AGS Steam Games

Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → "The Viking Raid" Original poem by thepyro222

6 4532
thepyro222
offline
thepyro222
2,150 posts
Peasant

The Viking Raid
~~

I clinch my sword in my hand,
The storm is pounding down,
We shove off from the old homeland,
Invading the Iris town,

The storm gives us a frightening guise,
Our wait is at an end,
Under dark, stormy skies,
Our onslaught they will not fend,

Finally we make for land,
Our hearts, hard as steel,
Blood will stain this golden sand,
We will have them kneel,


Our manic screams freeze their core,
They feel the sting of steel,
We have the strength of mighty Thor,
They will not beat our zeal,

The fight is long, and deadly intense,
They have fought us well,
We smashed through their best defense,
Of our victory, ages will tell,

The night breaks into day,
The dead rest in their shallow graves,
The storm clouds roll away,
We take our gold and slaves.

  • 6 Replies
Spyton
offline
Spyton
63 posts
Nomad

Tremendous work, It flows nicely, Describes the scene, It rhymes in ways that work. The only thing i can think of is

The dead rest in their shallow graves,


I dont believe the Vikings would of left their dead, or buried the people they killed, It kinda swayed the poem

Overall I vote a 7/10 for a Viking focused poem But when your going up against Beowulf what can you expect eh?
Masterforger
offline
Masterforger
1,824 posts
Peasant

Excellent.

Although the vikings would simply either roast the dead or leave them

Waste lots want lots

master565
offline
master565
4,104 posts
Nomad

Great poem, It makes me imagine a great image of what's going on in the story. The only problem i have is the line "Our onslaught they will not fend," It kind of brings me out of the poem

Masterforger
offline
Masterforger
1,824 posts
Peasant

No

Our onslaught they will not fend
it is old english. it means they will not stop the viking onslaught.
thepyro222
offline
thepyro222
2,150 posts
Peasant

The dead rest in their shallow graves,


I was hard pressed to find something I liked here, but what the symbolism was supposed to be is the bodies lying on the ground, all muddy and such. Remember, they were fighting through a storm.
thepyro222
offline
thepyro222
2,150 posts
Peasant

Hate to double post, but I've retooled the last stanza.

The night breaks into day,
the dead rest, pale and cold,
the storm clouds roll away,
we take our slave and gold.


I was also dissatisfied with that stanza, or else I wouldn't have changed it.
Showing 1-6 of 6