ForumsArt, Music, and WritingMy New Poem

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Necaremus
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Necaremus
16 posts
Nomad

I don't think this poems very good but:

Elder oaken branches twisting up towards the sky,
do not and can not lie,
because the the spirits of the light are inside of them.
But when the spirits of the dark come with their might,
the trees are unable to take flight,
and so they are part of the day and the night.

What do you think?

  • 2 Replies
IcyIndia
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IcyIndia
1,344 posts
Nomad

It's alright. Kind of.

I do like the idea.
But the meter is kind of terrible. Sorry.
Try making the lines more even.
So yeah.
Just-- METER!!!
But I like it otherwise.

ExplosiveDynamite
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ExplosiveDynamite
316 posts
Nomad

This is quite good actually,
But yea, I no I need to do it too, but METER!
Haha, good luck with the rest of your poems.

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