Before anyone gets confused, this is a story-making thread. In layman's terms: I will create a basic story line for you users, and you users will collaboratively create your own unique story. Well, I don't mean "you users" as anything insulting. :P
ABOUT Once a week, I will post a story. And users will write together to make the story come to a finish. Stories will and can be anything anyone wants them to be. I'm looking for a story of at least 25 sentences, no larger than an average school essay! Stories will come to a close, and judging will take place at 3:30pm Eastern time.
Competitors can write however much of their story they choose on any day! A day ends at 10:00pm Eastern time.
Day One ( Saturday ): Intro and Chapter 1 ( max 20 sentences ) - Intro of new story is written. - Competitors will begin to write their chapter one to their story.
Day Two ( Sunday ): Chapter 2 ( max 15 sentences ) - Chapter two should be started. - SLIGHT revisions to Chapter 1 can be made.
Day Three ( Monday ): Chapter 3 ( max 15 sentences ) - Chapter three should be started. - SLIGHT revisions to Chapter 2 can be made.
Day Four ( Tuesday ): Mid-story Judging - Chapters 1, 2, and 3 MUST be completed. - Stories will be judged so far; results are NOT final. - Changes can be made to ALL chapters AFTER judging!
Day Five ( Wednesday ): Chapter 4 ( max 20 sentences ) - Chapter four should be started. - NO REVISIONS/CHANGES CAN BE MADE!!!
Day Six ( Thursday ): Chapter 5 ( max 15 sentences ) - Chapter five should be in work. - SLIGHT revisions to Chapter 4 can be made. - Chapters 6-8 must be at least 5 sentences, with a maximum of 15.
Day Seven ( Friday ): Judging - Story must be completed and submitted. - Submissions can be NO LESS than 5 chapters, NO MORE than 8. Feel free to post story suggestions or even story lines!
RULES Golden Rule: All rules of AG should be followed! I) Re-read! - Spelling errors, punctuation mistakes, and grammatical errors result in a loss in points! II) Revise! - Check the "Competition Schedule" to see if you can make revisions to your previous chapter(s)! III) Ask! - If you have a question or just need some help, ASK! IV) Help! - Help by answering other competitor's questions or by becoming an administrator or judge! V) Manners! - Be kind, polite, and use constructive criticism. VI) Boundaries! - Stay within the sentence limits and content limits, not doing so will result in a loss of points or disqualification.
FIRST STORY As if the droning of your alarm clock was not enough, you find yourself waking to yet an even louder, but more horrifying noise; the air-raid siren of the city blaring loud at long, over-played intervals. A sinister air lay about as you thought how desolate the streets were for a late morning, and how the only noise was the all-permeating drone of the distress beacon. As these thoughts ran sluggishly through your mind in your morning grogginess, the siren's call was cut short some long seconds. You open the only window in your room, which over watched the street, having to put in more strength then you were comfortable, for it was held shut by the stiffness of the morning air. And to your horrifying shock and disbelief, platoons of an army, not yours, parade through the streets breaking off in packs for the systematic invasion of all the homes they passed. You spin on your heels and with your back to the window you begin to stage your plans.
Thoughts race through my head, AH -- I can't think straight! What do I do? I lean against a wall, panting in disbelief. I need to think, to relax. I put my back against the wall and slowly slide down to a fetal position, burying my head into my arms. Still -- what do I do? I hear the front door bust open, and heavy boots storm in, filling the silence of the house. It almost seems like thunder as they heave their way up the stairs. I prop my self up to the balls of my feet, glide to my bedroom, and to the nightstand. I rip off the drawer and empty it's contents to the floor. A 9mm lands on top of some books -- my wife has extreme paranoia. I check the chamber, loaded. Take the clip out, full. The soldiers are finally up the stairs and in the hallway, clearing each room with frag grenades. I stand no chance if I stay. I holster the weapon on the bottom of my back and run to the window. Clouds of black dust and plumes of fire rocket into the air. I hear the soft and faint rain of artillery way off in the distance, I see uniformed men march in lines, the sky is orange and planes race through -- flying shadows across torn houses, dilapidated from previous strikes. The siren screams no more, probably gone. I hear a soft "at" behind me, and out of the corner of my eye I see something roll from the rugged center of my room to the wood floor, making a clink sound. It's green... a grenade.
Realistically, an army wouldn't waste resources as to clear out every single room with frag grenades. A basic civilian just isn't threat enough. "The siren screams no more, . . .", don't double back onto already said details. As for the last sentence: "It's green... a grenade.", try to avoid ending a chapter with a statement. But rather say it like this: ". . . I see something [don't say 'thing'!] roll from the rugged center of my room to the wood floor, making a clink sound. Without a seconds delay, I bounded through the open window."
Realistically, an army wouldn't waste resources as to clear out every single room with frag grenades. A basic civilian just isn't threat enough.
Each Army has their own way of clearing out rooms. Some with blinders, weapons that incapacitate, etc. You can't just go and say this army doesn't do this realistically. We don't know who this "Army" is.
"The siren screams no more, . . .", don't double back onto already said details.
If you really think this, you would have yelled at me for the description of the view out the window. Also, you never implied to the destruction of the siren.
As for the last sentence: "It's green... a grenade.", try to avoid ending a chapter with a statement.
Each other has their own preference to how their chapter ends. How I ended it is commonly know as a "cliff hanger". Instead of the naive view towards what the object was, I wanted to leave the reader naive to what the next action was. To create a page turner.
Each Army has their own way of clearing out rooms. Some with blinders, weapons that incapacitate, etc. You can't just go and say this army doesn't do this realistically. We don't know who this "Army" is.
I don't think any army uses blinders and such unless they're in a high-danger situation. Again, civilians just aren't danger enough.
If you really think this, you would have yelled at me for the description of the view out the window. Also, you never implied to the destruction of the siren.
It's not by job for detail, but yours. All I'm saying is in the intro, the siren had already been cut short. Almost anyone would agree that the siren wouldn't be ending again if it hadn't even started again.
Each other has their own preference to how their chapter ends. How I ended it is commonly know as a "cliff hanger". Instead of the naive view towards what the object was, I wanted to leave the reader naive to what the next action was. To create a page turner.
I said what I said, not through opinion, but through correction. It's just not "good english" have a statement as a cliffhanger. Unfinished actions are what draw the most attention. And notice how I never stated what the object was? Again, that bring in more suspense.
Did you notice how the two of you just turned this thread into an argument?
ThesaurusRex, I realize that this is your thread but people have their own styles of writing, which evolve and improve at different rates, it's alright to point it out but don't force the issue.
PureTrouble criticism is generally a good thing, even if you don't take the advice, at least listen to it.
Panicking I kicked at the grenade sending it back into the hallway, seconds later an explosion followed by pained screams rang through the now eerily silent house. I quickly went out to the balcony and jumped over the railing, I couldn't help but stare at the sheer devastation around me. Flames licked the houses of my neighbors, and I could hear terrified screams interspersed with gun shots and muffled explosions. I forced myself to move, sprinting towards the park across the street. I knew I had to find shelter, somewhere that these soldiers wouldn't find me. Suddenly a voice crackled through the air, "All civilians be advised we are now under NTR, report to the bunker closest to you. This is not a warning, I repeat this is not a warning ."
I froze, everything around me dulled, the announcement rang in my ears. NTR was Nuclear Threat Radius, it was activated when there was an impending nuclear blast within city limits. The nearest blast shelter was just a few blocks away, now I just had to figure out how to get there with out being shot or blown to pieces.
Yea, I did notice that. I'll try to keep my criticism to a lesser degree. On a side note, I'm not sure if you read the OP, but you get to write you're own story, not add to another's. I don't expect this thread to take off much because people will be writing, but I hope I get a few members. [:
Anyone else, feel free to write! I'll accept smaller stories for the first judging.
I don't expect this thread to take off much because people will be writing
I don't understand this statement. I took it as you assume sarcastically that no one here wants to write.
There are already 2, if not 3 writing threads and multiple poetry threads already in existance so I doubt people have extra time to take part in yours.
I meant it as said: I just don't expect this to take off much at all. It requires more writing than a poetry contest but I like it more because it challenges writing ability, more so than a poem. That's all.
