as the title states i am unsure if i am a decent writer at all. i mean i used to enter the child and teen author contests in grade school and junior high. i normally got into the top 5 submitted, and from there i was best of school once and special recognition twice, but that's about it. please don't be too harsh on me this is the first time ima write or anything for serious. just tell me if it's good... or if i should just stop writing where i am at. this is a small excerpt from one of the chapters of a book i'm currently trying to write. this is a rough draft, and punctuation or misspelled words or misshapen sentences and the like will be taken care of.i like to write and read fantasy and theoretical type stuff. hope this goes well.. time to start typing..
CHAPTER (unknown)
Eliehtay stumbled from the portal and took in his surrounding. he found himself in a long, hot, dry desert canyon. a soft desert wind blew around him kicking up small flurries of dust around him. looking around, he could not see Pyraxxis or Jarkin. "Jarkin!" he yelled out. the words repeated themselves and bounced off the seemingly endless walls of the narrow ravine. There was no answer. Eliehtay begin to walk in the sweltering heat. as he passed by some scraggly desert brush, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. he peered at it cautiously as Jarkin slowly and yet steadily emerged, still bearing his wounds of the previous battle. Jarkin immediately took notice of Eliehtay and judging by the lack of footprints by the brush, he must have been dropped here from the portal. Jarkin began to motion towards the heavens, using his inborn powers. Rain began to flood the normally calm sky as it fell in great splashes onto the dusty canyon's floor. "what the **** is Jarkin doing?" eliehtay thought. the rain increased to a torrential downpour as the two young men looked at eachother. Eliehtay felt cold, soaked to the bone, chilled to his very heart and somehow, he knew this had nothing to do with the freezing rain pounding on his skin. As Eliehtay moved forward to talk to Jarkin he felt slightly happy at having found him... but oddly cautious for a reason he couldn't explain... he stopped dead in his tracks as Jarkin drew a long, wickedly curved gleaming dagger. with a strange menacing stride, jarkin began to move towards Eliehtay. Eliehtay began to create a shield around himself from the rain and Jarkin but no.. wait.. something stopped him.. what was it? The dagger! it nullified his powers! where had Jarkin gotten THAT!? Eliehtay began to step back matching Jarkin's steps. he remembered what Pyraxxis said, "i have servants everywhere, even in your midst, closer than you can think." Eliehtay finally saw the truth. He felt helpless without his poweres, stripped, bare, naked. he couldn't even open a ******* portal... Jarkins pace quickened. "Jarkin, whatever Pyrxxis has told you, stop please you don't have to." eliehtay pleaded. Jarkin's silence continued. the stalk continued in an all quiet, except for the thunder coming from overhead. Eliehtay could feel mud squelching at his feet and trying to suck away his boots with every backstep he took. "i fight you if i must." eliehtay growled as he felt a hard, cold prescence in his back. he had hit the ravine's wall. That was whne Jarkin made his move. with a quicksilver flash he leaped forward and drew the dagger slashing for Eliehtay's chest. Eliehtay barely ducked in time and jumped sideways in time to avoid a major chest hit. However, the dagger did score a minor hit acrost his forhead. "damnit" he said. as he dropped down again and lashed out with his legs at Jarkin's own. For a second, it seemed that jarkin might continue standing, but then he fell onto the canyon floor, a now near-constant flowing river of mud. he slipped and fell as he tried to regain his stance. Eliehtay grappled upwards against the sucking mud and pulled himself close to the wall using it as support from the rain, wind and mud. he wiped blood from his forhead where is was partially blinding him and stinging his eye. he looked at Jarkin's face now. what he saw was unexpected. It was an odd mixture of hate, anger, insanity and a touch of... pity... as if the heavens answered to this, lightning cracked and thunder rolled and roared. Jarkin, also managing to stand using a small deseret bush that was threatening to pull away with the now ankle-deep mud. "why jarkin why!" he screamed over the wind and thunder. Jarkin simply screamed back, "Pyraxxis and his post-war world, he showed me what would happen if we won, and how i could help if he won and i sided with him." "you don't understand," he continued, "i was the shadow... i followed him all along.." Shadow.. shadow... shadoww. the word seemed to echo endlessly in Eliehtay's mind. He recalled (later filled) dying words regarding the shadow. "so you would betray us all for a seat of power!" "a GOD ****** position for the live's of all your bretheren." Eliehtay screamed with anger and rage. "i am going to kill you.." he promised as he grabbed a fist sized rock sitting on a nearby ledge. "TO HELL WITH PYRAXXIS! TO HELL WITH YOU! TO HELL WITH YOUR BLOODY IDEAS OF THE WORLD AND MOST OF ALL YOU!" he spat with venom in his tone that practiclly spit from his mouth. Time seemed to stand still. Jarkin gaped, as Eliehtay rushed forwards slipping in the mud to get to him. Jarkin met his charge and the two hit, as the thunder reached a crescendo. Eliehtay heard a satisfying crack as the rock conencted with Jarkin's side. Immediately afterward, he felt a sharp pain in his skull as the hilt of the dagger came down on his head. the pain spiraled down his neck as he weakly sank to his knees, threatening to fall unconscious. his whole world was encompassed in pain, his body shuddered. "you always were too arragont." Jarkin said he brought the dagger up. Eliehtay weakly looked upwards and saw Jarkin's face haloed by lightning and rain. "Jarkin..." he pleaded. as the lightning crashed and the thunder rumbled like a cry of a dieing animal, long ominous and foreboding. Jarkin held the dagger high. The dagger fell downward with force. eliehtay, with a sense of resignment looked downwards as well, unable to fight anymore. Eliehtay closed his eyes. Jarkin Screamed. The wicked dagger made contact. it sunk in deeply.
well anwyays that's all i got for now.. i don't write from the beginning, i jump around and think up a storyline as i go. i hope this is decent. see you all.
darn darn darn... major writers block here, and what's sad is i'm not even halfway done with the next chapter. if you're reading this go read my WolfTeam the book, ii already have a plot laid out for that one and will be actively writing it.
