Hey, back again. With this story, I'd like you to proofread and revise it. It only takes a second to make an account on writerscafe or you can post here. If you don't proofread or revise that's fine give me some crit. though. Remember, this is a rough draft. Thanks guys.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/bloodruneth/631562/ ^There is the link to Lion of God.
Well. It is very choppy, but I can see the initial idea of it all. It has a good story in it, but it is very choppy, and everything happens WAYYYY too fast. Go into your detail further and you will have a less rough- rough draft.
