ForumsArt, Music, and WritingJ_C_Mooncity's Thread for Writing and Art

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j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
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Nomad

After rewriting this three times, this is the OP I'm going with. Don't let it's... rambling deter you, there is something somewhere. You may have to dig.

Comment on my stuff. Feel free to be brutally honest, I won't get hurt. Feel free to make suggestions. If you have an idea for where something I write should go, tell me. If I publish, I'll make sure to place AG in the acknowledgement section.

So there. Enjoy. It may get slightly confusing.

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j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

âYou are a terrible person!â She yells.

âI'm aware of that.â I replied simply.

âWhat event, what thing mentally damaged you so badly that you're forced to violently push people away!â She yells again.

âDo you really want to know what happened, really? You seem like a nice, normal young woman. I don't want to scare you.â I say, sadly what comes out of her mouth next is the last thing I want to hear.

âYes. Open up for once.â she says.

Ryan Hawthorn. I'm stuck with her until she either leaves my base, or dies. Great.

âSorry, I'm not willing to show the reason I'm such a jerk, at least not to you.â I snap.

I'm one for sentimentality.

âYou are the WORST person I've ever met. No, you aren't even human. God, I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. You are inhuman.â She says.

âYou're right, I'm not human, at least not completely.â I say.

She turns, and goes back into her room.

As I said before, I'm not completely human. I'm human, and pretty much every other living thing thrown in there. Energex called me the Omega Project, there is only one, because I am unstable. There was a second, but when she came close.... I can't be around other Omegas.  

Legion1350
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Legion1350
5,365 posts
Nomad

You have to be careful with word processors.

Either way, I'm assuming this is the redoing of that part you emailed me before? Overall, it looks fairly good. I'll need more to make a good judgement, though.

j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

Sorry, I forgot the quotation mark thing. There it's fixed, and the end now makes some sense. I didn't use a grammar checker, so the grammar might be kinda bad.


"You are a terrible person!" She yells.

"I'm aware of that." I replied simply.

"What event, what thing mentally damaged you so badly that you're forced to violently push people away!" She yells again.

"Do you really want to know what happened, really? You seem like a nice, normal young woman. I don't want to scare you." I say, sadly what comes out of her mouth next is the last thing I want to hear.

"Yes. Open up for once." she says.

Ryan Hawthorn. I'm stuck with her until she either leaves my base, or dies. Great.

"Sorry, I'm not willing to showà the reason I'm such a jerk, at least not to you." I snap.

I'm one for sentimentality.

"You are the WORST person I've ever met. No, you aren't even human. God, I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. You are inhuman." She says.

"You're right, I'm not human, at least not completely." I say.

She turns, and goes back into her room.

As I said before, I'm not completely human. I'm human, and pretty much every other living thing thrown in there. Energex called me the Omega Project. I still don't get the title.

j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

Third times the charm.


"You are a terrible person!" She yells.

"I'm aware of that." I replied simply.

"What event, what thing mentally damaged you so badly that you're forced to violently push people away!" She yells again.

"Do you really want to know what happened, really? You seem like a nice, normal young woman. I don't want to scare you." I say, sadly what comes out of her mouth next is the last thing I want to hear.

"Yes. Open up for once." she says.

Ryan Hawthorn. I'm stuck with her until she either leaves my base, or dies. Great.

"Sorry, I'm not willing to show the reason I'm such a jerk, at least not to you." I snap.

I'm not one for sentimentality.

"You are the WORST person I've ever met. No, you aren't even human. God, I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. You are inhuman." She says.

"You're right, I'm not human, at least not completely." I say.

She turns, and goes back into her room.

As I said before, I'm not completely human. I'm human, and pretty much every other living thing thrown in there. Energex called me the Omega Project. I still don't get the title.

MoonFairy
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MoonFairy
3,386 posts
Shepherd

OH WOW LOOK IT IS ANOTHER MOON! HI 'NOTHER MOON!

Third times the charm.

*looks at my thread Take 3...* DESTINY! @_@


Okay well this... Omega Project. I will happily edit and comment and things of JC's Future, but I'm not exactly sure what to take out or put in, because I don't know the gist of what you are trying to get at.
What I can tell you, is don't focus on "he said she said".

Also, Ryan Hawthorn? That's supposed to be the girl? Wha?
j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

Energex, they found me dying on the side of a road after being hit by a car. I was 16, and had no clue what they were. They said they would make me new, whole again. They said they would give a new life.

3 years later, I was released. I wasn't human any more. I was a test subject. They wanted to know if a human could survive having their DNA laced with the patterns of thousands of living things. I lived.

Sadly, that life had a number of side effects. I shed my skin once a month. I can see in the dark. I can echo locate. I have heightened senses and endurance. I no longer need to eat because I can use photosynthesis. I can breathe Oxygen, Carbon, and water. I don't age. That's why I hate almost everybody.

They made me to run their planet. Demeter, my pride and joy, I raise the giant forest now located on it's surface. I run the Oxygen harvesters. It exists in the first place to produce oxygen for the Humans, who have become so polluted they can't survive without Oxygen tanks.

I'd been on surface for 45 years when Ryan came along. I trained her. They were worried that my solitude would make unstable. I was already unstable. She is nothing but a pain. Now my only peace is that which I find in my greenhouse.

j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

Rage

Venom courses through me
Everything turns black
No one truly ever sees
How hard I wish to smack
That dumb smug look from off their face
Sadly I must resist
For every waking moment
You surely will have missed
All those icy signals
That I have given out
Now you've gotten on my nerves
I start to scream and shout
The venom slowly goes away
the bright lights all return
we start to laugh and sing and dance
Thank god, you've finally learned

skittlezareAWESOME
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skittlezareAWESOME
54 posts
Nomad

I really like your story. Sounds like something I would read. More please?

Alexistigerspice
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Alexistigerspice
1,502 posts
Farmer

Your thread! Its so different! WHAT HAPPENED?
Are you still going to be posting parts of your other story?
The one with Jason and the other dude?
I like your Omega Project story ;D

j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

The Omega Project

"You are a terrible person!" She yells.

"I'm aware of that." I replied simply.

"What event, what thing mentally damaged you so badly that you're forced to violently push people away!" She yells again.

"Do you really want to know what happened, really? You seem like a nice, normal young woman. I don't want to scare you." I say, sadly what comes out of her mouth next is the last thing I want to hear.

"Yes. Open up for once." she says.

Ryan Hawthorn. I'm stuck with her until she either leaves my base, or dies. Great.

"Sorry, I'm not willing to show the reason I'm such a jerk, at least not to you." I snap.

I'm not one for sentimentality.

"You are the WORST person I've ever met. No, you aren't even human. God, I cannot believe I'm stuck with you. You are inhuman." She says.

"You're right, I'm not human, at least not completely." I say.

She turns, and goes back into her room.

As I said before, I'm not completely human. I'm human, and pretty much every other living thing thrown in there. Energex called me the Omega Project. I still don't get the title.

Energex, they found me dying on the side of a road after being hit by a car. I was 16, and had no clue what they were. They said they would make me new, whole again. They said they would give a new life.

3 years later, I was released. I wasn't human any more. I was a test subject. They wanted to know if a human could survive having their DNA laced with the patterns of thousands of living things. I lived.

Sadly, that life had a number of side effects. I shed my skin once a month. I can see in the dark. I can echo locate. I have heightened senses and endurance. I no longer need to eat because I can use photosynthesis. I can breathe Oxygen, Carbon, and water. I don't age. That's why I hate almost everybody.

They made me to run their planet. Demeter, my pride and joy, I raise the giant forest now located on it's surface. I run the Oxygen harvesters. It exists in the first place to produce oxygen for the Humans, who have become so polluted they can't survive without Oxygen tanks.

I'd been on surface for 45 years when Ryan came along. I trained her. They were worried that my solitude would make unstable. I was already unstable. She is nothing but a pain. Now my only peace is that which I find in my greenhouse.

START HERE If you've read the above couple posts.

As I walk through the trees I can feel a slight breeze. Rather than go the my green house, I head to the nearest oxygen harvester. It's working at a higher level than the last time I check it. I check the others, and they are too.

I sprint back to the base. Ryan is sitting in the Rec area playing chess. She looks up as I run by her.

"What are you doing?" She asks, following me into the Communication Room.

"I'm contacting the Company. We have wind." I say to her, frantically pressing buttons as the slow process starts.

"What does that mean?" She asks.

"REALLY! Are you that clueless? It means we can go from solar to wind and I can start planting more trees. I'm contacting the Company to have wind turbines sent here." I snap at her.

"Geez, sorry. I was just asking." She says.

I connect, and explain the situation to the engineer people on the other side. They're happy, I'm happy, Ryan is clueless. This is going to be a long day.

Rapyion
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Rapyion
2,300 posts
Shepherd

Interesting story, JC.

I went to check your profile and got this!

Amazing work, fellow forumer!

Lols.

j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

After I'm done briefing the Company on the status of the planet, I head to the main control room. It's a large room that is used for controlling the base. I shut down the Oxygen feed, and open all the vents. Walking out into the main hall, I see Ryan freaking out at the noise.

"RYAN! What are you doing? Quit freaking and come eat dinner."

j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

Sorry about the size. This is the layout of the base, sorry about the crappyness.

http://i1255.photobucket.com/albums/hh631/J-C-Mooncity/THeAGOmegaproject-1-1.png

j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

"What are we having?" She asks.

"Food." I say.

"Yum." She says.

After eating the mush they give us, I stand and walk over to her.

"Come with me." I say.

"Why? Where are we going?" She asks.

"You are going to show me how to operate a harvester." I say.

"You know how to do that, why do I need to show you?" She says.

"Because you need to know this, I am making sure you know how." I say.

"Oh, you trained me, I obviously know how."

I shake my head and start walking towards the now open Airlock. She follows me.

j_c_mooncity
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j_c_mooncity
1,060 posts
Nomad

Once we are out of the base, I hear Ryan gasp the go streaking passed me. She runs into the big grassy area, flops down, and looks up at the sky. The clouds that have been sitting over the 'sea' have moved inland. I look up, and smile as I see why she is so smiley. Big, puffy marsh-mellow clouds are floating above us. I shake my head.

"Yes yes. They're clouds. You lived with them for 20 years, these are no different. Hurry up, I don't know the chemical composition of these. I haven't been to the coast in years. The clouds could rain down acid and you would die."

She stands and follows me to Isaiah, the nearest oxygen harvester. It's a large tube that stick up from the dirt. I open the control panel, and tug on a bunch of random wires. I hear the whirring coming from inside it stop.

"Fix it." I order.

Fifteen minutes later, I hear the whirring start. She closes the panel.

"There, it looks fixed." She says.

"It is, I can hear it." I say.

I start walking back towards base. She follows me.

"You can hear what?" She asks.

"The sound the machine makes. It's too quiet for you to hear. Your ears are human, mine aren't." I say.

"What do you mean by that? You always say your not human, you look human, you act slightly human some times. You eat. As far as I know, you are a human." She says.

"It's a long story." I say.

The rest of the walk is silent.

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