Hey guys, I am recently discovering my inner-poet, so forgive me if these are a bit rough. I tend to write in free-verse, so don't expect too many rhymes.
Beginning
This is a new dawn The start of good is on the horizon Can you feel it in the air? The people are calling At the start of a new era.
There is hope here Where sorrow once was. Hatred has left this land At the start of a new era.
My friends I beg of you To help me do good. Create, teach and love At the start of a new era.
I like the whole same last line thing. It would be better if it rhymed, then the last line thing would be more responsive and sound better aloud. Good job though!
I like the whole same last line thing. It would be better if it rhymed, then the last line thing would be more responsive and sound better aloud. Good job though!
Rhymes aren't really my style :/
Critics
Why do the people want the best When those who provide the best are gone?
Do they want to break the backs Of those who provide the kindness?
This is not in a direct relationship to acmed's comment. Had to add that disclaimer.
The cold air whips against my face The warm arms of Victory stolen from me Jeers are coming from the stands They are yelling at me
I gave it my all The toils of my sweat were evident Yet the loss was placed on me And I was not a part
Is this what Humiliation is? A cold bitter feeling? The feeling of friends against you Trying to beat you down to pulp?
Cruel Fate! Why hast thou fled? For it was you who made me want To be a part of a whole To try to help lead to Victory
Here I sit in my solitude My bitter regrets my only company The bitter cold is but a long-off thought Is this what Humiliation feels like?
I typed this after losing a Homecoming volleyball game, where I played a total of 6 points, and after losing the game 15-2, the team decided that I was at fault for not hitting balls that were in other peoples' areas.
