Hey guys! So, I'm writing a story, and I was wondering if it would actually appeal to anyone. Here's the basic summary: Characters: Jenny Williams Axel Mahoney Xenia Jentas Axx Nemere
Story: Basically, Jenny and Axel are best friends, and they have the same dream: They're stranded on an island, but it's not actually them. (It's confusing.) Then, the people that they became in the dream end up coming to life. There's some drama between the four of them, and there are a lot of strange twists.
Would you like that kind of story? And also, if you want, I could post some of it. Thanks!
The best thing about a book like this, you make the rules. Can the person in the dream become real life? If the dream dies do they die? If the real person dies, and his dream ends, what happens to the other man in the dream? I look forward to seeing how you develeop this idea, please post some soon.
Here's the beginning: It's been two and a half years since I've been stuck on this island. I've decided to name it Axx Island, after my best friend. My name is Xenia. I'm 12. When I was 9, my parents told me we were going somewhere. They died, along with Axx, when the plane crashed. I was the only survivor.
I never found out where we were going, but I think it has something to do with my powers. I can read minds. I found out when the plane crashed. I heard my parents voices, saying âWhere's Xenia?â and stuuf like that. But when I looked at them, they're mouhs weren't moving. I got so mad at the pilot once they died. Of course, it didn't really matter, because he was already dead.
Then, two and a half years later, things changed. I was just sitting around, missing everyone when I heard someone's thoughts. I heard, âI wonder if anyone else is here...â I looked around, but I didn't see anyone.
Then, I heard screaming. Happy screaming. I was pretty sure it wasn't their thoughts. I looked around again, and I saw Axx. I screamed too. I ran up to to him and hugged him. âI thought you were dead!â I said, âWhere have you been?â âWell,â he said, âI'm not really sure. I just woke up.â
âOh,â I said, âWhere we we going, anyway? Before the plane crashed.â âHawaii,â he said. âReally?â I asked, âI thought it had something to do with my powers.â âYou have powers?â he asked, âMe too! I can teleport and run really fast.â âI can read minds,â I said. âCool!â he said.
âWait,â I said. âIf you can teleport, why are you still here?â I asked. âI wanted to see if anyone else was here.â âWell I'm glad you did,â I said.
I think Axx's second power should be different, because whats the point of running really fast when you could teleport to where you want to go? A little background on how she survived so long would be nice. Like being able to read the animal's mind to determine its location when hunting or something. It would also be cool if the mind reading power was more than just their current thoughts, but seeing their memories and such too. Nice beginning, keep writing.
The story moves along extremely fast, giving little attention to details. You just gace us the characters history of the entire pre-story climax, in under 4 sentences. Something many authors take a few pages to describe to set up the current story.
I'd like to see a bit more time put into this besides just occassional quick updating with little planning like you seem to do. It's a good story, and I think we'd all love to see it live up to a greater potential
âDo you wanna go home?â he asked. âYes!â I said. âOkay. I hope nothing bad happens when I teleport,â he said. âWait... what?â I asked. I saw a flash of light.
When I woke up, I was on the ground. âOops,â Axx said, âI guess it doesn't really work out that well with two people.â âREALLY?!â I said. âWELL SORRY FOR LIVING,â he said, laughing. âHey,â I said, âDo you know where our luggage is?â âOf course,â he said. â.........Well?â I said. âWell what?â he asked. "CAN YOU GET OUR LUGGAGE?â I asked. âSure,â he said. He disappeared. A few minutes later, he came back. âI got our luggage...â he said, âkinda.â It was all burnt. âHey, what's on your neck?â I asked. âHuh?â he said. âLook,â I said, pointing to a mirror. When he walked over to it, it looked like he was about to pass out. âOh my gosh...â I said, âI don't think we were the only ones on that island...â
