It all happened too fast... It really happened. The doomsayers have been preaching of it for years.. And we ignored it. Rejected and shunned them because we thought they were crazy, talking about such unreal things. Now theyâre the ones calling us crazy for not believing them. But, of course, there arenât many left to brag to anyway. A story of the few.
I was at home when it happened⦠sitting on my soft, brown leather recliner, watching the evening comedies. Too bad it was one of those rare hysterical ones⦠A newscast came on," This is News Reporter Alex Miller of BCA News Willington.We have just heard reports of mysterious murders in the city, and city officials recommend staying indoors until we can find the perpetrator." Ah not much new, enough crime in this city as it is, not very shocking for a string of murders. But nonetheless I followed their advice and stayed home. The show continued, and after a few skits I walked across my carpeted floor into the kitchen to cook dinner. Since Iâm not exactly Iron Chef, I had the usual, a TV dinner and some leftovers from yesterdayâs . Halfway through cutting my Steak with Gravy, I heard a knock on the door. Not very often I have a visitor, i thought. So I cautiously opened my creaky wooden door and saw it was that nice African lady from next door,Ms. Jonna. " Hello Mike, nice weather isn't it?" she said, swaying slightly. I knew she was worried because it definetly wasnât the best weather, humid, cold, and overcast. " Why yes it is." I responded with an awkward smile. " Mind if I come in, its getting chilly out here." She says, tightening her red, flowing shower robe. " sure, come on in!" i stepped to the side to let her in. We walked to the living room silently, the floor creaking slightly. I sat on the couch, and she had the recliner, which embarrassingly still had dirty plates and empty popcans still around it. " Have you heard about those murders?" She asked, staring behind me towards the window before looking at me again.
" Ah, I wouldnât think of it as much, especially not in this city." I said passively. " Well yes, but thereâs something different about this one⦠maybe I'm just overly suspicious, but rarely do they ever tell people to stay at home until itâs dealed with. Plus... it just doesn't feel right... do you feel the same?" she asked, looking away while speaking.
Use notepad to write, to get rid of those symbols.
1. What's with all the random capitals? 2. It has no resolution. 3. It's cliche Other than that...it's okay. Pretty good first person, normal thoughts that make it more believable.
i was planning in this being a longer story, so it is far from over =D
Yes, but even so it feels like you stopped right in the middle of it...she looked away while speaking? You couldn't have ended with something a little better?
