Well, I'm fascinated by Greek mythology, so on the basis of that, I'll just post some of what I was currently writing here.
Chapter 1: âThe Argumentâ
âDad, please can I go visit Momâ, Thalia asked? Zeus stroke his beard, and went into a deep thought, then replied, âNo Thalia, you canât visit your mother, you know that you are a demigod, and will get haunted by several beasts on your way to Chicagoâ. Thalia screamed, âWhy are you trying to ruin my life, I havenât seen Mom since I was 7, Iâm 16 now for crying out loud, and I will always have your presence if anything assaults me!â Thalia walked towards the door, and went outside, and slammed the door behind her, going down from the lift of Mount Olympus. Wandering around the streets of New York alone, Thalia felt depressed, and just started to walk, and walk. She felt as if someone was trying to get inside her head, âDonât do this Thalia,â the voice had whispered gently, this gave her the urge to stay walking, and then she burst into a jog while the dark of the night was approaching, she sprinted eagerly towards the Panther Peak mountains, in New York, and started to hike up. Almost immediately after she had started to hike, the mountains began to shake, Thalia began to feel dizzy, and she saw a huge figure running towards her, it was a minotaur.  The minotaur was in a charge towards her, but the rocks were crumbling, Thalia slowly climbed a different side, and the minotaur, had slipped and, fallen off the mountain, the last thing Thalia had seen was a cloud of dust, and she had drifted away into a dream.
I understand that the symbols may be annoying to read, but feedback would be nice anyways, also the chapters are short too..
Chapter 2: âA Dreamâ
Thaliaâs mind visualized her fatherâs room in Mount Olympus, it was completely dark and dusty, and there was no sign of her father anywhere, the dream shifted towards the Underworld, and Cerberus was growling, each head chewing on a dead corpse, Thalia, had suddenly woke up, and she was lying on top of the âPanthers Peakâ, with blood underneath her head, she had nothing with her, just a swiss army knife, a black army jacket, t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. So she had to go back home and get some ambrosia and nectar, extra clothing, and some extra weapons.
I'm probably going to do some minor editing to it, when I finish the story, I just want to get the plot done, and none of this is the main part of the story, so for now I don't feel much need to go in great detail of it.
I had some pictures to go with each chapter, but I'm too lazy to find the initial link to post them here.
Chapter 3: âMount Olympusâ
Thalia started to walk down the mountain, thinking of her actions on the previous day, what had made her just walk out the door? Was it her sudden hatred towards her father, or had she just wanted to do it for a long time, Thalia herself, didnât even know. She had reached the bottom of Pantherâs Peak, when she suddenly realized, she had no home, she had lived in a small room in Mount Olympus, where the rest of the Godâs lived. She had went in the elevator of Mount Olympus, and pressed the âlightningâ button, which would take her to her fatherâs floor. The elevator, had flashing lights, and then within the space of five seconds, Thalia could see her fatherâs throne, which had his famous lightning bolt slanted sideways beside it. Thalia noticed there was nobody here, like in her dream the night before, she started to call out âDad, Dad,â Thalia didnât hear a reply, and slumped down onto the floor with her hands in her hair, thinking, âWhat if I hadnât walked out yesterday, everything would be fine, `this` is all my fault. Thalia just sat there thinking to herself for ages, and ages, and then she just stood up and rummaged around the place, she noticed a piece of parchment on the table, with a pen beside it, she knew this was her fatherâs pen and paper, she picked up the parchment and realized, this was the invisible ink writing, she ran her hand over the parchment and the writing began to show.
"Dad, please can I go visit Mom", Thalia asked? Zeus stroked his beard, and went into a deep thought, then replied, "No Thalia, you canât visit your mother, you know that you are a demigod, and will get haunted by several beasts on your way to Chicago". Thalia screamed, "Why are you trying to ruin my life, I havenât seen Mom since I was 7, Iâm 16 now for crying out loud, and I will always have your presence if anything assaults me!" Thalia sighed, and walked towards the door, and went outside, and slammed the door behind her, she walked into the lift beside the door, and hit the "ground floor" button. The lift made a ping noise, and Thalia stepped out onto the streets of New York City. Thalia -wandering around the streets of New York alone, felt depressed, and just began to walk slowly. Thalia felt as if someone was trying to get inside her head, "Donât do this Thalia," the voice had whispered gently, Thalia screamed, and random passers looked on at her, one man had even asked her "Are you okay?" Thalia just gave him a blank stare, and walked onwards. The dark of the night was approaching, and Thalia felt alone again, with just random drunks walking around her, she jogged eagerly towards the Panther Peak mountains, wishing to get out of everyoneâs sight, and started to climb up. Thalia felt the mountains shake beneath her feet, and then she slipped, and hung onto a part of the mountain sticking out jaggedly, Thalia began to scream for help, and then, she saw a huge figure and the distance and called "Help me please, my arm is cut, I donât have the strength to pull myself up". The figure charged towards, and Thalia then realized, that it was a minotaur, the minotaur came closer to Thalia, and Thalia could feel her hand slipping, the minotaur jumped, and the whole mountain began to shake, Thaliaâs fingers slipped, and she was falling down a mountain thinking, this is the end of my life. As Thalia was freefalling, she had landed on a piece of rock, and fell asleep unconsciously. The minotaur saw this as an opportunity to kill the demigod, and he jumped, holding his axe, he had just passed the part of rock where Thalia was lying, he swung the axe into the ground and tried to haul himself up, he had just reached the top, when a flash of lightning blinded his eyes, and he let go of his grip on the axe, and fell to the bottom of the mountain, a dust cloud rose up, and covered up the minotaurs axe.
Tried to add a little more detail, tell me which one is better, this one or the first one.
Quick question: is this based off of Percy Jackson and the Olympians? You know, with Thalia the daughter of Zeus, the Greek gods in America, etc.? Because then, I think you should at least give credit where credit is due, otherwise it might be considered plagiarism. Even if you didn't copy it word for word, using ideas that are not yours without giving proper credit for them can be considered plagiarism. It might also refer to Thalia the muse...but that makes less sense.
Okay, I suppose. But for future reference, if you get so much of your idea from another piece of work, you should definitely give credit every time, and at the beginning, not the end. Because then, someone might call you out on it and it would look a little suspicious if you gave credit after it had been pointed out.
