okayy..i write songs but i really like this one..i play guitar and i havent added music to it yet..heres the lyrics..tell me what you think
She Says- By: Cody Sykes (me)
she says..she hates evverryything i say..you should be happy she says..she isnt happy i said..she has no reason to be saaaddd
you say..your life couldnt get worse i say..it couldnt get better you say..no on cares about you but you dont know what i go through for yooouuu
you say everyone hates you but you dont know everyone loves you like i dooo
she says things are starting to go right she says..shes starting to cheer up i said..i knew it all would she said..shed never give uuuppp
you say..your life couldnt get worse i say..it couldnt get better you say..no on cares about you but you dont know what i go through for yooouuu you say everyone hates you but you dont know everyone loves you like i dooo
she said..shes glad she kept going I said..she made the right choice She said..she was so happy I said..i knew she wouuuullddd
She says..shes loved by everyone I said..i couldnât love her more She says..she is so happy I saidâ¦â¦â¦its about time
Thank you for reading and telling me if you like it..so far everyone ive showed liked it..you can make the singing sound however you like although i know how its supposed to be sung..it sounds much better when i sing it than when its written but..oh well..hahah ((=
okayy..thanks.. and anyone who actually takes the time to look at it..please write what you think..i want some feedback..i wrote it today and i dont think im done..i just wanna know what you think i could change or improve
i wrote it in like 10 minutes after talking to my friend for like 3 hours on the phone..i wrote it for her..not much rhymes with up anyway..and im not the first person to rhyme with the same word.. =P so..this song isnt about rhyming! its serious
As far as songwriting lyrics go, it doesn't get any more direct and simple than this. It's... well actually I think the subject matter kinda saves it, because it makes me think "cute" (albeit corny) instead of a lot of the vapid trash that gets written today, that simply makes me headdesk. But I don't think I should give it more credit than it seems to merit: keep writing. A lot.
If you're setting this to music, I would recommend steering well clear of modern alternative rock, nu-metal, lyrical rock/metal etc. kind of music, and referring to early Beatles stuff (i.e. before they actually got down to writing real songs).
I have to agree that it does sound a bit tacky. Though, at the same time, Strop insults me.
I'm a huge fan of the Beatles, including there earlier stuff. Why do I like the Beatles and hate most of the new stuff they come out with today, when both are about love? The Beatles didn't take a generic approach to their music. They didn't focus on love, but instead they focused on getting home from work to their love or not knowing what love was like and so on and so on.
They never sang "I love you. I simply love you more than anything. Yeah, I love you more than the earth and all teh teddy bearz in da wourld." and focused simply on how much they love someone.
Which is why it's always important to try to find a certain approach when it comes to writing music and poems, especially ones about love. Those tend to be tacky.
Speaking of the Beatles, these lyrics remind me of the song She Said.
Back to your lyrics. It's hard to rate them without music. Whatever I say, music and the way you sing the lyrics could change everything.
I feel it is a little bit too tacky in my opinion. Then again, that's simply without music. The flow of the poem is alright, but some sections seem noticeably longer and some shorter than others.
Your lyrics reminds me of something I wrote before. Even with metaphors, my poem is too tacky for me to even stand to read. It's hard to write poems about specific events without making a few alterations to what really happened.
Like what Strop said, keep writing. If you're writing lyrics, focus on songs you like and try to figure out why their stuff doesn't suck and why their lyrics work. If you're writing poems, read as many poems as you can, ones you likes and hate. That way, you can figure out which mistakes to avoid. Most importantly, you can figure out ways to make different approaches to what you do.
So keep writing. I hope to see some more stuff from you here.
okayy..im working on the music but i can sing it and make it sound good..and i dont really listen to the beatles alot so i dont know about them..=D thanks and like i said..this isnt the final work..i wrote this in like 15 minutes..i just had alot on my mind..i always write songs when i do..most of them are not very good but i liked the point of this song..and i made it simple mostly becasue there are so many idiots who wouldnt understand it if i used alotta metaphors and similies..ive written 2 songs that i actually thought were pretty good and this is one of them but ill keep working on it..and im still working on the music
Lyrics are ok. They remind me of Jane Says by Jane's Addiction. Pretty good job. But the music is what makes the song. If you can nail the music on the head, it'll go over big. The tune is what matters the most.
yes i know..im working on the music..i already know how im going to sing it..the lyrics are what i wanted feedback on..i know how to make music..but writing songs is very hard..
hahah..arent you nice.. yea..i dont care..ive known her for 3 years..its funny...how mean someone can be to another person..they are just like you..no different...made by the god..she depressed..gets called a slut..picked on..everything you can think of..none of its true..she hasnt had a bf in 3 years..shes a virgin..how the hell she a slut..it really makes me mad.. anyway..thanks (=
