ForumsArt, Music, and WritingTrey in China

3 2023
RightwRong
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RightwRong
184 posts
Nomad

Iam writing a story. It starts below.

There again, Trey found himself in the boys bathroom getting beat up. He had just moved to China, and he was new to school. Yeah, there was that girl he liked... but he did not think that was the problem. Then he got punched in the face. He told his mom after school he ran into a poll. His mom did not believe him and told him that poll was a very weird poll. After school, he went to the park. He saw that same girl setting on the bench play a violin. There was alos those mean kids who beat him up. Id rather be back in Detriot then here. His mom moved from Detroit to China, because were she worked transferred her. He went karate class and then home. At home he had dinner and went to bed. When his mom was asleep, he heard a knock on his window...

  • 3 Replies
Pazx
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Pazx
5,845 posts
Peasant

It's a little choppy and the grammar and spelling are well, crap but otherwise it's a good start to a story

BackFlip
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BackFlip
138 posts
Nomad

wheres the rest ??

Secretmapper
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Secretmapper
1,747 posts
Nomad

I must say, that is the movie Karate Kid except for the knock on the window and the name. Everything else , is carbon copy...

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