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murasaki9
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murasaki9
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Blacksmith

A short story thread. Compete to see whose short story is the best!
I'm the judge. He,he. See if you can write a short story that's better than mine!
Let's start:
Long and longer Still
Some time ago, a strange thing happened. No one knows where it occurred, nor when it transpired, nor how it came down. All they know is that it happened at all.
A man of unknown age, unknown lineage, and unknown background went and stood in a large, mowed field. He was tall and slender, or more accurately, thin. His eyes were large and deep, haunted. His lips were pale and stiffly put in a rigid line. He seemed ill taken by his experiences. He stared straight ahead at a tall dying tree in the distance. His eyes never blinked. He never moved a muscle.
The man stood longer still. No one knew how he got there, nor how long heâµd been there. No one had seen him get there. All they knew was that heâµd gotten there at all.
The man stood there through night and day, rain and sun. He spoke to no one and looked at no one. About sometime after the people noticed him standing still, everyone became interested in him. They came up to him and tried to talk to him.
" Who are You?" " What are You doing?" " How long have You been here?" " How long will You be here?"
He ignored them all. But one person asked him, " Why do You stand longer still?"
At that, he let out a deafening cry, as of great pain. Then, he fell on his face and never stood again.
Some say that he passed on. Others say he stood longer still. I say, even to this day, somewhere, somehow, he is still standing. He never fell. He stands long and longer still.

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murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

CalvinDultrey, this is definitely not the end! And yes! I'd love to see more entries, as I myself will be adding to the Shortz Storiez Placez soon as well. When I have more time that is.

Efan
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Efan
3,086 posts
Nomad

Suprise appearance from me. I'd just like to wonder where the heck all these good stories came from when we actually had a very well written/set out short story cotest -_-
Here's my story, probably not very good, I wrote it last year.

To be, or not to be?

You don't give a ****. Least of all about me. I hate the world. **** it, I say. **** it. I know you don't care, you told me your self. I thought- COULDN'T YOU JUST PRETEND TO CARE YOU *******!? I tried so, so hard to win your respect and love but all I got-
Who honestly cares? By the time you read this i'll be gone. My entrails splattered all over the tiles, gore dripping down the walls.

Because of you.

They say words can never hurt you but I know the people who believe that bull****. People like you.

You say such things to reconcile yourself with the fact that the words you speak, those cruel, cruel words are not destroying those that care so blindly: "I hate you". "You are not my son". "Get out".....

Merry Christmas *****.

____________________________________________________________________
That note. I honestly don't care whether whether it's read or not. Standing up here, on the edge of death. To be, or not to be. I don't believe in heaven anymore but I know why some people would. It's their way of consoling themselves into blissful, stupid ignorance before the bitter end. The wind rushes through my hair, the rain pelts my face. Such bleak weather. I'm glad to leave this.

But why have I not done it yet?

It's so easy. All I have to do is take one step and drop. Is it the survival instinct? but if my body has the need for survival then why do I do this? Screw that. i'm going to do it. I feel like a small child pushed to the front of the line for a terrifying roller-coaster. Do I run back to safety? Or do I prove to my friends that i'm brave enough?

I take a step forwards. I look up at the sky. And I- wait. What?! WHY AM I DOING THIS?! I don't know. If life is so meaningless then why can I not confront my problems without quaking with fear? I have no love nor respect from my family and vice versa, so would they really care about what they would see as a cry for attention?

....

For the moment I simply have to continue living. Believing in such despair shall bring nothing.
But the knowledge that, if I could change one persons life for the better by spreading common sense,logic and wisdom could change my perception of this flawed,imperfect world for a long time.

I realize now that everyone has potential, and that it's the job of people to get out there and shape it.
I was once depressed at the pointlessness of humanity, but then I realized: persevere in life. Endure; who knows? it might be fun.
________________________________________________________________
Yup, that's it. Hope you enjoyed it.

murasaki9
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murasaki9
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Blacksmith

Efan, that story is very depressing. I like it thought, SURPRISE!
By the way, if you want good stories, this is the thread to be.
Since, you ask, to be or not to be. He, he. Partly kidding there!
Thanks for your story. I look forward to your contributions in
the future.

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Here are a few I wrote on the dates stated. Just a few experiments.

Misplaced Advice 05/07/11
I remember a certain acquaintance. He seemed to bear no faults in the eyes of his worshiping friends. And indeed, he did appear to lead a flawless life. However, I made a keen observation of him. Despite his perfection, I noticed an endless trend about him. If this trend alone was considered perfection embodied, I didn't know what perfection was.
Whenever he was at a party, he would imbibe until he was confident enough to stand up and say, â³ One thing I never respect in a man is his outright display of carelessness when it comes to alcohol.â¶
He was an avid smoker and perhaps lit up fifty times a day. Even then, he didn't let his voice idle. Once he told a friend, â³ In these difficult times You do what You have to do. And smokingâµs not one of them.â¶
he was a great socializer and was very popular with the ladies. While surrounded by adoring faces, he never missed the chance to say loudly, ' When it comes to women and a man canâµt make up his mind, heâµd better stay home.ⶠThis is just to name a few of his wise sayings.
He took to many wayward activities, yet never did he make excuse for them. However, he didn't stop the pearls of wisdom that would flow from his mouth at wanton times.
Of course, as time would have it, his life soon drew to a close. But, in the most untimely way possible. Heâµd had a hand in his own death. When I heard about it, I wasn't sorry, but the, I wasn't triumphant. Iâµd hardly known him. All I had known was his countless misplaced advice. I found myself wondering, that if it were at all possible for him to still speak, what wise advice heâµd give on suicide.

Just Listen 05/07/11
Martha stared at the boy. He didn't look at her. His eyes were on the ground before him. She felt a growing sense of resentment in her heart.
â³ Lake, why didn't You ever tell me? Why didn't You come to me?â¶
The police officer left the room slowly. The boy remained still in his chair. His head was bowed and his hair hung over his eyes. Martha bent down.
â³ Lake, You can tell me,ⶠMartha said encouragingly. â³ Why didn't You come to me?â¶
The boy clenched his hands and brushed at the hair in his eyes with a measure of frustration. He was still silent.
â³ Lake, please.â¶
The boy lifted his head. He had clear, grey eyes which seemed to be condemning the very faces it stared at. He had dark brown hair which was quite long, hanging over his eyes and coming down to his shoulders in the back. He looked to be a bout sixteen years old.
â³ You woundâµt listen. You never listen,ⶠhe finally said in a choked voice. â³ I tried! A long time ago! But-â¶
Martha stopped him there. His eyes met her own. His face was streaming with tears by now. She noticed something in his eye. A deep unfathomable look of pain. Suddenly, she understood.
â³ Lake, Iâµm sorry. Continue,ⶠMartha said quickly.
The boy covered his face and struggled to contain himself. â³ I have nothing else to say.â¶
Martha embraced Lake and kissed his head. He continued to cry softly. And while she sat with him, Martha listened, even though he had nothing more to say. Suddenly, even his sobs alone were precious to her.

The Apocalypse 05/08/11
The Apocalypse. Some say it will come with Fire. Others say it will come with Water. Still others say it will come with global destruction.
The Doomsayers loudly exclaim that it could crash upon us all any day now.
The Naysayers also loudly exclaim that it will never come.
The Gainsayers disagree with the Naysayers. Saying instead that the Apocalypse has already passed and therefore, will not come.
The Soothsayers struggle daily to provide us all with accurate details as to the exact time and date of its arrival.
However, it stands to reason that although no one can pinpoint its arrival, nor the time, nor the year, nor the month, nor the day, it will still come.
The apocalypse has been coming ever since the Dawn of Time. Now, itâµs inevitable.
It has not already passed, as the gainsayers would have You believe.
It is an event so great, so terrible, so horrible, so wonderful as to be worthy of the title: Apocalypse.
The Apocalypse is the ending of this World, as we know it. No one who is yet alive will survive it and simultaneously not know that it happened.
It should be a sobering thing to wake up everyday and find your life the same as it always has been. Because, one day, that will all change. And no Human Being can withstand the Force of the Deity.

Which would You choose? 05/10/11
â³ So, Mirari, which would You choose?ⶠAurthur asked with a curious grin. â³ The blond or the brunette?â¶
Mirari, a tall, stern looking boy of seventeen, stared down at his nine year old cousin. Aurthur grinned again.
â³ Well?â¶
Mirari tussled Aurthurâµs brown hair and avoided the boyâµs intense blue eyed gaze.
â³ I donâµt know, buddy."
â³ Think about it, then."
Mirari frowned and looked away. He blinked his grey eyes. He was thinking hard. What did it matter which girl heâµd choose?
He was a pretty lucky kid. Aside from the fact that:; his father had left his mother when he was nine; his eldest brother had committed suicide thereafter; he hadn't been invited to his sisterâµs wedding; and even as young as he was, he was on his own. He was alright.
Sure, his life was messed up. Sure, his life was broken, but heâµd coped through every minute of it. Heâµd struggled to maintain his sanity all along. He was proud that heâµd succeeded.
â³ Well, little buddy, what does it matter?â¶
â³ You choose the one You like best.â¶
â³ Does it matter?â¶
â³ Nope.â¶
Mirari sighed. All his decisions were based on his experience good or bad. But, if this decision didn't matter...
â³ In that case, Iâµd chosen neither.â¶
ⳠI forgot to mention the brown!ⶠAurthur said triumphantly.

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

i love your stories. they are very honest and forthcoming. keep up the good work

deathopper
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deathopper
1,564 posts
Nomad

Total Pwnage

"The media portrays gamers as lazy, lifeless losers who can't land on a date. We all know that these are all lies. They think that by playing video games we are trying to forget the problems in our lives. What they don't know is the war that we gamers have to face against the infantile dieses of n00bism! And here in GCC, The Gamers Community College, we will train gamers alike to win the war against n00bs!" A round of applause roared across the room.

"Thank you, thank you! As most of you know I'm Dean McCauley, but I'm more known by my username McMuffinator." Another, much smaller, applause could have been heard. "The College is now incorporating a new method to educate gamers on the art of pwning. The College shall be divided into three parts, The Veteran's Community, The Casual's Community and N00b rehabilitation center...."

The Dean continued his speech. While me and Joe "TheLolzer" O'Brian were bored to death. We remembered about last year our first year in this school and pondered about this new year. Will it be good? Will it be fun? Will I get another girlfirend after Sara? I was pulled out of my reverie when the Dean strarted to take about n00bism in a more indepth fashion. I eventually got innerved by the college's blown-out-of-proportion ideals about the n00b epidemic. Yes, it's a seriouse probleme, but it's annoying to hear about it every five minutes.

I was glad I was in the VC, The Veteranâs Community. If I remembered correctly they usually focused on the basics of pwning and sensibilize them about n00bs in the CC, The Casual's Community. In the VC we will learn more about the art of pwning with more advanced tricks, much more advanced tricks wich will take gaming into a much more hardcore level.

When the speech was done me and Joe went to our dorm rooms. Most of the students were either unpacking theyâre stuff and game console or playing some FPS games.
"I hate these kinds of games. They have no replay value. You just have too shoot everything in sight!" I told me friend. "I beg to differ." He replies and the debate ensued.
After lunch, the lessons started. Our first lesson was about analyzing n00b behaviour to counter-attack them and eventually conquer them, but first we needed to talk about our n00b experiences. After a few students talked a paculier gamer started talking. "I remember once on Mario Kart Wii this guy how wa-""Wait, wait, Mario Kart Wii?" cut the professor. "Yes, Mario Kart Wii. What about it?" replied the student. "Huh, are you sure you're supposed to be in the VC? Isn't the CC your area of learning?" continued the teacher."No, I'm supposed to be here. Wait. Now I get it. You think I'm casual because I play on the Wii?" A chuckle croosed the classroom. "Hey you two help me get this guy out of here. He's confused."

Me and Joe got up and started to push the student. He shoved me and started to scream at me. "Hey! Don't grab me! Let go of me! I'm supposed to be here!" More students came to my aid. After a few minutes the student got kicked out. I wasn't proud of what I did and I agreed with him, but oh well.


Here's a short story I pulled out of boredom. I had more ideas, but stopped here because of laziness and because I'm tired. I could write more if people like it.

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

it's a great story but needs more of a plot. plus, it's a bit confusing

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Thank you Shelly sis, for your kind remark about my stories. I will write more!
@deathhopper, thank you for your story. Shailajaisrani is right though, it is confusing and could use more of a plot. But I understand that you did it out of boredom and that you are lazy and that you were tired. Thanks anyways! Peace out, everyone!

deathopper
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deathopper
1,564 posts
Nomad

That was like the first chapter. So I'm guessing I'll make a another one to clear some things up. Thanks for the advice.

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Thank you deathhopper, you're always welcome here! I can't
wait for your other chapter.

deathopper
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deathopper
1,564 posts
Nomad

I just wanted to say that my story Total Pwnage is cancealed. Why? Writers block.Instead I'll be writing another story in wich I'm almost done with. Some critisism would be apreciated.

deathopper
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deathopper
1,564 posts
Nomad

"I hate life. Itâs a useless peace of rubbish. Itâs a hard kick in the stomach for the hard working man, the people who spend hours a day working their buts of for a proper life, people like me. I have no purpose in this world, but don't say I didn't try. I made friends, I worked for my life, and I did everything to try to be happy. I build my living with my own sweat, my own time, my own energy and my own youth, but a small distraction, a small mistake, a minuscule second of deconcentration was enough for my existence and all my life effort to tumble down on me. And it was what made me fall into the dark and endless abyss depression.

As for me so called friends. They didn't show an ounce of regret when they were partying and I was sobbing alone at home, contemplating a sweat suicide that would reveal me from my pain and stress. I was a pack-mule trying to re-build my life from the broken pieces of my successful past. I decided to pull the trigger. I don't care if I will have to leave my wife and my only child. Screw them! I paid for them, I put food on the table, I got them out of debt and I wasn't remunerated. They were blissfully playing not showing a care in the world while I cried myself to sleep every night. I will pull the trigger. I will again be happy.
Goodbye cruel world.

Jason Marston, June 17, 1997â

I finished re-reading my father's last letter. It has been 10 years since he committed suicide. I was five at the time. Tears dripped down my dry, miserable face. A coward, he was a coward! He couldn't handle life. He's also a filthy liar not asking us for any help. He just kept the illusion of happiness with is fake smiles, his fake laughter and when the pressure was too much he cracked! He did the most cowardly thing imaginable. He left mother and me, his only son, without a cent to live in poverty in the shelter of our grandparents. I wanted to scream, I wanted to scream out my rage, my anger, my disappointments. I was so feed up with this life.

I did what I usually do in this state of anger. I took a long walk down the river. The night breeze gracefully tickling my face, the moonlight caressing the stagnant water reflecting its shine helps me forget my problems and enjoy the beauty of life. Something my father never realized. How meaningful nature is to the human mind. How meaningful life is to the world.

After a long hour at the docks and pier, I walked down an old alley, the only way back home. Things seemed unusual. Everything was darker. Everything seemed more sinister. Ash surrounded me. Probably from a fire, but more and more started to appeared. Thousands and thousands of diminutive bits of ash blocked my view and lightly burnt my face.

The ash didn't seem to be carried by the wind. In fact there wasn't any wind. It seemed that a more powerful force was present, an imposing force so intimidating, so inhuman was moving it on its own. A strange feeling grew inside of me. It seemed like this was completing me. A long lost instinct I had newly discovered.

To my great astonishment the ash seemed to be concentrated in one point. A form could have been distinguished, a humanoid form. Things became clearer. The ash became more condensed. A realistic hand could be seen. Then feet appeared, than a torso and so on until a human was visible in front of me. This thing looked like a man, around sixty of age. Wearing a black coat, black shoes and pants, he had a white beard and white hair barely visible because of the hood he was wearing on his head. His cold black eyes were filled with malice. He was a dweller of the night. This creature walked towards me in a nonchalant manner leaving a thick trail of ash behind him. His crisp lips opened and a deep rough voice could have been heard.

"Hello Charles, very nice to finally meet you!" Surprised by the fact this creature knew my name I couldn't help but ask him "Who are you? How do you know me?" I was slowly walking away from this demon preparing myself to flee. "Oh, I now a lot about you. I've been spying on you for a while. And I wouldn't try to run away if I were you."
Suddenly his hands griped on my shoulders. His hand was so cold, his finger-tips so sharp and he almost looked pleased. His nail penetraded my flesh almost like if he was entering a sort of poison in me. Blood was gushing down my arm. He finally let go of his grip, but the damage has already been done. I felt so weak, but the only thing that came to mind was to run.

My heart was pounding. I was running as fast as I could. My only goal is escape. Visions were flashing in my mind each about me laying on the floor dead in a gruesome manner. I was confused. What was happening? Why me? I eventually collapsed on the ground. This poison was talking effect. I was struggling to get up. I couldn't move. A pool of blood surrounded me. The man stood beside me. Handing out is cold, pale, livid hand. "I'm what most people call Satan, the Devil, the Anti-Christ, but you can call me the Friend."

My eyes were filled with terror. Dripping tears on the ground, I hoped I would just live long enough to see my mother once more. The Devil came up to me. He looked amused. Almost like this sadistic torture was entertaining him. I lost all notion of time. It seemed like I was on the ground weeping for hours while the Devil kept this evil and sadistic grin on his face still holding out his hand. Things became blurrier. Satan's imposing figure became a random mash of shapes and colors. Suddenly everything faded to black.


Here's the story I've been working on.

shailajaisrani
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shailajaisrani
274 posts
Nomad

i love it!! it's really good and i loved the emotion you put into it. but i have to say, it is a bit confusing. with the letter and then the ash and all, but i really liked it. you're a great writer, just have to explain what's happening.

-shelly

deathopper
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deathopper
1,564 posts
Nomad

Should I explain it in the story or should I just explain it now?
Anyway part 2 is in writing process.

murasaki9
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murasaki9
1,388 posts
Blacksmith

Hey Death, that's the most heartrending story I've read in a long time.
Oddly, I enjoyed it. It's too close to my heart.

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