WARNING: THIS INCLUDES EXTREME AWESOMENESS KNOWN AS "METAL". THIS IS ALSO SELF-AWARE. SO BEWARE. (see what I did there?)
A young man was sitting in the park one day, high as hell, looking at swans. The man was giggling violently, thinking that the swans were farting every six seconds. He was so high, that he forgot exactly WHAT he was high on. So he sat there, and pulled out a bag of crackers that were so old, that they weren't crunchy any more. In short: This guy was high. Like, really, really high. I want to let you know this. So finally he decided he should sober up a little and head back home. He was still high, but it didn't matter too much. So finally he arrived at his house. It was a sunny afternoon, about 5 PM. He flipped the switch to his living room/bedroom. It took him a while to actually realize it, but it was in total dissarray! His drugs were everywhere, his bedspread was on the floor in a bunch, and there was a hooded figure in the corner. He stood there a little bit longer, trying to understand what was going on for a few more minutes. After a full 6 minutes of thought and stand-still undetection, he yelled at the hooded figure, "HEY WAIT WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!". The hooded figure let out a squealch of terror and tripped over it's robe. Getting up in just an instant, he pointed a bony gray finger at the man. "Isaac Lintroti, I HAVE COME FOR THEE!" The figure yelled, using some unmentioned device to make it's voice echo. Taking another 7 minutes to figure out what it meant, Isaac said, "What?" The figure let it's head sink down to it's shoulders, and slapped Isaac across the face. It then dragged him by the back of his shirt. Isaac looked up and noticed something about the figure he probably should have earlier. "Holy sh*t, YOU HAVE BOOBS!"
