Right, I began writing this for the short story contest, but I didn't manage to keep it short (or finish it yet), so I'll put it here instead.
Prologue:
It had now been a year since Bob started his training as a ninja. None of his friends believed he'd get accepted, and to be honest, neither did he when he first went to the dojo. He remembered what they had said. "Don't be silly, Bob. A squirrel can't be a ninja, they'll never accept you. You don't even speak human!". But when he arrived at the dojo, the master immediately began the training. The language was not a problem, because the exercises were quite self-explanatory. For the past year, he had been taught to dodge brooms and other weapons, and he had been trained to escape when chased by his fellow ninja students. Occasionally, the master would put traps or other obstacles in the training grounds, for him to avoid. The master was obviously very dedicated to the training. Whenever Bob was taught to dodge incoming blows from brooms or other weapons, he was amazed at how good of an actor the master was. Sometimes it really looked like the master did want to hurt him. Now, after having trained for a year, Bob thought it was time for him to put his skills to the test.
Chapter 1:
He grabbed his belongings and journeyed home, to his family and friends. When he arrived, however, he did not find the large tree he once called home, nor any of its neighbours. They had all been cut down, and all that remained were the stumps. Determined to find the culprits, he searched the area for clues. After hours of searching, he was ready to give up. Then he saw it. Lying next to one of the stumps was a single black feather. The ravens did this. Perhaps by finding the ravens, he could also find his family, or avenge them, if it was already too late. But before he did this, he needed to rest, so he laid down on the stump of the tree he once lived in. It no longer felt like home, and he knew this was never going to change. It was as if his past had been erased. He didn't sleep well that night, and when he awoke the next morning, his thirst for vengeance had only increased. It was time to find the ravens.
In daylight, he could see that not all of the forest was gone. The deeper part of the forest was still standing. The very part he was told to stay away from as a child, and no doubt the very part where the ravens had their nest. He knew he'd need to move quickly once there, and decided to only bring the necessary. He grabbed his hanbo, a staff used in several martial arts styles, and a small piece of bread. The ninjas obviously did not have any squirrel-sized staves, and Bob was instead using half a chopstick, thrown to him by one of his fellow students at lunch. Before he departed, he meditated for a brief moment, to clear his mind, allowing him to stay focused and aware of his surroundings on his quest.
When all this was done, Bob departed. When he arrived at the forest, he climbed up the largest tree he could find, and looked around, trying to find the ravens' nest. He did not see it, but he did, however, spot a rabbit out on a morning walk. He quickly climbed down the tree and headed towards the rabbit.
"You there! Rabbit!" Bob yelled. "Do you know where the ravens live?"
The rabbit jumped in fear, as it didn't notice Bob approaching.
"W-whoa, what's with the yelling?" the rabbit said nervously. "For a moment there I thought you were a fox. But foxes don't yell, do they? I've never heard a fox yell. I've never met a fox, but I don't think they'd yell."
"Do you know where the ravens live?" Bob repeated, obviously irritated.
"Nah, I stay away from those guys," the rabbit said. "They look kinda shady. Like they're up to no good. You know who might know, though? The owl! The owl knows a lot."
"Where do I find the owl, then?" Bob asked.
"Oh, I don't know that," the rabbit answered. "But I'm pretty sure it's in a tree. He can fly, you know."
At this point, all Bob wanted to do was punch the rabbit in the face, but he managed to resist the urge.
"So all I need to do is find a tree?" Bob said. "One specific tree in a big forest?"
"Yup! That should work!" the rabbit said with a big smile. "Good luck with that!"
"If I had the time and energy to search every tree in the forest for someone, don't you think I would have done it to find the ravens?!" Bob yelled.
"That's a good plan." the rabbit said. "No offense, buddy, but if you already had a good plan, it was sort of stupid to ask for help."
Bob was worried that he might not have the willpower to resist punching the rabbit if he said another word, so at this point he decided to just walk away.
"Oh! Wait! Mr. Squirrel!" the rabbit yelled as Bob walked away. "I got a great idea, Mr. Squirrel! Mr. Squirrel, are you listening? Hello?"
Even though Bob wanted nothing more than to just walk away from the rabbit, he could tell from enthusiasm in the rabbit's voice that the rabbit really had faith in this idea. Even though he regretted every step he took, he walked back to the rabbit.
"Please, PLEASE don't say something stupid," Bob said.
"Oh no, I would never do that, buddy!" the rabbit said with a big, stupid smile on his face. "I'm actually pretty clever for a rabbit. Did you know I once invented a hole."
"A hole?" Bob said, and he immediately regretted it.
"Why, yes, but it's no normal hole, you see!" the rabbit began to explain, with great enthusiasm. "You see, some holes are for living in and some holes are for hiding things in. But I invented whole different kind of hole. You see, this hole is for your... You know... The brown stuff."
The rabbit tried his best to hold back a laugh.
"Yes, I get it." Bob said. "It's for your poop."
The moment Bob said that, the rabbit broke out in such intense laughter, Bob almost worried he'd choke. After a minute or two, the rabbit had finally calmed down enough to continue talking.
"Yes, anyways, you do your thing in the hole, and then you just cover it up." the rabbit said. "That way it wont stink up the neighbourhood."
"Please, just tell me how to find the ravens." Bob said. "I can't take this any more."
"Oh... Right, the ravens... I, uh... I kinda forgot." The rabbit said. "Wait, wait, no, I got it! Right, so ravens, they like shiny things, right? Well, earlier, I found this weird shiny thing with a human face on it. Not a real face though, it was sort of drawn on the shiny thing, only it was a part of the shiny thing. Only it w-"
"So I can use the shiny thing as a bait and just wait for a raven to arrive," Bob interrupted, as he suspected that the rabbit could've just gone on forever about the shiny thing he found. "That's actually a good idea. Can I please have the shiny thing?"
"Oh, no, that's not possible, you see" the rabbit said. "I lost it."
"Where did you lose it?" Bob asked, worrying that even with his ninja training, he would not be able to avoid resorting to violence much longer.
"It must be nearby." the rabbit answered. "I was actually looking for it when you showed up. And yelled. And scared me. You're awfully rude, you know that?"
"Let's just find that shiny thing." Bob said, and began searching.
To be continued. (Hopefully)
It was kind of late when I wrote this, and chances are it's full of typos and other oopsies.
