This is a work in progress! It is not yet compleat and i understand that it has many spelling mistakes! Please not comment on them, I want feedback on the begining on the story, not the spelling! Other than that, be as brutally honest as you must!
Natheiel's Game
Prolouge "This would be the hardest part," the thought flickered through his head as he stood before the door, "Always this is the hardest part." A burning, that signaled that tears were near, had started in his eyes as he extended his hand to press it flat against the dark, heavy wood of the door, feeling the power that it held vibrate up his arm. He swallowed and stepped closer so that his body almost reasted against the door. He felt tired, so, so tired. This door could end this, if he could bring himself to step through it. He let himself lean against the door, his hand pressed between his heart and it. His other hand, his left, trailed over the wood, across the hinges, and into nothingness. A harsh laugh barked from his throat, the door, as he had already known, was attached to nothing. He let his hand fall away fron its side and raised it so he could pillow his head on his arm. His eyes, to heavy to hold open, sliped closed. If anyone had dared to venture through the thick forest and came to the edge of the clearing all they would see would be a dark-haired man, hardly out of boyhood, leaning on a wall of nothingness. His hand dropped to the knob and the vibrating increased. The knob fit perfectly into his palm. "All I have to do is turn it," the thought drifted through his tired brain, "I just have to turn it and, for me, this will be over, my journey will be through at last." a click echoed through the silent forest. He steped back as the door swong open, reveling what lay within. His breath caught in his throat when he saw what awaited him. He took a final deep breath of the thick, damp, forest air and steped through the door...
It sounds promising, though rather conventional in the sense of developement. But it would be good to see the complete story, and than I could see how all functions together.
In all, I like the uneasiness and uncertainty of situation (however, work more on the words and subtle atmosphere to make it more effective). As I said, cut the conventionality of descriptions (character's look, forest, etc.). Make it more vague and you could get the effective opening. Its a good start: post the rest when finished
really good but one thing I noticed was that in line 2 when it says "Always this is the hardest part." it flows better, to me, when you switch the words "always" and "this".
