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Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

I am the mountain,the solid rock, the earth;
I am impenetrable, a fortress; a god,
I am blank, unemotional,my will implacable.
no sight nor touch nor memory;I am alone.

then it came; no, she came,
she was stirring,beauty, emotion, happinessfreedomexcitement and disturbing all at once!
She was an idea, a message that rushed right through me,
The idea that,life was possible that i, beast of solitude could could have something i dared not think about,
that i could fulfill my life with one clichéd word:love.



am now peaceful as i lay dying, the lover long dead; knowing i soon follow, staring at the long part between birth and death
I impart to you,dear human:contentment is the greatest thing to achieve.

needs improvement? i made it up yesterday. took me thirty seconds to think then type it up.(not bragging i timed it)

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Oradnal
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Oradnal
50 posts
Nomad

Nice poem, but you missed a few spaces in the second paragraph, and at the

clichÃcd
bit, i'd just replace it with a proper word. Also put in all the punctuations it may take some time but it makes it look nice and neat. Other than that well done, I quite like poetry but mine is pretty moderate.
Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

it's meant to be clichéd but the thing at the top of the e got messed up with copy/paste

Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

cliched dammit!

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