ForumsArt, Music, and WritingMy story (trumpetfury [that's me])

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Trumpetfury
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Trumpetfury
615 posts
Nomad

Well, i got bored, and decided to write this. tell me what you think, and if enough people like it, i'll continue it. Oh, and i dont have a title for it... any suggestions are welcome.



The heat was blistering. The rain was cold as it touched, and boiled in our socks. The was the worst part of our journey. Not the sleep deprivation, or the lack of water. The wet, and hot socks plastered to our feet. The wet socks rubbed our feet raw, and gave us countless blisters. That was the most painful part of our journey. Not the hail that occasionally pounded our heads. Not the brambles that clawed at our arms. The blisters on our feet from wet socks. That sounds insignificant, but you try running from cops, while you were innocent, with no water, or food, or supplies. We all had warrants for murder, and accessories to murder. I was the prime suspect. Of course, why would I think any different? I had the worst luck in the North Hemisphere. They said they had evidence. I knew that was a lie. And I also knew why they wanted to bring me down. I was a threat to national security. But Iâll get into that later. Right now, its time to hunt. I think we are in Nevada now. We ran from Florida. No cars, no trucks, not even a bike or two. Just walking, and hiding for 3 months. It was slow going, but hey? They didnât know where we were, and they thought we had run off to Guatemala. That was courtesy of my mom. She was the best liar I knew. She lied to me, my dad, and her dad, and the cops. Lucky for me, sheâs an awesome mom. I must go now, to catch some food for our group. 7 people are not fed very easily. Oh, and one more thing. Iâm 16.

  • 28 Replies
Trumpetfury
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Trumpetfury
615 posts
Nomad

I�

can someone enlighten me upon what this is?
EnterOrion
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EnterOrion
4,220 posts
Nomad

can someone enlighten me upon what this is?


Quotations in MS Word or Wordpad. Use Notepad.
samdawghomie
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samdawghomie
3,550 posts
Peasant

Well, you c/pasta'd it straight out of Word, and AG can't recognize ";:, and those type symbols.

Trumpetfury
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Trumpetfury
615 posts
Nomad

oh, thanks for the tips on that. now, how about the story? xD

DDX
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DDX
3,562 posts
Nomad

I still do not understand why you had to write "that's me" in the title

Trumpetfury
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Trumpetfury
615 posts
Nomad

that was just a joke.... lol, if i could say it in real life, you could tell.

vinster132
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vinster132
5,874 posts
Jester

Maybe the title should be Prime Suspect? Run away? I don't know, those popped inside my head.

snipershot325
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snipershot325
844 posts
Nomad

lulz,worst strory! ever! >=)

1337Player
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1337Player
1,766 posts
Peasant

It's okay. Not bad, really. Although I hear a but repetition throughout the story

and boiled in our socks.

The wet, and hot socks plastered to our feet.

The wet socks rubbed our feet raw, and gave us countless blisters.

Less repetition. That would be nice.
vinster132
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vinster132
5,874 posts
Jester

I agree with 1337Player, less repetition would be obviously better. With a chance it would've been a part/story. There's more to it correct?

Trumpetfury
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Trumpetfury
615 posts
Nomad

if thats wat you wish for. lol, ya, i'll fix the first one to make it less repetitious... i think thats a word... lol

vinster132
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vinster132
5,874 posts
Jester

Lolz, it's "repetition." No, it's fine just make a second part with less repetition, so it wouldn't waste your time. =D

chitown
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chitown
1,614 posts
Farmer

Nice story Trumpet.

I think I caught one mistake:

North Hemisphere


It should be Northern Hemisphere.
vinster132
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vinster132
5,874 posts
Jester

Are you done with the new part yet? TF?

Nurvana
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Nurvana
2,520 posts
Farmer

Good. One of the better stories in the lit forum

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