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I befriend chuck norris and ask him to kill whoever is on the hill right now and to guard it.
This hill is CHUCK NORRIS APPROVED!!!

Chuck Norris realizes he dosen't need you, so he kills you. He also realizes he dosen't want the hill. He leaves. I walk up the hill.

MY HILL!!!

I pick you up and throw you down into a convenient pit.

My Hill

luckily, a single beard hair from Chuck Norris falls on the ground. I pick it up and turn invincible and I push Kylelolcat into the convenient pit.

My Hill!

I get Bruce Lee to come and destroy that single hair because Bruce is the only one that can do it!

MY HILL!

I walk up the hill and freeze you with mah freeze ray.

MY HILL PLEASE!

I become the human torch and burn you to ashes!

My Hill!

I get Mario's FLUDD and douse you. You turn into an ash pile.

My Hill

Luckily that convenient pit was only 8" deep.

I sparta-kick you off the hill.

MY HILL!!!

Since you used the same trick at the cookie world, I see the kick coming, grab your foot and throw you into a much bigger convenient pit.

My Hill!

I simply smear butter on your feet and you slip!

My Hill!

Turns out we were battling over a mountain. after recovering from our embarrassing mistake, I wipe off the butter and walk up the real hill.

not my mountain, My Hill!

A meteor kills you and destroys the old hill, but forms a new decayed hill!

My Hill!

that meteor somehow turned me into a superhero! We go into an epic battle that would be told for centuries, but eventually I defeat you with my laser vision.

My Hill!

You spontaneously combust.

MY HILL!!!