I greet you, friend, in a friendly manner. For that is how one friend greets another, wouldn't you agree my friend? Friend, this is a most fortunate time in your youthful life. A turning point if you will. Why you ask me? Why! Because you have stumbled across a man who clearly fits the bill of madcap insanity of the Mentally Hilarious Order. A man who despite being as likely to throw you just to see if he can trust you at all as he is to challenge you to chess, has taken it upon himself to become the double lived servant of the people.
Now I (and many of my other colleagues) will treat you to a wide variety of creations and performances of the finely hon thespian styles.
Now *cracks knuckles* to quote Bad Boys, "this **** just got real".
*Disclaimer* These performances were not designed to distract you as we insert a tracking microchip into your skull. Definitely not.
*Disclaimer for idiots* Using your brain is a requirement. To quote the Far Side panel "no brains no service".
*Disclaimer for critics* "Go ahead. Make my day."
*Disclaimer for the paranoid* Don't worry, we aren't out to get you, but that satellite/alien/guy in a suit is.
*Disclaimer for Moderators* I can always pay you double if you don't agree with my methods.
I'm an incredibly lazy person. I just feel the need to say this to reaffirm what I think.
What I hate the most about this laziness is that I can't fix myself. I procrastinate. It's not like there's gonna be some magic cure. This is something I need to fix myself.
I hate the way that I feel sorry for all the people in the world who struggle to merely take their next breath, yet I do nothing to help. so many of us do nothing. I'm a hypocrite. Perhaps we all are.
How can I say that I am sorry, when I don't even try? I must not truly feel sorrow for the poor unfortunates of the world.
Perhaps...
Perhaps I need to do what we all set out to do in life. Succeed. If I become successful it would be so much easier to improve the lives of others. But I can't truly predict my outlook on the lives of others once I become successful? I might become another uncaring ******* in an uncaring world.
As always with my self discussions, I end it with a pathetic 'we'll have to wait and see'. Because I never finish things. I can't remember 100% completing something in my life.
I don't know whether I am too young, naive or merely foolish to understand my life and who I am.
I am unoriginal, I think. We are all the same species, there have and will be trillions of us. So with that thought, who's to say there aren't people exactly like us? Who had all the same thoughts, ides and ideals? That thought, like most of mine, has a depressing aspect. There could be utterly perfect friends, partners, confidants, jobs out there. But in the future or past. I would dearly love to be reincarnated however I wish as whoever I want. But such egotistical wants are ridiculous.
We all wish to have control over something. But truly, no one has any.
I don't quite know what I believe anymore. My thoughts are grey. My emotions are grey. I'm not even sad. I want to feel something but I just sit here typing, emotionless. Emotions are perhaps the least labeled in life, because they are the least understood.
My philosophies of life, the universe and everything have greatly differed from my parents over the years. This is part of being a teenager I suppose. I try not to talk about certain aspects of my philosophy with people because it always ends up with someone being upset at me. Just because I donât think there is any meaning in life. So what? That doesnât mean Iâm a depressive who doesnât want to do anything just because thereâs no point in the greater picture. Appeasing my instincts, basic needs, and slightly more complicated needs is what keeps me going. Basically, the want for fun and excitement.
I told my father the other day that there was no point in marriage other than symbolism and benefits from the government. He got slightly angry and told me thatâs bull****. Then he told me that marriage was a way of showing commitment and love to the partner. And I said âyes, exactly, symbolismâ. Iâm not quite sure as to whether he understood my reasoning. Itâs not like I have no intention to get married. Why, whatâs the point in having a non religious commitment ceremony other then the two things mentioned above? All a religious marriage does is add the churches control. Oh, and the feeling that âGodâ now watches over you as husband and wife. Slightly creepy...
Ponderous pondering. I ponder as to whether I should ponder continuing to ponder to ponder to ponder.
I know not where this road is taking me, just that I am not at the stages of reflection. My life happens in chapters, carved into stone by many authors. Different styles and fonts, different philosophies and beliefs.
Alas, it seems that you and I will have to wait a while. The internet is a distraction for me right now. This needs to stop. At least for a short time. The uncomfortable truth is that I should cut myself off completely...
Things are chugging along, yet my mind seems only vaguely aware, I'm surrounded by windows, tinted beige and grey.
I've made a couple of new friends, they give me a glimmer of hope, yet echoes of the past stir in ones memory, like moths to a warm bright light.
I'm a hormone ravaged, woman obsessed, lack-muscled, underachieving male. I like fast cars and good food, extreme sports and calm strolls, I love to walk my dog, meditate, and run long distance. I read good books of many genres, play games of different skills.
Life is a game you never win, I'm going for the high-score.
gawddammit, I do believe I've started pondering! Well, screaming out my ideas and ideals to a loyal one man crowd.
I've had enough, it's time to stop. I'm sick of waking up every morning, exhausted, and weak. I'm tired of being stressed and afraid of school, not wanting to sleep at night to prolong my freedom. I'm sick of convincing myself that I have no chance with anyone, faltering at every chance. Most of all, I'm sick of being weak of mind, will and body. This must change.
Step one has been trying out for a boxing club, but I need dedication, something I'm out of practice with. Irrelevant, it's happening whether I like it or not. Step two: I'm also going to get my dad to drop my dog of at my school at the end of each day, for his health and mine, I have been neglecting him of late, which he doesn't deserve. Step three: I'm going to try really hard, and ask the teachers questions about everything, screw being teased, screw the teachers annoyance, I have hearing problems, and I shouldn't be afraid to get help. Step four: If I have an issue with school work, I'm telling my dad about it, because I know he'll help me. I'm glad to have the reassurance of his being there. Step five: I'm going to prove myself wrong. I'm the only true enemy in my life.
