Title sure is a mouthful, aint it? Well before you say: "woody?" I'll say that he is in here as a few brief references/cameos. I'll give you a little background as to The EvilCandyland. The Evil Candyland was initially a project I had where a small child would be put into a coma. He finds himself trapped inside his own mind, full of candy and happy faces. However, since I wanted to be somewhat philosophical, I also realized that every child may have a happy adventure filled brain, but in this brain I realize that a child will be happy to be a little evil motherf-(strop comes in to kick me in the face). I changed the Evil Candyland into a completely different universe, instead of having it in only a single story that probably wouldn't even get on it's feet.
Mr. Rogers and the Dyslexic Elephant are two characters I thought of on the spot. Mr. Rogers is a spotty Englishman with a monocle, handlebar mustache and a top-hat. Why? He's motherf-(stropkick)ing classy.
Mr. Rogers and the Dyslexic Elephant Run Through The EvilCandyland is actually a school project for SCIENCE class, so expect this to be an ongoing project after the main story is actually completed. Why? Because I actually like Mr. Rogers.
So then, I'll start in the next post since I'm still writing the first few pages (expect the project to be completed by today, and also expect it to be... short. Like, really short. Less than 20 pages)
Viruses Mr. Rogers was happily skipping along when he found a door in the middle of a field. "My god! It's a door!" he yelled across the green, grassy field. Mr. Rogers was perplexed by this door. There was no building with it. It was just a door. "Well what should I do with it, Mr. Pluppolopikins?" Mr. Rogers asked to his imaginary dyslexic elephant. The elephant didn't answer, and Mr. Rogers grew impatient. "When Pluppolopikins, if you won't answer me I think I'll just try what I always do with a new door." Mr. Rogers then licked the doorknob, and stepped inside the door. A ritual he practiced with every new door he met. Suddenly, Mr. Rogers found himself in bed. You see, there was a plaque in that field, it said: "This door will transport you to a completely different world, oh and you'll also catch a virus of unknown origins." You see, Mr. Rogers can't read! However, his pet Elephant can. Though it is Dyslexic one. And so Mr. Rogers was confined to hsi bed, with a little mechanical looking bugger on his chest. This virus was incredibly large. Rogers had no idea how he would not die from this experience. Why? Well a virus reproduced by "hooking into" a host cell. The host cell can do basically nothing to get the virus out, until the great immune system comes into play. The virus then replaces the cell's DNA with it's own. The Cell starts to manufacture the viruses inside of itself until it's ready to burst. A ton more of Viruses burst out from the cell. Mr. Rogers could only assume this is what the gigantic virus on his chest wanted to do to him. He hoped that it wouldn't give him Influenza, West Nile Virus, or even AIDS. Though he could have avoided this encounter by not licking doorknobs, or at least washing his hands. So it could have been the end of Mr. Rogers. UNTIL... The Dyslexic Elephant, Mr. Roger's loyal companion and blue-gray awesome reader with Dyslexia, kicked down the virus and beat it to death with it's huge ivory tusks. Though the Virus has no blood, so it did not end up being graphic whatsoever. "My god Dyslexic Elephant!" Mr. Roger gasped, "It took you long enough to finally show yourself to me!" Rogers was enthralled to finally see his best friend for the first time in his entire life. The dyslexic elephant simply raised his mighty stump and honked, followed by a squeal of pleasure from saving his friend.
Bacteria Now Mr. Rogers had exited out of his bed (which was, incidentally, in a field), and looked at the area around him. He was in a grassy valley, with trees that had happy faces and lolipops, gumdrops, and candy bars running about. "It's as if I was but a mere child Pluppolopikins!" Mr. Rogers yelped to his pet no-longer-imaginary elephant. "Duhuhuh" the Elephant responded. He was on 2 stumpy legs at the moment, but he couldn't talk for some particular reason. His voice sounded raspy and bad. He coughed up a bunch of oddly colored phlegm onto the floor. Mr. Rogers was off in the distance sucking on a talking lolipop, which was screaming in terror that Mr. Rogers was trying to eat it. When Ploppolopikins decided to rip off Rogers from his delicious talking treat, Rogers noticed something about his pet elephant. "My god! Your throat Ploppolopikins! It seems that you have a bacterial infection of Strep!" Mr. Rogers was incredibly euphoric and enthusiastic. His monocle almost popped off because he was hopping up and down too madly. "Furrduhhuhh." The elephant replied, coughing up some more disgusting looking phlegm. It was apparent that Ploppolopikins had Strep, and Mr. Rogers had just the idea. The elephant looked confused at his Englishman buddy, and tilted his head. "Here Mr. Pluppolopikins!" Mr. Rogers seemed to yell enthusiastically at his elephant buddy as he stuffed a bottle of Anti-biotics down his throat. "You should just be glad you didn't get a worse infection like strep or uh... strep!" Mr. Rogers couldn't have thought of a different form of infection. "but bacteria is fairly nasty! There are some bacteria which resides in your most vital of places! But it's meant to keep it safe of course. Like the bacteria in a koala bear's stomach (given from the mother's poop) that allows them to eat Eucalyptus leaves." Mr. Rogers seemed to throw this information at his friend but Ploppolopikins didn't seem to retain any. "But anyway, bacteria is a form of single-celled organism which divides itself in order to reproduce. It works like a common cell, but it's a one celled organism instead." Mr. Rogers was now talking to the lolipop instead of his pet elephant, since it was apparent the elephant didn't really care.
If you happen to find doorknobs in the middle of field, inquire whether anyone else sees it first. If not then proceed to check your self into the best mental health facility in the area, and live out the rest of you years in peace.
