ForumsArt, Music, and WritingGtfawjkjg's Story

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gtfawjkjg
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gtfawjkjg
1,126 posts
Nomad

I woke up suddenly. I was suprised, as I had no idea where I was. I looked around, and I saw a deep endless hall in front of me, and nothing behind me. I couldn't remember anything at all, it was as if I had to other events that occured to me in life. I couldn't even remember my name. It seemed hopeless to escape, but I had never checked my pockets I had realised just now. I dug my hand down, and found a thin piece of plastic that said:

Test Subject ID: False/Unknown
Code Name: Gtfawjkjg
Information: -

Quite odd, I had thought. Is there other people here? What does Gtfawjkjg mean? So many questions. I checked my other pocket, and found a small ring. I had picked it up careful and slowly. I examined it while I walk around, thinking, and... I tripped, and the ring drop to the ground, and a golden liquid leaked out. Although it seems impossible, the liquid had become slightly more gooey, and had started to pull together into a form. I slowly walked away, hoping that I will wake up from a bad dream.

No. It was real. By now, the golden liquid had become so solid that it was barely transparent, and the form the it was in, looked long, and pointed at the end. I decided to examine it more. I got close to the ground, pulled back my long, brown hair from my forehead so I could see better. With my other hand, I scratched my forehead confused. The golden liquid had form a blade-- but no handle.

What do you think? This isn't very long, but I wanted a bit of feedback before I waste my time writing for no one that likes it.

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gtfawjkjg
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gtfawjkjg
1,126 posts
Nomad

Oops, spelling error.

it was as if I had to other events that occured to me in life.


Should be

it was as if I had no other events that occured to me in life.
UnlimitedDragon
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UnlimitedDragon
463 posts
Nomad

cool story could be a little longer you sould make a nother chaper or somthiing

gtfawjkjg
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gtfawjkjg
1,126 posts
Nomad

--Yeah, I didn't read over it, there are a few errors, but I think its understandable.

gtfawjkjg
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gtfawjkjg
1,126 posts
Nomad

Unlimited, this is just the beginning of a story I am writing. I just wanted feedback on the first few paragraphs.

Secretmapper
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Secretmapper
1,747 posts
Nomad

A very good start, but starting from the line I checked my other pocket, though, it seemed the story was rushed.

gtfawjkjg
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gtfawjkjg
1,126 posts
Nomad

Alright, heres another part of the story.



As there was nothing left to do, or atleast anything that came to mind, I just sat there and hoped for food and water. Now, for some reason, I just had to wake up starving. I started to smell bread. Lots of bread. I stood up, and I lifted my nose into the air like a dog. I sniffed, and I smelled something from outside the left wall. I put my nose to the wall...

Yes, there was another room. With bread, perhaps water, too. I smashed my fist on the wall. Although I was weaked from hunger and I am not considered a 'strong' person, there was a slight shake in the wall. Hmm, maybe the wall is thin, I might be able to knock it over! I thought, and I punched the wall again. A louder shake ouccured, and this time, a clear pice of a red gem fell from the ceiling. Hmm, maybe everything here is made out of unusual objects? The piece of gem had moved towards the golden blade, and it had gone right to the flat edge. It had reshaped and turned into a sword handle. I looked at it for a moment, and started attacking the wall again. By now, my knuckles were bleeding, and my hands were cold. I put them into my pockets for warmth-- I felt the piece of plastic again. I took it out, assuming it would somehow change like everything else.

Test Subject ID: False/Unknown
Code Name: Gtfawjkjg
Information: Obtained sword 'Goldheart'

I was puzzled at that moment. Although it would some quite obvious to someone else that Goldheart was the Golden sword, I was quite hungry, and mymind was on other things. I still had no escape plan.

gtfawjkjg
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gtfawjkjg
1,126 posts
Nomad

Oops, I pressed enter, trying to end a paragraph, but instead the post was-- posted. Sorry, I didn't get a chance to read over it.

Secretmapper
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Secretmapper
1,747 posts
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The first was mysterious, and a feeling of being alone and scared was felt. But the second one seemed to goof off.

gtfawjkjg
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gtfawjkjg
1,126 posts
Nomad

...Yeah, I was tired when I wrote those, and now where I live its 9:45. I usually can't work well when I am tired.

Secretmapper
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Secretmapper
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And now where I live is 1:08 AM

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