There will be time to start And a time end. A time in which to love And in which to hate. As you sit upon the Bench in a park And stare off into space There will be a year within a moment And a decade within that year. There will be time to hold on And time to let go. There will be time And time again. And you will breathe And you will reflect. There will be time within a day And time within a night. Time within a year And time within your life. And in between those times and now There will be more time And time for more time still so much time that every moment Is another life time. And then there will be a time to grow And time to learn. Time to spend And time to lose. A time to gain And time to hold. And time to save. There will be time when you have too much time And time when you have too little. And you will find yourself Sitting on the shores and pondering, Simply wondering... A time for joy And a time to cry. And as you stand pondering and wondering Of all the wheres and when Hows, whos and why You will have time to think And time to discover And time to hide. In the end there shall be time. No matter where you go No matter who you are Things you do Or the people you meet. There will be time.
I like the bits that suddenly rhyme and there's certain lines in there that stand out to me. Its a pleasant poem but.. I dunno.. it doesn't really make me feel anything. Shouldn't a poem make you feel something?
It makes me feel like wolf put a lot of time and effort into this. And the reward for your toil will be me saying that this is a very good poem that works off itself. Now isn't that a great reward?
I like your interpretation of Ecclesiastes 3, "A Time For Everything". If I find anything lacking in your poem it's with the last 6 lines:
"In the end there shall be time."
For me it begs the question, in the end of my life?, in the end of the world?
"No matter where you go"
Where we go on earth, while there's still time in our lives?
"No matter who you are"
This "who" is too vague and makes my mind wander off track. Do you mean humanity, collectively or individually?
"Things you do"
By things do you mean work? Things made with hands? Do things also represent places we go?
"Or, the people you meet."
Are these people outside of family connections? I would suggest using the word 'everyone', "Or, everyone you meet."
"There will be time."
Some of us don't have the time to meet everyone we would like to , accomplish the work we would like to or go to all of the places we would like to travel to. Are you telling us that, "Time will always be"?
As it stands, it's a wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I liked it, but I dunno. It just doesn't really stand out. I mean, I think it's better as prose than it would've been as a rhymed poem, but even so, the rhythm is off. Maybe it's just the meter I'm reading it with. Is it supposed to be trochaic or iambic?
I have over a hundred poems. I would gladly create a thread dedicated to my work if I could get some feed back. If you guys want me to post more of my work let me know. I know this isn't my best work and I always strive to improve. Thanks for the input.
It seems you're just picking for faults now, wajor.
"No matter who you are" This "who" is too vague and makes my mind wander off track.Really?
The poem has to specify every who, what and why? Generally, prose is specific and poems are open for interpretation.
I like your interpretation of Ecclesiastes 3, "A Time For Everything". If I find anything lacking in your poem it's with the last 6 lines:
As it stands, it's a wonderful poem.
Jezz, I'm sorry if I offended you, I wasn't "icking faults". I was merely pointing out the conclusion to his poem that I think was a little too vague, for me. I complimented his poem because I like it, not because I was being polite. He asked for criticism and this was the only weak spot I found. I'm sorry if I come off sounding curt, at times. I mean no harm by it I just call the shots as I see them but I'm no expert at poetry.
Jezz, I'm sorry if I offended you, I wasn't "icking faults". I was merely pointing out the conclusion to his poem that I think was a little too vague, for me. I complimented his poem because I like it, not because I was being polite. He asked for criticism and this was the only weak spot I found. I'm sorry if I come off sounding curt, at times. I mean no harm by it I just call the shots as I see them but I'm no expert at poetry
Too each his own. There is no need to apologize, you clearly justified what you did and didn't like about the poem and I in part agree with you. I would rather have someone "ick faults" so that I could look at their perspective and see if it has anything I can use to improve.
