Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → Random Movie Help!

I apologize if this may be considered spam or is in the wrong community forum, and you can lock it if need be...
but currently me and my 2 friends are in a competition as to who can create the funniest and most random movie ever...it's them versus me and I simply cannot be as random as those two...so i've come here in hopes for some help in writing it...

Here's what they have created (and thus my competition)

*AHEM*
They'll never find it, they have to follow a series of cryptic clues in order to just find the map.
Then they'll have to rub the blood of a virgin on the map to find another clue where the second map is hidden.
And make a trip to Antarctica with a pure blooded mousepossum to sacrifice to Nabulu to find the third.
The third map will lead them to a tattoo on the back of Eric Sacks that is in Latin Japanese that reveals the location of a key to a box and hidden inside that box is another key to a dresser drawer in Tajikistan.
And there, they will find...nothing, for the real map had already been destroyed, so they are forced to explore the Amazon in hopes of finding the tomb of Ukunuma. He will reveal the locations of three of the four corners of the real map, and the journey begins again...*end of part 1*
*part 2* They find out that the fourth corner was eaten by the rare flying Vietnamese spider shark which only lives in Newfoundland. They must find this shark's nest hidden in the tallest tree on the island and solve a puzzle before encountering the shark and then they must duel for the final piece. This sparks hatred between Vietnam, Canada, and the US, and WW3 breaks out.
Canada has an army?
Mounties on mooseback
Clever bast*rds. They find the second map in the calamity, but there is one problem, it was taken by Taliban in Kazakhstan and they are led by the spider shark's son whom protected the first piece, all hell is brought out when Luxembourg gets involved. Then Rhode Island secedes from the US and joins the Anti-Allied forces. Needless to say, the US may be screwed.
Then Liechtenstein, as a country, is airlifted by 100000 helicopters and put exactly where Rhode Island was, thus replacing the state with a powerful country filled with bloodlust-filled Liechtensteinites.
Where did Rhode Island go?
I assumed when they seceded, we took a giant pair of scissors and cut them away from the states and allowed them to float across the ocean to Europe
After WW3 ends with the treated of Newfoundland-Sri Lanka, the Taliban do not relinquish the map, but they give up the information in Braille. After 12 years of researching, they find the location of the third map...Neptune!
On Neptune, they find that the map has already been stolen by the vengeful great-nephew of the Vietnamese Spider Sharks grandson's best friend. A clue is left behind pointing them towards a small, metal box hidden on the spire of the Empire State Building
however, the back-in-the-US-but-still-bitter Rhode Islanders had destroyed the entire city of New York in a mass suicide bombing, one survivor had caught the box and realized the importance and taken it back to his house, that man also turned out to be...Tyler Prich.
But when Tyler Prich returned home, he saw his mortal enemy, Matt Diamond, sitting in his room. A mortal battle broke out between the two!
This brought on World War 4, between the Russians, Brazil, and Fiji. Fiji was a strong supporter of remaining true to not showering, and after young Matthew's defeat, he escaped with half of the map. They were unbelievably angry and unleashed their nuclear weapons on Haiti.
Once Haiti was nuked, they were no longer able to do anything so they asked Hungary and Turkey to attack Fiji for them.
Once again, the map was lost in the Calamity. The now old and decrepit Tyler Prich had given his half of the map to the United Nations in hopes of ending the century long war, but to no avail, especially since Diamond was assassinated by every single Fijian and no one knows the whereabouts of the other half. The ancestors of the original searchers were to give one more lifetime to the search in hopes of one day being able to reach the third map, but then, the Vietnamese Spider Sharks unite, and it is World War 4.5. *a large footnote to the still going on World War 4*
The Spider Sharks combine together to form a gigantic, singular monstrosity that destroys Beijing and Singapore for absolutely no reason. This begins the Chinese involvement in the war, which causes even more chaos.
When the Chinese join the fight, the entire world falls into chaos, Rhode Island has re-seceded along with Vermont, who hitched up with the spider sharks and effectively destroyed New Zealand by using a hammer. BUT, a development! The other half of the map, was found by the Uzbekistan government, and they decided to choose the side of tiger sharks, creating a three team world wide war. US allies, Anti-Allied forces, and, for some reason, Argentina by themselves.
Argentina, obviously enraged by the fact that they are alone, create a gigantic magnetic device that collects all the worlds weapons and Argentina becomes the world's leading dictatorship.
Until a young group of Argentinians lead by Pablo Jose Gonzalez Jagger lead a rebellion and turn the magnet to reverse and launch the weapons to space, now........ aliens are here. *and thats the end of part three*
Now onto the next twenty three parts...
TO BE CONTINUED

so yeah...not quite sure how to go about making this by myself...
so i'll start it

There once was a boy named Randy