This is another short story I'm making. I'm writing it here for everyone to read and enjoy.
The Aerogull people had taken to the skies when life below became to troubled and evil to bother with anymore. They built craft made of a wood that they had created, which floated, lighter than air, and attached sails to them, so they could speed across the skies, anytime. Most of their craft's sails were low and broad, giving them a look like any normal boat, but they also had sails on the sides, giving them superior thrust. The upper sails were triangular, and the sides square. They made big towns, things with sparse engines on the side, made mostly of the lightwood, as it was called, and metal. They made a military too, to defend them. Skywolves, amazing men and women who rode on big, fast ships which sliced through the sky, and weapons the likes of swords, daggers, rifles and Refractor Cannon, (solar-charged cannons). They were very much pirates, what with the way they dressed, in mis-matched finery. A Midnight blue coat here, satin sashes there, varied wealthy countries in their everyday get-up.
Many years later, an Aerogull girl named Elher, who seemed to have the odd ability to not suffer from the bad air up high, and could climb extremely fast, and had amazing jumping abilities. The Aerogulls believed that she must have been born to suit being in the sky, thus the odd mutations. They cherished her, recognizing that soon, most people born in the sky will be true Airlords. Thus, Elher was named the first Airlord.
The Imperator is a mid-size skyship, commissioned on 21/4/2089. She has crew of thirty, all seasoned, able Skywolves, and space for seven passengers. Her hull is made from blackened lightwood, and she has eight cannon aboard, four a side or six on one side. She's seen, in her 30 years of service, three captains, four changes of crew, and seventeen battles.
The battles, like all, were against a "Ground-folk" faction called the Flight Bringers. Their activity has been trying to destroy Aerogull cities and enslaving children for work on the many forts and dirty, squalid cities down on the ground. They are the prime enemy of the Aerogull people, but they have never tracked down their hiding spot. The ship that took Gillia was called Festoola, and was a slaver.
tut tut tut. Still tight-lipped? 397 views and one comment? Is my work not worth criticism? Am I that bad? Or are you even paying more than a cursory glance at this thread?
I hope you don't feel too discouraged about the lack of comments. Sometimes it takes a while to get noticed. Then again, the amount of AMW regulars has dwindled down considerably in the past few years. I haven't been able to continue reading your story since I last commented, but I'll get to it. Finals have been bogging me down.
And btw, if you do feel discouraged enough to stop posting here on AG, try other websites much more geared towards writing. I hope you keep playing with this idea. It has good potential. I'll check back sometime this weekend.
Gillia and Garrett had served on the Imperator for a time of two months. They were midshipmen, in charge of pretty much anything that a simple, low-ish Skywolf sailor was in charge of. That is to say, unfurling sails, cannon checks, taking care of the livestock aboard, helping the cook, Travis Bellson. A wide assortment of work. Crew list of the Imperator
Jonathan Grimmill-Captain Georgia Filljig-First Mate and Navigator Yumpig Groundsnought-Second Mate Tom Bow-Quartermaster Travis Bellson-Cook
Midshipmen; Savy Trunwin Edgar Crossford Gillia Hester Garrett Filton William Hurting Jan Hellsong Limpwick Fordowl Victor Ford Killton Gordon Donna Fiddle Xavier Bannett
On their 67th day aboard, the captain announced that they had ben sent a message bearing news of a mission most vital to the Aerogulls. Several spies working on the ground had found good, rock-hard information as to the whereabouts of the Flight Bringers' HQ. They were heading to the ground
I'm sure you are looking for critiques, but I only have one to give: Your story will be even better if you writ more. =) I like this a lot and would love to read more.
One this I like about this so much is that just about everything written forms a detailed picture in my head. I wish you could over time give some more details about the look of this ship. You gave picture examples before hand, but I still don't know the story of the ship really. Oh we know some history, but we don't of the scars this ship as taken of her feelings that would swell with pride as her decks were shined to perfection. Are the sails frayed due to miss-care or signs of a hard life; or are they gleaming new, kept in perfect repair? The ship herself and how people treat is just about the only thing I can't picture. Okay, so I guess I did have a real critique, just took me a min to figure out what it was lol.
On the side note, I love, love, love the coat and sword given to Gillia. Of everything so far the coat was most detailed, and I love it; it's so beautiful. The blue in particular caught my attention because I've always interpreted blue as the color of kindheartedness and friendship. Very fitting I think.
I missed out some crew members; Jarhad Forl Nickolas Helmshand-Helmsman Mary Doehad Otto Klopen Bergen Stare Liker Bellstroke Gordon Nicksten
"Lower anchor!" called Grimill. A Skywolf at the bow hit a switch and the starboard anchor fell down and hit the top of the mountain with a resounding CLANG! "Prepare the longboats!" He shouted. Gillia and Garrett watched from beside the helm. "What about the other anchor?" Asked Gillia. "Cap'n wants to be able to escape quick-like," Said Nickolas, the helmsman. "Two anchors takes double the time to winch" Two longboats with small triangular sails were being lowered, and the Quartermaster was selecting Wolves o go to the ground. "You two!" He shouted, pointing at Gillia and Garrett. "Aye?" Said Garrett. "Come on! Cap'n wants you to see the ground!" Garrett and Gillia looked at each other. "Got your sword?' Asked Garrett. "You mean you missed this huge thing hanging from my belt?" "Sorry! I can barely pay attention in this air." "Step to it, you bilge rats!" Shouted the Quartermaster. Gillia and Garrett quickly clambered down the poop deck stairs and stepped into the boats, which had started floating about in the wind, balanced with their lightwood hull. The Quartermaster clambered in, then yelled; "Cast away those yardlines!" The sailors released the lines tethering the boats to the ship, and they started to drift away, going slightly towards the mountain peak. One of the Wolves unfurled their sail, and then took the tiller, and soon enough the wind caught them and set them speeding towards the base of the mountain.
The ship; The Imperator has three masts, her hull is a deep brown, ad Grimill had a deep red slash of paint down the side. Her decor includes mostly symbols of flight, namely owls circling the door to the Captain's cabin, and a huge half-man, half-bird figurehead with its wings folded back to protect the bow railings. Her helm is out in the open, as like most ships she was built like an old ship. Refractor cannon resemble normal cannon, but are a tad bigger and have a large panel on the side. Several solar cells on the deck charge the cannons, which release yellow beams. GTG
The two boats flew close to the mountain, moving slowly. Their occupants became aware of the sounds of hammering and machinery. They quickly furled the sails and got out near the base of the mountain, and began creeping along the side. The terrain was rocky and barren on the mountain, with very little to remark upon. As they went around another outcrop, they were faced with a small valley, surrounded on both sides with mountains and backed up against another taller mountain. In the valley was a large wall, protecting a section and completely enclosing it. Inside that clear space were some wood and stone buildings, surrounding the chassis of a large, WIP skyship made of metal. The sounds were much louder here, and the Skywolves could see men working on the ship. Tom signalled to stop, then took a bird from another crew member, a white and brown bird with the build of an owl, but a bit larger. He scribbled a note on a piece of paper; Found the base. Turn starboard two points then set down angle for a descent of med speed He clipped it to a small pouch on the bird then tossed it into the air, where it started flying back the way they had come.
