Well I've been writhing a story lately and I wanted some constructive criticism on it. It's based on a RPG I made. Just one warning, English is not exactly my mother language so there will inevitably the grammar/spelling mistake hear and there so bear with me .
 Planet Amord
Part 1: Introduction
All's fair in war. All is fair in the destruction of our race. All's fair in the blood shedding of an innocent. All's fair in total chaos... So when the world is divided. And both factions are pulled into a merciless war, of course drastic measures shall be used. And instead of negotiating there difference and compromising, their anger shall take the better of their reason and they end up almost waisting the planet. So in other words, they use the greatest weapon of mass destruction. The famous atomic bomb. And that night a thousand bombs lit up the sky, leaving a deadly mushroom like cloud that was forever engraved in my ancestors thoughts. Because as the leaders fearlessly launched the thousand and thousand of missiles they moronically forgot one little detail. The planet had know turned into a radioactive waste! And the citizens that were so foolishly forced into a idiotic war and blinded by all the propaganda screamed in terror as the flames of a post-apocalyptic planet slowly indulged their bodies and burned them to a crisp. Now some people knew were this war was heading and created a spaceship capable of sustaining life for years and years until a new planet can be found. And after thousands and thousands of years, planet Amord has been found....
This is what I got know part 2 will be coming soon. Enjoy! Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
This is what I got know part 2 will be coming soon. Enjoy! ÃÂ ÃÂ ÃÂ ÃÂ ÃÂ ÃÂ ÃÂ ÃÂ ÃÂ
I wrote that part without using some weird characters only a exclamation point at the end and it has the most A's. I bet the forums are glitching or something.
Yes, planet Amord had been found. It was in itself a new chance to live again in peace and harmony because it's colonization was for the human species a new hope to prosper again. Or so it may seem. A thousand years had passed since Amord has been colonized. And each new generation had been thought about the fall of Earth and the rise of Amord the home world of a new civilization, a new order. As a woke up and got dressed like any other day I noticed something strange. The house was empty and my parents didn't inform me about they're eccentric absences So as I got ready to go work a diminutive detail had caught my eye. A little letter had been left on the kitchen counter. "Dear Thomas Jargon, I'm writing you this letter to tell you that your parents are fine. They are in your old summer house near Albinos beach. Come over as soon as possible. We have lots to talk about. But all I can tell you now is that all you know about history and planet Amord is a lie. A clever lie to protect the citizens from the cold truth. Your friend"
I was confused, very, very confused. All these question started to pop up in my mind and I just sat down and thought. About the shear scope of the situation, about my life, about all my knowledge. Is all I know a lie? About my life itself. My reverie abruptly ended as the sound of a phone filled the silence of my house.....
I was wishing for this day Where I no longer have to stay All alone in this lifeless town Were everybody's a lown.
I am now finally free From these invisible shackles that were keeping me From reaching my hopes and dreams Who were then just a faint gleam.
But should I run away? In secrecy, leaving my loved ones to ponder About my whereabouts as I wonder Around the world, or should I just stay?
But then I shall be treated the same The sky will again gain a thick layer of gloom My hand shall again tremble in these shackles. I will have to suffer a great pain. And my hopes and dreams may never bloom
And as I a amble away Nostalgia will eventually find a way To pull me back to my horrid life Were I would have to face a great strife.
