Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Demon plague (short story)

Renjin, would you like me to edit your stories for you henceforth? I'd be glad to do it.
And also; the strange "box" symbols are caused by using Microsoft Word or Wordpad. Use Notepad instead of Word to write, and the symbols will not appear. It's mainly caused by the colons, semicolons, and apostrophes.

thanks i will repost didnt think about that

Demon Plague

In 2041 I witnessed a shining place known as Metropolis. Be come a lost shamble of its former self. I can remember the bustling of people, the constant buying and selling of goods. All about to end by the, invention of science, but that was so long ago, I was ten then. I can still remember the screaming and the screeching of those peopleâs voices, when they were dragged away, to be devoured by this âPlagueâ as those priests would say preaching their messages from the lord.
I can see the sweat trickle down my moms face. As she pressed down on the gas pedal, making the little red van she owned, go 75 mph in a 55 mph zone. She turned her head slightly, still keeping an eye on the road. She told me something Iâll never forget.
âJack I want you to know something,â She took a deep breath âIf-if anything happens to me,â tears start to soak her cheeks and I started to cry not even knowing why yet. Then she sniffled and collected herself enough to say âIf anything happens to me Jack I want you to run!â She started up crying she wanted to make sure I understood âDo you understand Jack I want you to run.â
I raised my head up and down like I understood, but I didnât know what she meant because, I thought nothing could hurt mommy, she was going to live forever.
We drove just a couple more minutes inside the van, then, a loud thump on top of the vans roof startled us. The thump left a huge dent as deep as a sinkhole, capable of being a small pond. We calmed ourselves, we thought all was good mom gave a nervous chuckle and I just cracked a smile, I thought everything was calm in the van again and we were going to be safe.
Suddenly, a hand punctured the roof then a arm came down in the middle of us an frantically waved around trying to grab one of us. Moms eyes started to widen in surprise then gave a scream shortly after. She slammed on the break with both of her feet, the arm above kept on waving around us franticly still trying to cling to one of us.
The car tires started to screech and squeal the break must have been so sudden since I saw that we were going 85 mph now in a 55 mph zone that mom started to lose control of the car and it started to spin around like a tea cup at one of those fun carnival rides. Which abruptly ended when the van crashed into a pole.
I was slightly disoriented, when I drowsily started to open my eyes. The arm had retreated from the hole in the roof.
Mom spoke low so only I can hear âAre you ok?â she asked whispering. I simply nodded my head up and down again.
âGrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!â I looked up at the hole left by the hand. Then the hand returned with a growl and it inched its way back to the hole in the roof and it clasped a corner and tore it bigger; then the arm reached inside, this time followed by a hooded figure. Mom gave a shriek of utter terror when it grabbed a hold of her; she tried to fight it off to no avail.
Itâs heavy breathing followed by a hiss a low diminished grunt as his gaze shifted from my mom to me, Iâll never forget the look of itâs face, itâs etched, no, itâs engraved into my mind.
The teeth were sharp as knifes, soaked in red, the chin like a bloody goatee, face so pale that it looked transparent, but itâs huge yellow eyes took that idea away.
That glance it had with me, felt that we looked at each other all day. My mom screamed âRun Jack!â still fighting the yellow eyed thing away.
I left her that way still fighting it, but I listened to what I was told, I opened the door, hoped out an ran as fast as I could with my short legs through all the yelling, screaming, looting, shooting, and laughing.
My pace slowed to a walk, I grabbed on to this white car to keep myself up, my heart pumped so much, I thought it would pop out from my chest.
Before I knew it I was sitting against the white car that was suppose to hold me up, I felt beaten and tired but mom told me to run, I couldnât quit now I thought.
I tried to stand up, but to no success it was hopeless I felt so weak; I took such long breaths of air I thought I was taking in all the oxygen of the world.
I heard such joyous word just when I was going to call it quits âHup two three fourâ it was the heroes in camouflage with guns in their hands; they walked in lines of four past me, I raised my hand in the hope of flagging one of them to help me.
Just as hope began to flush from my face, I wondered if anybody would see me. A wounded animal, left for dead if I donât get noticed, just as my arm lowered in despair as every last soldier passed me.
I remained sitting against the white car staring at the face of utter death, I looked up at the path I ran down not even four minutes ago, it began to become a black shadow about to engulf me and everyone left inside it.



My body began to cringe at the thought of being in that shadow or black cloud I just wanted to say âTake me in your arms lordâ but just that shimmer of hope of the words âHup two three fourâ kept me from saying it, the thought that just one of them would come back for me.
Then a hand grabbed me and started tugging me to follow, I had no choice as the hand pulled me like a âRoadrunnerâ cartoon.
I was like a rag doll to this person pulling me forward I remember saying âHeyâ¦Heyâ but no response came from the person then I heard nothing everything was quiet no yelling, screaming, or shooting.
I turned my gaze right; soldiers were pushing people forward but no words were exchanged. Then I moved my gaze slowly left; to see an alleyway with a man smashing someoneâs face in. But he wasnât arrested for murder, thatâs just the new rule of this place now I thought.


After that realization of the man in the alleyway, the person set me up against a wall I finally got to see the face of my hero.


BY

guess i need fire fox folks =(

No...I use IE and my posts don't have that. Here, I'll fix it.
You have to write it in Notepad. In order to get the symbols to leave after having already written it in Word, you have to re-write every symbol.
I'll fix it for you.

In 2041 I witnessed a shining place known as Metropolis. Be come a lost shamble of its former self. I can remember the bustling of people, the constant buying and selling of goods. All about to end by the, invention of science, but that was so long ago, I was ten then. I can still remember the screaming and the screeching of those peoples' voices, when they were dragged away, to be devoured by this plague as those priests would say preaching their messages from the lord.
I can see the sweat trickle down my moms face. As she pressed down on the gas pedal, making the little red van she owned, go 75 mph in a 55 mph zone. She turned her head slightly, still keeping an eye on the road. She told me something I'll never forget.
"Jack I want you to know something," She took a deep breath "If-if anything happens to me," tears start to soak her cheeks and I started to cry not even knowing why yet. Then she sniffled and collected herself enough to say "If anything happens to me Jack I want you to run!" She started up crying she wanted to make sure I understood "Do you understand Jack I want you to run."
I raised my head up and down like I understood, but I didn't know what she meant because, I thought nothing could hurt mommy, she was going to live forever.
We drove just a couple more minutes inside the van, then, a loud thump on top of the vans roof startled us. The thump left a huge dent as deep as a sinkhole, capable of being a small pond. We calmed ourselves, we thought all was good mom gave a nervous chuckle and I just cracked a smile, I thought everything was calm in the van again and we were going to be safe.
Suddenly, a hand punctured the roof then a arm came down in the middle of us an frantically waved around trying to grab one of us. Moms eyes started to widen in surprise then gave a scream shortly after. She slammed on the break with both of her feet, the arm above kept on waving around us franticly still trying to cling to one of us.
The car tires started to screech and squeal the break must have been so sudden since I saw that we were going 85 mph now in a 55 mph zone that mom started to lose control of the car and it started to spin around like a tea cup at one of those fun carnival rides. Which abruptly ended when the van crashed into a pole.
I was slightly disoriented, when I drowsily started to open my eyes. The arm had retreated from the hole in the roof.
Mom spoke low so only I can hear "Are you ok?" she asked whispering. I simply nodded my head up and down again.
"Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!" I looked up at the hole left by the hand. Then the hand returned with a growl and it inched its way back to the hole in the roof and it clasped a corner and tore it bigger; then the arm reached inside, this time followed by a hooded figure. Mom gave a shriek of utter terror when it grabbed a hold of her; she tried to fight it off to no avail.
Its heavy breathing followed by a hiss a low diminished grunt as his gaze shifted from my mom to me, I'll never forget the look of its face, it's etched, no, it's engraved into my mind.
The teeth were sharp as knifes, soaked in red, the chin like a bloody goatee, face so pale that it looked transparent, but its huge yellow eyes took that idea away.
That glance it had with me, felt that we looked at each other all day. My mom screamed "Run Jack!" still fighting the yellow eyed thing away.
I left her that way still fighting it, but I listened to what I was told, I opened the door, hoped out an ran as fast as I could with my short legs through all the yelling, screaming, looting, shooting, and laughing.
My pace slowed to a walk, I grabbed on to this white car to keep myself up, my heart pumped so much, I thought it would pop out from my chest.
Before I knew it I was sitting against the white car that was suppose to hold me up, I felt beaten and tired but mom told me to run, I couldn't quit now I thought.
I tried to stand up, but to no success it was hopeless I felt so weak; I took such long breaths of air I thought I was taking in all the oxygen of the world.
I heard such joyous word just when I was going to call it quits "Hup two three four" it was the heroes in camouflage with guns in their hands; they walked in lines of four past me, I raised my hand in the hope of flagging one of them to help me.
Just as hope began to flush from my face, I wondered if anybody would see me. A wounded animal, left for dead if I don't get noticed, just as my arm lowered in despair as every last soldier passed me.
I remained sitting against the white car staring at the face of utter death, I looked up at the path I ran down not even four minutes ago, it began to become a black shadow about to engulf me and everyone left inside it.

My body began to cringe at the thought of being in that shadow or black cloud I just wanted to say "Take me in your arms lord" but just that shimmer of hope of the words "Hup two three four" kept me from saying it, the thought that just one of them would come back for me.
Then a hand grabbed me and started tugging me to follow, I had no choice as the hand pulled me like a Roadrunner cartoon.
I was like a rag doll to this person pulling me forward I remember saying "Hey¦Hey!" but no response came from the person then I heard nothing everything was quiet no yelling, screaming, or shooting.
I turned my gaze right; soldiers were pushing people forward but no words were exchanged. Then I moved my gaze slowly left; to see an alleyway with a man smashing someone's face in. But he wasn't arrested for murder, that's just the new rule of this place now I thought.
After that realization of the man in the alleyway, the person set me up against a wall I finally got to see the face of my hero.

Notes: "It's", with an apostrophe, is a contraction for "It is", whereas "its", with no apostrophe, is possessive. There were other mistakes too, that one just stood out since I was fixing the apostrophes.
That should be better.