So, just about everyone I know has their own thread in AMW, and I decided it was high time I started one of my own. I'm no artist, but I fancy myself to be a bit of a poet. Here's a few by myself:
The Five Seasons
In the cool of these days I lie in the grass and contemplate In a fresh and gentle haze These beautiful breezes of late I long for times to go on forever But alas, they always stay never
Through the days of heat I long for the autumn Through this swelting waves to beat A cold, wet column Like a fresh breath of life To end this heated strife
In these months so gold When fresh joy enchants The colours grow bold With gusts of cool windy rants I fear my life is gone When these perfect days move on
Like a renewal of heart These ages are bathed in white When gone are the times of hurt Here the young are fresh with delight Sweet peace, joy, and love Soon flies away like a dove
Ah, this fifth season It is how I am alive It ends without reason It all too soon doesn't arrive When this season is gone To the afterlife, I move on -------------------
You Live To Die
Men live, men die A pat on the back Beats a poke in the eye This pendulum is out of wack
As life marches on, love might find you If it does, it might stay Or it might sail on with a ship's crew If it's still there, hooray
Soon, tragedy strikes you down Life starts to end, fall to pieces around your ears Those bright lights of love may turn brown If you're lucky, come true will all your fears
Soon pain will come 'round Like a swimmer drown'd You have no will to be alive You impatiently wait for death to arrive
When you see him come over the hill You run to greet him, as a friend Suddenly, to life you have the will But it's too late; come, has the end ----------------------------------
The Long Road As I walk along this road I see many dead on the road I see bodies on the road I see limbs on the road I see heds on the road But never on this road Have I seen love on this road Never once happiness on this road Everything is dead on the Long Road Walk life traversing the Long Road ----------------------------------
I'll add more as the days go on Even though time leaves I'll not be long gone For he that in me truly believes
J'ai fait un reve pas si tres lointaine, j'ai fait un reve j'ai chante une chanson jolie, bien que j'ai fait un reve je ne sais pas beaucoup mais je connais de beaute je sais pas comment aimer et j'aime etre aime j'ai fait un reve si la tres pas longtemps, j'ai eu un reve, ce n'est pas tres fort, bien que j'ai fait un reve -------------------------- Blech, fixed -_-
True Dat! You know, this is a moment where i love technology. Back in the day (when my mom was a kid) they had to go to a library and look up everything. I dont have to leave my house
Ok, let me start with what i think about your first five poems: *ahem* The Five Seasons- Extreamly well written, i'd say. The ryhme scheme is not not forced and i feel as if i am drifting through time and observing the wonders of nature. You Live To Die I prefer the first poem better, where the poem takes you to an almost surreal seeming land or place. This poem seems fitting for a group of poems relating to death. (maybe not the best choice for a funeral, however...) The Long Road This poem is similar to You Live To Die, only the element of sadness started to creep in as i was reading. One Day I really did like how this poem was uniquley (i hope im spelling that right) set up. Short stanzas, little words but you still managed to get the message to the reader, which is great.Usually, short, choppy sentences bug me, but that seemed to escape me while i was reading. Nice Work, Nice work! Blanket Land When i read this, the rhyming seemed to be a little forced, and it didn't carry the crazyape magicalness as your other poems. Still, its not bad.
That was an awesomely intense poetry session. I look forward to reading more of your poetry... But tommarow... Im mentally exausted. Thank you
I gaze out at you You smile back and turn away I reach out my hand You take it and smile I give you my heart You say you can't I offer my love and you do too
When I need a friend You're always there But when I need love You've got none to spare
You lied to me I forgave you and asked if you loved me You lied to me And I believe you
But, I'm alright with that Because to me your lie is the truth All I need in life is you Even though you hurt me I still can't hate you
You're care, so sweet Makes me love you Though you say you care I know you do I can't help but love you It started out as friends But the way you took care of me
Now you're the reason I smile You're why I'm still alive I'll still smile for awhile You make me glad That I'm alive
I can't express how you make me feel You do to me what sunshine should Just thinking about you gives me happiness It puts darkness in a hood I'm almost sane again
When you leave, you take a piece of my heart And a piece of my mind When you come back, I can think again The sun comes out, the waves roll in There's nothing to compare To that memory Just me and you on the sunset beach -----------------------------------
No name for that yet, it's a work in progress. Constructive critisism welcome. Hate welcome too, as long as you don't throw tomatoes and/or eggs at my tux.... xD jk jk
Oh my word! Your poems are so deep and invoke so many feelings that are deeply emmbedded in my soul. This last poem made me relive something painful in my past. But it wasn't a bad thing. Thank you.
Oh my word! Your poems are so deep and invoke so many feelings that are deeply emmbedded in my soul. This last poem made me relive something painful in my past. But it wasn't a bad thing. Thank you.
I'm glad they were stirring for you. When I write poetry, I'm generally inspired, sometimes confused. I just express my emotions.
WELL. I'm here! Is there anything in particular you want me to look at? I've read them and they are all really lovely, but I don't know if you want me to give like an official critique, which would take a bit longer. I'd be dissecting every poem for you, as best as I could.
WELL. I'm here! Is there anything in particular you want me to look at? I've read them and they are all really lovely, but I don't know if you want me to give like an official critique, which would take a bit longer. I'd be dissecting every poem for you, as best as I could. So, whatcha want me to do?
Read all the poetry, from first page to last, and tell me what ya fink (official critique)
poetry poetry nothing rymes with poetry, heres my poetry,
-=-=-=emo-=-=-
wolves, running through the forest, howling in a chorous, filling the air, waking the bears, untill its morning, then they sleep, they dont make a peep
