It's a little diabolical to post old works in a new thread, but what the heck! Besides, some of my best, if I don't say so myself, come from spur-of-the-moment moments in the FLP. So that I don't feel completely abashed by my posting old works, I'll try to explain the inspiration behind some of them, since I haven't been able to do that in the FLP. Which kinda makes them seem unconsidered.
So here's a story.. I'd just got home from seeing The Woman In Black at my local theatre and I couldn't get to sleep because I saw faces in every reflection (boy, do I have the knack for winding myself up in the dark). I had a quick scan of the FLP thread, and low and behold, the perfect first line!
And through the mist, I saw him, Pale and dead as dust.
Through the mist, I saw my boy, Emerging from the rust.
In the darkness, Caught him, Light as skin and bones.
In the darkness, Laid him, Where he felt most at home.
I wrote this from the point of view of the ghost in the film I'd just watched. I don't want to spoil the plot for anyone, but if you've seen the play or the film you'll probably see where I was coming from.
Firstly, I need to acknowledge a few mistakes in the OP poem! 3rd stanza, 3rd line, the 3rd word should be 'I'. Also, 5th stanza, 2nd line, it's 'built', not 'build'.
I wrote this next piece about 5 months ago. At the time I had just got together with my boyfriend, my very first boyfriend, because the others hardly counted.. I never finished it because I thought this version already conveyed my feelings accurately enough. I am quite an insecure person, but then again, I think most people my age who still post here are.
I Don't Know Who I Should Believe
Wait up, wait here, Wait for me to use An analogy to describe My feelings for you I have all the thoughts And the words, and the time But no way to combine them To prove that you're mine. Before you fade away, What if you fade away.
I could stand here for hours Just asking the question Is this really happening to me? I don't think that I've Been this lucky before And I don't know who I should believe
My head or my heart, My head or my heart, I don't know who I should believe.
My head or my heart, My head or my heart, I don't know who I should believe.
So here's a story.. I'd just got home from seeing The Woman In Black at my local theatre and I couldn't get to sleep because I saw faces in every reflection (boy, do I have the knack for winding myself up in the dark).
And right after Nicho and I discussed the possibility of some sort of AG Rennaisance taking place, look who decides to show up!
Jeez, it seems everyones coming back now. Glad to see you back Jess, and writing no doubt.
3rd stanza, 3rd line, the 3rd word should be 'I'. Also, 5th stanza, 2nd line, it's 'built', not 'build'.
Beat me to the punch. Nice to see though that those were mistakes, rather than intentional. Left be a bit confused, though besides these few discrepancies the work is great overal. The meter is simple, but it really helps to convey the complex yet deceptively simple problem of writers block. Or atleast, thats how I interpret it.
Hey Mav! What's this AG Renaissance idea? Haha, I hate leaving mistakes un-corrected. I needed to get in there before somebody else corrected them for me :P
So recently I've been making friendship bracelets for various family members and I found a neat website where you can generate your pattern in an easily readable way. It sort of teaches you how to make your own pattern. If you guys could check out my profile and lemme know which pattern you like best I'd be most grateful!
Out of everything I've written, this is the most true to my feelings at the moment. I have a gigantic conflict rumbling around inside me and I really don't know what I should do.
I've been missing you, Like a limb or a part, Of a whole. In my chest, Where we all keep a heart.
I've been missing him, Like a hole in the head, But I've yet to decide, If I want him instead.
Erm....talk it out with your friends/mum/sister? I like the rhyme scheme in alternating lines here! And the iambic trimeter, if my lit skills serve me well enough. Quite a consistent beat to it.
