Lester was excited the day he turned thirteen years old. It was the day he could join the ranks as a gunner in training. He awoke from his sleep at around 6:30 AM. He sneaked by the rooms of his small, dirty house. But his mother had awakened, "What are you doing out of bed so early, Lester?" His face turned red, and he started to sweat. "I'm... never mind. I'm going back to bed." He took a short nap until it was 8:00 AM, when the sun had risen. He yawned as he wandered into the kitchen, hoping there was something to eat. Oddly, his mother had seemed to be missing. He checked the rooms, but only to find nothing. He panicked now. He sprinted outside the door, and saw the town on fire. People were running in terror, being captured by pirates, and many were shot down. Lester ran into the forest, in tears.
"What happened..." Lester fell to the ground in exhaustion, pulling the grass. He dozed off, and slept peacefully. He awoke at midnight, seeing the bright full moon. There was howling in the distance, but it had gotten louder and closer. Lester soon heard rustling in the bushes. Out came a wolf, standing on two legs, with claws sharp and long, teeth even bigger than kitchen knives, and eyes glowing in the moonlight. It howled, and pounced toward Lester. It stopped halfway, and fell to the ground. There a was a loud thud and smoke. He couldn't see what had happened, but he was soon dragged away from the scene.
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I know it's not good, but constructive criticism may help. Since I'm not much of a writer, I'm writing stories to practice... Uh, writing stories. P.S. The chapters are short. ~Worst Sniper
He sprinted outside the door, and saw the town on fire. People were running in terror, being captured by pirates, and many were shot down.
So people were dying, the town was burning, and he was taking a nap. You'd think that he'd wake up because of the noise.
"What happened..." Lester fell to the ground in exhaustion, pulling the grass. He dozed off, and slept peacefully. He awoke at midnight, seeing the bright full moon.
So he woke up, ran, then fell asleep again and slept for 16 hours. Is he a cat?
Lester had been knocked out soon after he had been dragged off into the forest. He awoke inside a small cabin, dusty, dark, and spider webs everywhere. He looked out the window, seeing that it was already morning. He looked for a door. Though he found one, he try to open it. It was locked. He tried numerous times to bash the door down, but it just wouldn't budge. He fell backwards and landed on something. He stood up to see what it was. A dead, rotting rat being eaten by insects and such. He was disgusted and walked back. Someone knocked on the door of the cabin, it was a young man with blond hair and bright blue eyes. He was quite taller than Lester and seemed more buff.
"Hi, I'm John Steele. Captain Nyrik wanted me to get you." Lester stared at him for a while, confused. He then asked, "Who is he..?" John walked away and dragged Lester with him. They walked through a forest full of boars and pigs. John started to walk faster and faster. Lester tired out quickly, but still followed. As soon as Lester tired out, they were in front of a large ship, which had the initials P and L painted on the sides. They entered, the floor creaked and whispers could be heard. ----------------------------------------------
So he woke up, ran, then fell asleep again and slept for 16 hours. Is he a cat?
Team leap I guess. I'm explaining that later in the story.
So people were dying, the town was burning, and he was taking a nap. You'd think that he'd wake up because of the noise.
John Steele had stayed quiet since they had met. They silently walked into the halls of the dark, creaky, old looking ship. They kept walking on and on. "So, who is Captain Nyrik," Lester asked. John kept quiet, and gave Lester a look. Lester was confused and asked, "Where are we? Where are you taking me?" John had finally spat out a loud, "Quiet!" They reached the end of the hall.
He opened the door seeing that Captain Nyrik was sitting next to a large window, looking out into the ocean. Lester walked towards him slowly. Captain Nyrik had suddenly turned around and yelled out, "Hello me lad! I've sent John here to get ye and bring ye back here." Lester stared at him in confusion, "Why?" John left the room and stood outside, waiting patiently. Captain Nyrik answered in a nicer, calmer tone, "Your town has been invaded, am I correct? I sent out John to look for you, he saw you were being attacked and saved you. He then dragged you out here." Lester was still confused, "Why am I here though?" Captain Nyrik whispered, "You're one the pirates of the legend." He then chuckled and pushed Lester out of the room.
John stood up from the dusty bench and told Lester to follow him. They walked outside and stopped on the sandy beach. "So what now," Lester asked. "We're gonna start training," John replied, with a confident voice. They both ran into the forest and ended up in a small pit. Lester was now very confused. Out of the darkness, a small pig came out. The pig charged Lester, and knocked him down with full force. He held his head, as if he had received a knock out blow. John coughed purposely, putting an insult in between. "So, you need a weapon. Gun or fist?" John asked stiffly. Lester grinned, "Gun, of course." John handed him a small, rusty pistol. Lester stared at John, but then aimed the gun for the pig. His hands shook and he missed the shot. The pig was now angered, and charged again. This time, Lester was completely knocked out. ----------------------------------------------
The plot is sort of developing, but slowly. I don't know if I'm getting better or not, but please comment.
Adventurers - Chapter 4: Full Potential is Earned Through...
Lester awoke in a large room. It had shiny ebony floors, large windows with views of the ocean, a bunk bed standing at least two times taller than Lester, an empty closet, a bathroom with new clean showers and sinks, and a small area for a television set with a couch. He was amazed at how beautiful this simple room was. He smiled, and got out of bed.
He walked through the halls, seeing there were many rooms the same as his room. He walked down the halls, thinking, if he was still on the same ship. The entered the mess hall. There were tons of other people, eating different kinds of food. Lester went to get a food tray, and some warm soup. He thought it was the best thing he tasted since sliced bread. John Steele sat down with Lester in the mess hall. He talked in a normal voice, "Man, Lester. You were pretty beaten up." They sat and kept eating. Lester still wondered if he was on the same ship. "Hey John, is this the same ship we were on earlier?" John stood up and nodded. He walked away and looked at Lester. Lester stood up and gave his food to the trash man. John and Lester walked outside the ship.
John sighed as they walked inside the forest. "Don't worry, I know how hard training as a gunner is. I'm only second rank. I've still got ten more ranks to go. It takes hard work to show your full potential as a gunner. I can show you the ranks and skills for a gunner." John showed Lester a list of them. The list said,
"Gunner Skills And Ranks" First Rank: Novice Gunner, learns to do 'Basic Shot' and learns about handling.
Second Rank: Ametuer Gunner, learns to do 'Dash' and learns about accuracy.
Third Rank: Gunner, learns how to shoot two bullets at a time.
Fourth Rank: ....
The rest of the list had been torn off. Lester had noticed it, and looked at John. John ran off into the direction of the ship. Lester was confused, and ran after him. ---------------------------------------------
