ForumsArt, Music, and WritingIs this any good??

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hylian
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hylian
125 posts
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The last one kept messing up so I hope this one works.


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There is a contest on a website I go to asking people to submit a short story. I usually suck at writing stories but I had started on one just for fun but now I am thinking the story is sucking and I feel like not even finishing it. I was wondering if you all could read it and let me know if I should even bother to finish the story or not.

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To whoever finds this, my name is Thomas Marx and I felt I must share the following incident that happened to me while they are still fresh in my mind. I dont expect you to believe it (heck I barely believe it myself and I was there) but I would like someone to know what happened. It all started back two, no three, no well to tell the truth I dont recall how long ago it all started. The events, they all seem to have happened in the blink of an eye and yet at the same time they seemed to last a dozen lifetimes. But the time doesnt matter what does matter is the events themselves.


At the time the events happened I felt great. I had just graduated from high school and I felt like I owned the world. My parents had given me a car for a graduation gift so I had decided to spend the summer just driving around the country. I had originally planned to have my best buds join me. But sadly they all couldnt make it for one reason or another. Chad had gotten a job for the summer to help pay some bills. Jason had broken his leg and he wanted to stay home and relax. Even my best bud Richard had fallen through at the last moment. I had thought if any of my friends would be all for it he would. You see me and Richard had been best friends since before I can remember. We were only a week apart in age and our parents were good friends so we always got to hang out together. So you could imagine my surprise and disappointment when he called and told me that he was heading out of town to see his family.


I was half ready at that point to blow the whole trip off. But I had what I thought at the time was a brilliant idea. I decided I would head out and drive around by myself for a few weeks and than I would drive up to where Richard was meeting his family and pick him up. I figured we could make the most out of the return trip. So I decided to call Richard and see if e was up for it. Sure enough he thought it was a great idea. So for the next few days I started preparing for my trip. After what at the time seemed like an eternity (even though it had actually only been three days) I was read to go. I was so excited for the trip I could hardly contain myself. Of course if I knew what was to come out of this trip at the time I would have never gone. I still wish to this day that I could stop myself from going. But I guess their isn't any point in wishing you could change the past. The night before I was supposed to leave I had the weirdest dream. I awoke in a cold sweat with my heart pounding, it took a few minutes for me to regain my composure and realize I was in my own bed. When I tried to think back on the dream I couldn't place what the dream had been about it all faded away before I could recall a thing about it. At the time I didn't think anything of it, I just figured it had been nothing more than the pepperoni pizza and pickled eggs I had for dinner. Of course thinking back on it now I can't help but wonder if it was a omen or something of what was to come. I was still startled enough by the incident I knew that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep right away. So I did what I always did when I couldn't sleep. I turned on the TV and turned it to the History Channel after an hour or so I started to doze out and before I knew it I was waking up to the sun in my eyes.


I jumped up and checked the clock at to my dismay it was already 10:30 a.m. I had wanted to be on the road hours ago. Luckily I had packed the car the night before and it was all ready to go. So I hopped in and drove off to start what I thought at the time would be the time of my life. Of course it turned out to be just that, just not in the way I was hoping. I drove those first few hours cursing myself. I had planned on using my MP3 player for a source of music on the trip but in my hurry to leave I had forgotten to bring it. I tried several times to get any radio stations in but sadly all I got was a bunch of garbled static. I was relieved when my stomach started to growl cause that meant it was time for lunch and with it a change of scenery. I pulled off the first exit I saw and looked for a decent place to eat. Sadly I had chosen probably the worst town I could have. There was only one place for food and I swear I could feel the grease in the air as I walked in. I was about to turn around but I figured I would go ahead and grab something to eat. It beat the box of crackers I had in the car I figured. So I went in and ordered a cheeseburger and some fries. The food wasn't the greatest but it was still edible. So I finished up lunch and headed outside, the sun was beating down hard. I pulled my hat down to try and block the sun and started to slowly walk to my car. When I got there I started the car and started to drive away I only got a few feet before I hear a popping sound and I realized my tire was blown. I pulled off and put a spare on it and left I figured I would get a new tire in the next town.

  • 5 Replies
hylian
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hylian
125 posts
Nomad

well guessing by the lack of response I am guessing it sucks. I don't think I will bother finishing it for the contest.

CubanFrog
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CubanFrog
480 posts
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No, it's good... It just ends to weird position..

hylian
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hylian
125 posts
Nomad

I haven't finished it yet this was just the part I had written.

CubanFrog
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CubanFrog
480 posts
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Ok... But where it ends, it leaves a empty spot... It doesn't exite the reader much, it just annoys..

imcrazy
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imcrazy
17 posts
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i mean its okay it doesnt suck

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