As I like street art and graffiti,I have decided to make a story (currently unfinished)even though I haven't finished it yet heres the start: Paint here
Thomas was lying dead still on the floor as a gang of graffiti artistâs barged into his garage and started shouting DREMOXL! They had heard that Thomas had bought a marker for school-the thing Thomas didnât realise was that the marker was the last pen they will have in stock for 6 monthâs. Thomas grabbed his pellet gun and showed them the door-along with the marker. Tom had saved up his pocket money for weeks to buy this, now itâs gone. Thomas looked around the parks, lamppostâs and mostly round the back of his local shops. His research was focused on the tag âdremoXLâ- this was the tag that the gang of graffiti artistâs tagged. He studied the way they drew it, the ink type and how much theyâd tagged it there. Thomas logged on to his laptop and typed in dremoXL. He clicked the first result, waiting, hoping it was the good news-and then it came up. A photo of 4 teenagers covered in black clothes was on the website along with itemâs to buy. Thomas worked out a plan for himself and how to get these masked villains, but there was one thing obstructing him-he had the urge to start graffiti, build a crew, get equipment. So had to choose between two optionâs-catch them (may end up lying beaten up a bit on the floor) or overlap their tag. Thomas had to choose his tag first loads of possible names; itâs just that most of them had been taken though they hadnât really been recognised. His problems were also that third door down from his house was a neighbourhood watch person. The next morning, at around 9âoâclock, Thomas woke up by the sound of police sirens and angry people. Once again, DREMOXL were part of it. It may not have SUPERB grammer but its just this.Remember,its NOT finished... what do you think?
Thomas was lying dead still on the floor as a gang of graffiti artist's barged into his garage and started shouting DREMOXL! They had heard that Thomas had bought a marker for school-the thing Thomas didn't realise was that the marker was the last pen they will have in stock for 6 month's. Thomas grabbed his pellet gun and showed them the door-along with the marker. Tom had saved up his pocket money for weeks to buy this, now it's gone. Thomas looked around the parks, lamppost's and mostly round the back of his local shops. His research was focused on the tag "DREMOXL"- this was the tag that the gang of graffiti artist's tagged. He studied the way they drew it, the ink type and how much they'd tagged it there. Thomas logged on to his laptop and typed in dremoXL. He clicked the first result, waiting, hoping it was the good news-and then it came up. A photo of 4 teenagers covered in black clothes was on the website along with item's to buy. Thomas worked out a plan for himself and how to get these masked villains, but there was one thing obstructing him-he had the urge to start graffiti, build a crew, get equipment. So had to choose between two option's-catch them (may end up lying beaten up a bit on the floor) or overlap their tag. Thomas had to choose his tag first loads of possible names; it's just that most of them had been taken though they hadn't really been recognised. His problems were also that third door down from his house was a neighbourhood watch person. The next morning, at around 9'o'clock, Thomas woke up by the sound of police sirens and angry people. Once again, DREMOXL were part of it.
You used word right?
Alright, now that I can read it. I'll tell you what I think in a minute.
Its a good start... You seem to use the word thomas a lot. really there is no way to stop this, but try to refrase the sentence. and to copy and paste, use notepad to get rid of those weird marks.
Hey hey hey. I blame notepad!!! i use word always. that was my first really one without word!!!! and plus, im a lazy typer. see? i dont begin with capitals. dont judge me!
[quote]It's just that people with that sort of grammar should not be telling people how to write a good sentence/quote]
And you shouldn't use this thread to talk about how anyone other than the OP writes, as it is the Chicken's thread. Just saying.
Anyways, I found the story very, very, very confusing. So basically, this is some sort of graffiti war, but the taggers use marker pens? And this "DREMOXL" group stole Thomas' marker pen, and he's trying to track them down?
