Tis but the start. Tis but the beginning. Wherein the cruel fiend Will rise up And snatch away all That we hold dear. Aye tis he who will come And in blood and thunder run Until the moon falls Upon the earth And all is rent anew. Tis but the start.
Tis but the start. Tis but the beginning Wherein the sun shall rise Upon the grey line That is the horizon. And so shall it shine Across a barren landscape Where the dust grows heavy And the green bare. Save for a small shoot A wee thing. That shall grow And give plenty. Tis but the start.
Tis but the start. Tis but the beginning Where in all shall end. And what was will no longer be And what is shall cease To be what will be. And so when the night falls And the crows cry The blood will run dry. For the people will not die. Though the world end. A dead thing. Here is the wasteland That is we. That is we. That is we. Tis but the start.
I liked the first and the 2nd paragraph because they had some substance to it. But then the 3rd paragraph felt tasteless and not good whatsoever. At least to me.
"emo" or "goth" are considered the lowest forms of poetry.
In the 2nd paragraph I envisioned a desolate wasteland, yet there was a green tree somehow survived. Very poetic and a good image.
the 3rd was just stereotpyical crows crying and crap that doesn't have any substance to it other than saying boo hoo lookit the depressing imagery boo hoo. It wasn't entertaining and all it did was annoy me because the 2nd paragraph showed that you could easily make a good poem out of this.
I would have recommended saying in the 3rd paragraph about how the "Small shoot" seems to overcome this desolate wasteland. Rather than going boo hoo lookit this crap boo hoo.
You didn't ask for constructive crticism, and I did not feel that I should give you any. I simply gave you my thoughts on the matter.
"emo" or "goth" are considered the lowest forms of poetry.
Wrong. Amid their own stereotypes, their poetry is found to be alot higher that the "hippie" and "Rainbow" kinds. It is all a matter of which 'group' you're in.
Wrong. Amid their own stereotypes, their poetry is found to be alot higher that the "hippie" and "Rainbow" kinds. It is all a matter of which 'group' you're in.
That could be true, but if the substance has nothing that is actually poetic or symbolic to it I consider it a lesser form of art.
"emo" or "goth" are considered the lowest forms of poetry.
I would have thought toilet ditties were lower. Along with acrostics that make no sense and really badly written slam poetry. Perhaps you meant "common"?
but if the substance has nothing that is actually poetic or symbolic to it
"emo" or "goth" are considered the lowest forms of poetry.
The one of the greatest poets in the 20th Century may be considered an "emo". I speak of, of course, my inspiration for most of my work: T.S Eliot. I recomend reading The Hollow Men, The Wasteland and, The Love Song of J. Alfred Proofrock. All which may be considered "emo", yet are considered genius in the literary world.
I would have recommended saying in the 3rd paragraph about how the "Small shoot" seems to overcome this desolate wasteland. Rather than going boo hoo lookit this crap boo hoo.
I'm not one for bluntness. The third stanza is to show the world starting over, without man to interfere. I hide a lot of good meaning in the more depressing parts of my work, simply because I want the reader to READ, and try to understand what I'm getting at. However, I appreciate your critique I find those who dislike my work the most helpful.
