Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Tales of Interest! - Thoad's Absense

Thoad was writing on the computer, trying desperatley to get the new OCT round out as well as post his own OCT entry. He was almost ready to press the "Send" button on his e-mail when he felt a cloth come into contact with his mouth. He breathed in and was knocked out instantly. "Crap, it must be hollywood chloroform," he thought to himself.
"Nighty night, little thoad," a thick Russian accent from a women came out.
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Thoad found himself in his dreamworld. The Evil Candyland. A wonderful place it can be. It has everything you could possibly want. From innocent pure things like chocolate and candy and playing cards, to the more corrupted and awesome things boys look forward to, like [censored] and [censored] and [god-you-don't-even-wanna-know]. It was like sweden + 6!
So he had fun in his dreamland, doing a little bit of everything. When he woke up. The Russian lady was right in his face, holding a rather stupid looking knife. "You're knife seems a bit lame, miss," Thoad said, spitting in her face.
She snarled and stabbed the knife right in front of Thoad's pride and glory. "Next time," she continued to say in a heavy accent, "I won't miss."
"Cliche line, lady," He retorted.
She brought out another chair and sat on it, staring into Thoad's eyes. They both took this time to take in each other's featuers. Every little thing, color of hair, eyes, clothing. The green-clad fool noticed that she was very fond of black leather. Was he still in the Evil Candyland?
"I require your jewels," She said.
Thoad smirked and blushed, "As happy as I am to finally hear those words, I'm afraid I'm waiting." The Russian rose from her seat and used a stick to give some testicular trauma to the poor kid.
"Control yourself," she said to him, a small frown forming on her face. "I mean the jewels you keep in your pockets at all times. The jewels of the wraiths!" she was very serious, for some reason. Thoad inspected her black leather and noticed a crest. It was the crest of LoLWhut.
Thoad raised an eyebrow, "Hey, I didn't know LoLWhut was real. I also didn't know they hired Russian hit-women."
"Shut it!" She snapped. This was followed by a 30 minute long silence. She finally got the joke and mumbled a name-call under her breathe.
"Hey wait a minute, Wraith Jewels? Are you talking about that crap I wrote in my unfinished stories?" Thoad thought she might have read the Moderation Wars, and figured that the Wraith Jewels were tied to the story.
"Yes! I want them," She had a devilish smile.
"Uhh, sure. You're from LoLWhut, right? Then cut me loose and I'll give them to you," Thoad knew every employee from LoLWhut had to either be borderline insane or completely gullible. It was something they looked for in the resume.
So she did it. And Thoad ran. He ran far. Far, far away. He was like gump, only gump had a monster before he started running. What I'm trying to say is, he ran very, very far. Get it? I mean, FAAAR far. Not your "Dang I'm 6 miles away, I'm far" far, I mean "Dang I ran across the country in one go," far. He ran pretty far.
And he found himself in armorgames. He popped on the computer screen, and saw his excellent, 2 page long entry, side by side with his amazing OCT round, and prepared to send them both.
Suddenly, a Mazzelh came in and pressed alt+f4 on both windows and dived through the woodwork once more. "....KAAAAAAAAHN!" The unlucky b*stard yelled at his ceiling. It was now time to drink his sorrows away in the tavern.

So I looked to my left, and saw Cenere had been listening to my story. "And that's how I saved Christmas."

So I assumed that people might want an explanation for why I was gone. This is that explanationg.
Summary:
Because of Hollywood Chloroform, I was captured by a black-leather loving Russian chick who wanted the Wraith Jewels that may or may not be involved with one of my unfinished stories. I escaped and ran all the way to armorgames because I'm frickin' awesome. I tried to put in my entires and round but Zoph's evil Mazzelh's alt+f4 owned my *ss and I cried. I then went to the tavern and told my tale of how I saved christmas.

BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT BULLS***,
Say, remember my e-aids? Yeah, the thing that was slowly killing my computer tower? It hit my internet connection and I was unable to bring it back. So yeah. After about 2 weeks of that I had to move from my nice city environment with no bugs or allergies with nice friends and a great highschool to a rural area in California with a ton of parasitic bugs and spiders that all want to kill me. Oh yeah and the school isn't half as good and 70% of the kids here hold a grudge against me because I wronged them in the past by being a little sh*t. So yay.
ON A SIDE NOTE, I like drawing again. Wee.

So yeah, I look forward to crying over the WoM and how I f'd up and then cry about how everyone from the A.G.S. Explore probably aren't around anymore.

in short: LIFE SUCKS WHEN YOU HAVE TO BE MATURE AND NOT GET PISSY OVER YOUR MOTHER.