ForumsArt, Music, and Writinga... Story?,poem? by me.

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Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

I am the mountain,the solid rock, the earth;
I am impenetrable, a fortress; a god,
I am blank, unemotional,my will implacable.
no sight nor touch nor memory;I am alone.

then it came; no, she came,
she was stirring,beauty, emotion, happinessfreedomexcitement and disturbing all at once!
She was an idea, a message that rushed right through me,
The idea that,life was possible that i, beast of solitude could could have something i dared not think about,
that i could fulfill my life with one clichéd word:love.



am now peaceful as i lay dying, the lover long dead; knowing i soon follow, staring at the long part between birth and death
I impart to you,dear human:contentment is the greatest thing to achieve.
do you like it? does it need improvement?

  • 3 Replies
NoUserNo
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NoUserNo
22 posts
Nomad

I like it It's really cool

cacagrande1310
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cacagrande1310
32 posts
Nomad

not bad u r a good writer

waluigi
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waluigi
1,946 posts
Shepherd

Not bad . I like the story you told through the poem, but I feel some of the lines could be shorter, in particular, the 4th line of the second stanza.

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