I decided to create this thread because i want to be a writer. I think i have created somthing like this before, but no one responded, so i quit it. One or two years in future, though, i sit at my laptop writing this thread, to give this a second go. This is a thread dedicated to, well, my writings. Please leave comments, thumbs up, thumbs down (if so, why) ect ect ect.
O.k., first poem, here we go. I wrote this poem last year..
The Road Many people journey The Road Paving their own trail. Many people carry a load Through sun, fog and hail. When they finally come to the crossroads, And select a new route to take, Many people travel The Road Full of choices to make.
Syllable-wise: The syllable count was great until the 5th line... try to even them up a bit more if you can. But sometimes it's OK to go out on a little limb.
Word-choice: Maybe make your words a bit stronger and more vivid. Perhaps replacing "come to" with "reach" or "find" or "discover". Maybe instead of "select", try "decide upon" or "embark on".
Meaning/Interpretation: I found the road and choices to be somewhat of a generic analogy. Maybe an analogy of how a bird chooses where to build his nest would seem a bit more original. - But overall, I think it is quite a decent start, and with some practice, you could grow your abilities. But even though there are some cracks and faults in your writings, don't let them crumble, take the caulk I handed you and seal them.
