truly be.
Their ever long battle gives chaos to the ocean
As same does time to love's devotion.
For now they take turns to soften their fighting.
So to harden it, send them unaddressed love writing,
Why, my love, dost thou fear that winged chariot?
Merely clip its wings, then pay no attention to it.
Why dost thou shake at time's continuation?
Stand firm, for love will cause it obliteration.
For true love, time is a cruel illusion,
Made to infect lovers' minds and cause confusion
That love is not everlasting and will surely fleet,
But our love will be the cause of Time's defeat.
We shall take that trident from the mighty seafarer
And with our love, against we shall show no terror.
With this mighty tool giving the ocean's command
We shall wash away Time's counting sand.
Thy holder of such true and loving tongue
I promise thee we shall keep this love young.
The vegetable love will most surely grow
To a beautiful garden, never be it low.
At each passing moment to it we shall tend,
And even during separation, its growth shall be a trend.
A love so powerful, it would make any other look false,
Merely just actions acted out impulse.
A love so sweet, it makes Miracle Fruit seem sour.
A love so strong, not even a tyrant has equal power.
Those poems of old, with praising sentiments of their love
Are merely extended ways to say "By Jove".
Our love, which can't be denied truest of them all
Contains so much strength, it could make Zeus fall.
But now, thou has an odd look upon thy face,
I inquire thou to answer: be this true love, or be it base?

(I plan on fixing up some parts possibly..sometime in a near-distant future)

-----

Touch of Truth

Objectifying with bleak desperation,
Their cursÃ©d words of piercing temptations
Full of barked claims of perceived divination
That announces my impeding damnation

They shout, with their giant voices booming.
I shrink, fearing the dark light looming.
They hush, with calm tales of unconditional love.
I grow, with curious thoughts to speak of.

Their truth they cling on to, ready to defend,
But to my truth, jabbing questions they do send!
My anger burning, could their persistence bend?
Or must I stay tormented til days end?

Upon a lone moment of seclusion,
I begin to ponder their delusion.
But lo! Sudden insight lets my inner eye see
The judgement I too threw maliciously

I resolve, with immediate resolute
To find agreement within this wicked dispute.
For alas, neither party can truly refute
The truths which would result the others mute

-----

And now taking some from Poetry/Haiku contests

-----

Broken Bond

Brightened smiles meet
Euphoric friendship elates
Death, the cruel jokester..

-----

[/b]Mamihlapinatapai

LongÃ¨d hopelessness...
Dare I construct confidence?
For what if I'm wrong?

-----

[b]War of Love and Death

Love succeeds once more
The Lovers, perish'd, unite
Death conquers once more

-----

War of Love and Death

The darkness slowly crept along with swift haste,
It's brighten'd smile shadowing the land
And covering the ground in which I stand,
Whilst unveiling the enemies I face.

On either side, the other side: a smile.
A greeting from such a long farewell,
But there exists an obstacle of a hellish trial
For such conquest I aim to quell.

The thunderous applause crack'd across the sky
As the cloudless night drew an eerie silence.
Their gazes grazing over me; silent.
Tonight shall be the lovers' final goodbye.

I feel their stares, trying to pierce through,
As if it'd be any help for them.
I stand, intrepid, waiting to condemn,
but with a sudden movement the chaos grew.

The lover to my left darted violently,
While the other graced along carefully.
He must have thought she did so beautifully,
But not so much as my blade passed through silently.

Her body hit the ground ever so peacefully,
Ever so gracefully, with never more a breath.
And when I kissed her cheeks, covered with death,
His rage exploded, and he charged forcefully.

Never shall you know the look of true intent,
The look of a man with no more left to lose.
The look of a man whose inner being has been let loose.
The look of a man as, from his body, his head is sent.

His body crumpled to the ground
As I took in the silence of the area.
But again broke out mass hysteria,
As she came down with a most impressive sound.

Love, or so you all call her,
Spoke to me with a voice truly serene.
"You may have taken their lives clean,
But more are out there, and you they abhor."

Then, at once, she was gone as she came.
A tyrannical one, she really is,
Vying to rule all with the ruse of loving bliss.
So, in order to halt her, I became.

I am viewed the villain, until one's final breath.
Such is the price to pay for being Death.

(made an alteration)

-----

Restoration

Long forgotten youth
He finds, preserved in photos
Nostalgic tears fall

-----

Naughty or Nice

Blood dries on his knife
We curse, despite our hunger
As he hands us bread

-----

Paradise of Ice

So call'd paradise!
A white demon's tyranny
Traps hope down, frozen

-----

The Thanksgiving Spirit

BowÃ©d heads, silent
A faux pray, he keeps the peace
Thoughts of the tortur'd

-----

Uprising

The mask'd covering
Only what's needed is known
But for truth, they seek

-----

Don't Fear the Reaper

Existence beloved
Fearful for the absolute
A darkness of peace

-----

Silence

Blacken'd hearts watching
Slowly lower'd with hushed sound
Grievance shows no peace

Bringing some works I somewhat like over\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Porcelain Demons[/b]\r\n\r\nPorcelain dolls, they sit and they stare\r\nan inching movement, how can one prepare?\r\nDesperation lies upon one held by fear\r\nHeavy words towards one whom shan't hear\r\nThe piercing scream, delight of the sadist\r\nOne more soul he adds upon his list\r\nHis demonic possession, kept secret\r\nUntil one more life becomes cheated\r\nIf you knew what hid, to own you would not dare\r\nPorcelain dolls, they sit and they stare\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n(A response poem to "[i]To His Coy Mistress[/i])\r\n[b]To Her Potent Lover[/b] \r\n\r\n     Thy heavy words, which carry to me so true\r\nHave given me a perspective new.\r\nAt once, I agree, we should seize the day,\r\nThen tighten our talons, and make it stay.\r\nWe shall send the sun into Kong Ming's maze,\r\nWhere even one brighter would find that ways\r\nWhich seem a true path are no more\r\nThan further entrapment. But alas! Still there will soar\r\nThat shining moon, ever so mocking.\r\nThough to get rid of there exists a way, be it so shocking.\r\nThe moon, so confused, as one can most clearly see\r\nHas many faces, all wishing to truly be.\r\nTheir ever long battle gives chaos to the ocean\r\nAs same does time to love's devotion.\r\nFor now they take turns to soften their fighting.\r\nSo to harden it, send them unaddressed love writing,\r\n     Why, my love, dost thou fear that winged chariot?\r\nMerely clip its wings, then pay no attention to it.\r\nWhy dost thou shake at time's continuation?\r\nStand firm, for love will cause it obliteration.\r\nFor true love, time is a cruel illusion,\r\nMade to infect lovers' minds and cause confusion\r\nThat love is not everlasting and will surely fleet,\r\nBut our love will be the cause of Time's defeat.\r\nWe shall take that trident from the mighty seafarer\r\nAnd with our love, against we shall show no terror.\r\nWith this mighty tool giving the ocean's command\r\nWe shall wash away Time's counting sand.\r\nThy holder of such true and loving tongue\r\nI promise thee we shall keep this love young.\r\n     The vegetable love will most surely grow\r\nTo a beautiful garden, never be it low.\r\nAt each passing moment to it we shall tend,\r\nAnd even during separation, its growth shall be a trend.\r\nA love so powerful, it would make any other look false,\r\nMerely just actions acted out impulse.\r\nA love so sweet, it makes Miracle Fruit seem sour.\r\nA love so strong, not even a tyrant has equal power.\r\nThose poems of old, with praising sentiments of their love\r\nAre merely extended ways to say "By Jove".\r\nOur love, which can't be denied truest of them all\r\nContains so much strength, it could make Zeus fall.\r\nBut now, thou has an odd look upon thy face,\r\nI inquire thou to answer: be this true love, or be it base?\r\n\r\n(I plan on fixing up some parts possibly..sometime in a near-distant future)\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Touch of Truth[/b]\r\n\r\nObjectifying with bleak desperation,\r\nTheir cursÃ©d words of piercing temptations\r\nFull of barked claims of perceived divination\r\nThat announces my impeding d[i]a[/i]mnation\r\n\r\nThey shout, with their giant voices booming.\r\nI shrink, fearing the dark light looming.\r\nThey hush, with calm tales of unconditional love.\r\nI grow, with curious thoughts to speak of.\r\n\r\nTheir truth they cling on to, ready to defend,\r\nBut to my truth, jabbing questions they do send!\r\nMy anger burning, could their persistence bend?\r\nOr must I stay tormented til days end?\r\n\r\nUpon a lone moment of seclusion,\r\nI begin to ponder their delusion.\r\nBut lo! Sudden insight lets my inner eye see\r\nThe judgement I too threw maliciously\r\n\r\nI resolve, with immediate resolute\r\nTo find agreement within this wicked dispute.\r\nFor alas, neither party can truly refute\r\nThe truths which would result the others mute\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\nAnd now taking some from Poetry/Haiku contests\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Broken Bond[/b]\r\n\r\nBrightened smiles meet\r\nEuphoric friendship elates\r\nDeath, the cruel jokester..\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[/b]Mamihlapinatapai[b]\r\n\r\nLongÃ¨d hopelessness...\r\nDare I construct confidence?\r\nFor what if I'm wrong?\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]War of Love and Death[/b]\r\n\r\nLove succeeds once more\r\nThe Lovers, perish'd, unite\r\nDeath conquers once more\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]War of Love and Death[/b]\r\n\r\nThe darkness slowly crept along with swift haste,\r\nIt's brighten'd smile shadowing the land\r\nAnd covering the ground in which I stand,\r\nWhilst unveiling the enemies I face.\r\n\r\nOn either side, the other side: a smile.\r\nA greeting from such a long farewell,\r\nBut there exists an obstacle of a hellish trial\r\nFor such conquest I aim to quell.\r\n\r\nThe thunderous applause crack'd across the sky\r\nAs the cloudless night drew an eerie silence.\r\nTheir gazes grazing over me; silent.\r\nTonight shall be the lovers' final goodbye.\r\n\r\nI feel their stares, trying to pierce through,\r\nAs if it'd be any help for them.\r\nI stand, intrepid, waiting to condemn,\r\nbut with a sudden movement the chaos grew.\r\n\r\nThe lover to my left darted violently,\r\nWhile the other graced along carefully.\r\nHe must have thought she did so beautifully,\r\nBut not so much as my blade passed through silently.\r\n\r\nHer body hit the ground ever so peacefully,\r\nEver so gracefully, with never more a breath.\r\nAnd when I kissed her cheeks, covered with death,\r\nHis rage exploded, and he charged forcefully.\r\n\r\nNever shall you know the look of true intent,\r\nThe look of a man with no more left to lose.\r\nThe look of a man whose inner being has been let loose.\r\nThe look of a man as, from his body, his head is sent.\r\n\r\nHis body crumpled to the ground\r\nAs I took in the silence of the area.\r\nBut again broke out mass hysteria,\r\nAs she came down with a most impressive sound.\r\n\r\nLove, or so you all call her,\r\nSpoke to me with a voice truly serene.\r\n"You may have taken their lives clean,\r\nBut more are out there, and you they abhor."\r\n\r\nThen, at once, she was gone as she came.\r\nA tyrannical one, she really is,\r\nVying to rule all with the ruse of loving bliss.\r\nSo, in order to halt her, I became.\r\n\r\nI am viewed the villain, until one's final breath.\r\nSuch is the price to pay for being Death.\r\n\r\n(made an alteration)\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Restoration[/b]\r\n\r\nLong forgotten youth\r\nHe finds, preserved in photos\r\nNostalgic tears fall\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Naughty or Nice[/b]\r\n\r\nBlood dries on his knife\r\nWe curse, despite our hunger\r\nAs he hands us bread\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Paradise of Ice[/b]\r\n\r\nSo call'd paradise!\r\nA white demon's tyranny\r\nTraps hope down, frozen\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]The Thanksgiving Spirit[/b]\r\n\r\nBowÃ©d heads, silent\r\nA faux pray, he keeps the peace\r\nThoughts of the tortur'd\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Uprising[/b]\r\n\r\nThe mask'd covering\r\nOnly what's needed is known\r\nBut for truth, they seek\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Don't Fear the Reaper[/b]\r\n\r\nExistence beloved\r\nFearful for the absolute\r\nA darkness of peace\r\n\r\n-----\r\n\r\n[b]Silence[/b]\r\n\r\nBlacken'd hearts watching\r\nSlowly lower'd with hushed sound\r\nGrievance shows no peace

offline

Salvidian

4,170 posts

Farmer

Posted July 3, '13 8:02pm UTC

Well you have a nice start on an archive, albeit with some formatting errors. Can we expect any new material?

offline

MoonFairy

3,386 posts

Shepherd

Posted July 3, '13 8:21pm UTC

Moon and her yin-yang

That's adorable. I wish I had the yin-yang thing down lol. My thing is more of a semi-set rhyme pattern and emotions~ But I like the idea of yin-yang. (thus my poetry contest thing lol)

TIME TO DO SOME REAL DEAL CRITIQUING

I like Porcelain dolls but I feel like you forced the set a bit... I'm not a huge fan of shan't and words that are cut off and fancy words and all that. Plain is my thing and sometimes it's a better thing. While it gives that creepy vibe, if you used the same sort of style for it to relay the moments when he's killing the person then it could be even creepier~

I'm skipping the second one. For now at least. I might try to do like 2 or three per post, but on to the next one~

I really like Touch of Truth. I can relate. The last stanza isn't as great as the rest of it, but that may be because I'm not thinking your thoughts as I read it and I don't know what conclusion you came to. So maybe try to describe it a bit more, but ti's still good.

I'm not one for Haikus because they are just too tiny for me to do anything with. But Broken Bond rang loud and clear. Good job on that one.

The mami whatever one is good too but again Haikus just aren't my area.

The love and death one. Read above sentence.

I'm sorry that these are so short and stuff but I'm supposed to be getting ready for work, whoops.

I'll do the others soon, okay? Post some new stuff!

[quote] Moon and her yin-yang[/quote]\r\nThat's adorable. I wish I had the yin-yang thing down lol. My thing is more of a semi-set rhyme pattern and emotions~ But I like the idea of yin-yang. (thus my poetry contest thing lol)\r\n\r\nTIME TO DO SOME REAL DEAL CRITIQUING \r\n\r\nI like Porcelain dolls but I feel like you forced the set a bit... I'm not a huge fan of shan't and words that are cut off and fancy words and all that. Plain is my thing and sometimes it's a better thing. While it gives that creepy vibe, if you used the same sort of style for it to relay the moments when he's killing the person then it could be even creepier~\r\n\r\nI'm skipping the second one. For now at least. I might try to do like 2 or three per post, but on to the next one~\r\n\r\nI really like Touch of Truth. I can relate. The last stanza isn't as great as the rest of it, but that may be because I'm not thinking your thoughts as I read it and I don't know what conclusion you came to. So maybe try to describe it a bit more, but ti's still good.\r\n\r\nI'm not one for Haikus because they are just too tiny for me to do anything with. But Broken Bond rang loud and clear. Good job on that one.\r\n\r\nThe mami whatever one is good too but again Haikus just aren't my area. \r\n\r\nThe love and death one. Read above sentence. \r\n\r\nI'm sorry that these are so short and stuff but I'm supposed to be getting ready for work, whoops. \r\n\r\nI'll do the others soon, okay? :D Post some new stuff! :D

offline

pangtongshu

9,808 posts

Jester

Posted July 3, '13 9:58pm UTC

Can we expect any new material?

Indeed. In fact..for the past month I've been working off and on with a poem..even received some help from my Senior English Teacher with ideas. So I should hopefully have that done sometime in the near future..just need to edit some stuff and finish it up.

I like Porcelain dolls but I feel like you forced the set a bit

That's probably because I wrote it in like 10 minutes XD

I'm not a huge fan of shan't and words that are cut off and fancy words and all that.

I tend to be =p

Also..for future reference..I never have a word end in -ed (at least, I try not to. If I do, let me know so I can fix it). I either take out the e and place ' in place of it, or add an accent mark above the e. Just a little shtick/quirk of mine..it also allows to have free reign of controlling syllable count with more ease.

if you used the same sort of style for it to relay the moments when he's killing the person then it could be even creepier~

Well..I definitely wouldn't be against making such a poem..if you'd be interested..just let me know.

I'm skipping the second one. For now at least. I might try to do like 2 or three per post, but on to the next one~

Alrighty.
And keep in mind..I plan on doing some editing for it..shortening some lines or lengthening others.

The last stanza isn't as great as the rest of it, but that may be because I'm not thinking your thoughts as I read it and I don't know what conclusion you came to. So maybe try to describe it a bit more, but ti's still good.

The ending is the speaker coming to the resolution to just, basically, let it be..as he finds his "truth" to be the true "truth"..but everyone's "truth" to them is their real "truth".

More or less just a statement against how different beliefs assert themselves as the true one that should be followed..blah blah

I'm sorry that these are so short and stuff but I'm supposed to be getting ready for work, whoops.

You're fine =p Glad to get some Moon critiquing

[quote]Can we expect any new material?[/quote]\r\n\r\nIndeed. In fact..for the past month I've been working off and on with a poem..even received some help from my Senior English Teacher with ideas. So I should hopefully have that done sometime in the near future..just need to edit some stuff and finish it up.\r\n\r\n[quote]I like Porcelain dolls but I feel like you forced the set a bit[/quote]\r\n\r\nThat's probably because I wrote it in like 10 minutes XD\r\n\r\n[quote]I'm not a huge fan of shan't and words that are cut off and fancy words and all that.[/quote]\r\n\r\nI tend to be =p\r\n\r\nAlso..for future reference..I never have a word end in -ed (at least, I try not to. If I do, let me know so I can fix it). I either take out the e and place ' in place of it, or add an accent mark above the e. Just a little shtick/quirk of mine..it also allows to have free reign of controlling syllable count with more ease.\r\n\r\n[quote]if you used the same sort of style for it to relay the moments when he's killing the person then it could be even creepier~[/quote]\r\n\r\nWell..I definitely wouldn't be against making such a poem..if you'd be interested..just let me know.\r\n\r\n[quote]I'm skipping the second one. For now at least. I might try to do like 2 or three per post, but on to the next one~[/quote]\r\n\r\nAlrighty.\r\nAnd keep in mind..I plan on doing some editing for it..shortening some lines or lengthening others.\r\n\r\n[quote]The last stanza isn't as great as the rest of it, but that may be because I'm not thinking your thoughts as I read it and I don't know what conclusion you came to. So maybe try to describe it a bit more, but ti's still good.[/quote]\r\n\r\nThe ending is the speaker coming to the resolution to just, basically, let it be..as he finds his "truth" to be the true "truth"..but everyone's "truth" to them is their real "truth".\r\n\r\nMore or less just a statement against how different beliefs assert themselves as the true one that should be followed..blah blah\r\n\r\n[quote]I'm sorry that these are so short and stuff but I'm supposed to be getting ready for work, whoops.[/quote]\r\n\r\nYou're fine =p Glad to get some Moon critiquing

offline

R2D21999

18,319 posts

Treasurer

Posted July 3, '13 10:12pm UTC

I want to comment but it feels as if I already did in your last AMW thread.

So keep up the good work.

offline

MoonFairy

3,386 posts

Shepherd

Posted July 3, '13 11:30pm UTC

Like I said, the emotional parts are my thing. Maybe try to make the realization of his own self the high point of the poem. The climatic and questioning part of it. And end it with more... oomph. More finality

offline

pangtongshu

9,808 posts

Jester

Posted July 4, '13 2:00am UTC

Maybe try to make the realization of his own self the high point of the poem. The climatic and questioning part of it. And end it with more... oomph. More finality

Which one..the Dolly one?

offline

pangtongshu

9,808 posts

Jester

Posted July 6, '13 12:39pm UTC

Lucy stood in front of her mirror, staring at herself as she tried on different smiles, looking for one that would make her look beautiful. That was just one thing she really wanted, to be beautiful. Everyone always told her how pretty and beautiful she was, but she just couldn't find herself to believe them. How could she? If she really was beautiful, her reflection would actually smile back for once.

offline

R2D21999

18,319 posts

Treasurer

Posted July 6, '13 9:43pm UTC

Great story? Poem? I don't know what its called. But its great anyways.

offline

pangtongshu

9,808 posts

Jester

Posted July 6, '13 9:54pm UTC

Great story? Poem?

R2..in what way would that be a poem? -_-

I'm thinking of writing another one tonight..so stay tuned

offline

R2D21999

18,319 posts

Treasurer

Posted July 6, '13 9:58pm UTC

R2..in what way would that be a poem? -_-

I don't know. I'm not a poetry professional.

offline

pangtongshu

9,808 posts

Jester

Posted July 6, '13 11:14pm UTC

This is the type of world I live in, and...sadly...I can't escape it. This is a fact that I'm painfully aware of, yet partially grateful for. As the darkness charges forward, ready to consume all in its path, I see many others try to flee it or cower in fear...but not I. Why the hell should I? What good will that do? It'll only prolong the inevitable, and could even drag the torment on for longer than necessary. No, I'm far more foolish than those people...I stand myself up, clench my fists, and walk straight on into that darkness. I allow that accursed shadow to consume me, allow it to strike me tenfold, allow it to break itself into the innermost depths of my fleeting soul...so that I may hold on to the last scrap of it that remains.

offline

dav123

105 posts

Jester

Posted July 6, '13 11:40pm UTC

wow nice work!

offline

Salvidian

4,170 posts

Farmer

Posted July 7, '13 7:35am UTC

Lucy stood in front of her mirror, staring at herself as she tried on different smiles, looking for one that would make her look beautiful. That was just one thing she really wanted, to be beautiful. Everyone always told her how pretty and beautiful she was, but she just couldn't find herself to believe them. How could she? If she really was beautiful, her reflection would actually smile back for once.

The Lucy persona is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting: people with this of personality (or rather, lack of) seem to pull themselves into a pit of self-confusion. She's the girl you want to help, but she doesn't tell you anything. She's the Speak girl. Your portrait of this character is done simply and directly, which is something that should happen. I think it's a cliched character, but it's an interesting to portray; and you've done that nicely.

offline

pangtongshu

9,808 posts

Jester

Posted July 7, '13 10:01am UTC

So I was wanting to write another little short blurb or whatever, but I just can't pull myself together to do so. I've been sitting here, motionless, just staring at my computer trying to muster myself together, but my mind keeps fleeing from the task. I keep thinking back to whenever my mom called for my dog from within the kitchen an hour ago, and I heard my dog yelp; I haven't heard from my dog since.

On top of that...my mom's been dead for 3 weeks now.

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