I only wrote one section of this story for you guys to figure out what happened before and what might happen after.
Jimmyâs Section
I walk slowly crunched over tending to my hurt arm. I find my dreadful family with three other strangers setting up a camp for the night. I tell my mom that I hurt my arm when the boat crashed. Of course she was very worried and found a first aid kit and carefully wrapped the soft bandage around the cuts and bruises. After my mom bandaged my arm up she said that I should have something to eat so then I have energy for the rest of the night. She found a couple of bananas and I gladly ate them. I was feeling very tired so I found myself a blanket and fell asleep warm and thinking of how we were going to get off this spooky island. I woke up to the chatter of my dad and a stranger talking about weapons. The stranger had said that he was going on a hunting trip but since the boat has crashed he thought they could use the guns to kill some animals and get enough food to last them for a day or two. My dad had agreed that this was a good idea and he was going out with two other strangers after breakfast to get some food. I got out of bed very gently trying not to hit my arm even though it was almost better. I then walked to the tree that had fallen down and we use the flat side as a table. I was served half a coconut with its smooth tasty coconut milk inside of it. I also ate some berries and plants that one of the strangers found with my mom. I saw that my dad and the strangers were going out now to hunt animals. I wondered where they would go to find game so I stealthily crept away from my mother and brother to follow them. I made sure to keep my distance away from them so then they would not know they were being followed.
They suddenly stopped and crouched low with their rifles at the ready. I saw a whole herd of deer grazing in the meadow just a few yards ahead of where we stopped. The three of them aimed their rifles at the hearts of three different deer to increase the chance of killing one. On the count of three they shot, my dad hit one just below the chest and it ran away stumbling. The stranger that was the expert at hunting hit the deer square in the heart, it staggered a little then fell to the ground with a thump. The other stranger missed the deer completely and the herd went bounding off in the distance. The deer that got killed was a full grown male and I realized that it would feed all the people tonight. I went into a deep thought of how being stranded on this island might not be so bad after all. Then all of a sudden I heard a tremendous scream of terror and I dashed to see what had happened. Thoughts were going through my head as I ran through the forest, did they kill another deer? Did one of them get hurt? Did they run into savages? Then I saw my father hunched over the stranger, who could not aim a rifle and I saw a pool of blood underneath him. My dad had wild eyes and was babbling on about how the other stranger pushed him off the cliff and that he ran off into the dense terrain. I didnât know if I should trust my dad because of the barbaric look on his face, but I guess he is my dad and I should.
Anything can be an Alien story... even a story about Lindsay Lohan coul be an Alien story. Anyways, your a good writer, and it actually made me feel sad for the character.
Write all of the story, and post it somewhere someone who cares about literature can read it. Not just a bunch of kids who can get interested in some guy running around in underwear beating up talking toilits.
Write all of the story, and post it somewhere someone who cares about literature can read it. Not just a bunch of kids who can get interested in some guy running around in underwear beating up talking toilits.
Hey, I'm interesting in his story and I am just giving him some recommendations to make his story better. And talking toilets actually arent that bad of an idea...
I am still working on the next part. This was just a english assignment and I wanted to see what people thought of it. I am working on the next part I try to do a sentence every day.
I decided not to write another part to this story. But here is another short story.
Susan and Ned were driving through a wooded empty section of highway. Lightning flashed, thunder roared, the sky went dark in the torrential downpour. âWeâd better stop,â said Susan. Ned nodded his head in agreement. He stepped on the brake, and suddenly the car started to slide on the slick pavement. They plunged off the road and slid to a halt at the bottom of an incline. Pale and shaking, Ned quickly turned to check if Susan was all right. When she nodded, Ned relaxed and looked through the rain soaked windows. âIâm going to see how bad it is,â he told Susan, and when out into the storm. She saw his blurry figure in the headlight, walking around the front of the car. A moment later, he jumped in beside her, soaking wet. âThe carâs not badly damaged, but weâre wheel-deep in mud,â he said. âIâm going to have to go for help.â Susan swallowed nervously. There would be no quick rescue here. He told her to turn off the headlights and lock the doors until he returned. Axe Murder Hollow. Although Ned hadnât said the name aloud, they both knew what he had been thinking when he told her to lock the car. This was the place where a man had once taken an axe and hacked his wife to death in a jealous rage over an alleged affair. Supposedly, the axe-wielding spirit of the husband continued to haunt this section of the road. Outside the car, Susan heard a shriek, a loud thump, and a strange gurgling noise. But she couldnât see anything in the darkness. Frightened, she shrank down into her seat. She sat in silence for a while, and then she noticed another sound. Bump. Bump. Bump. It was a soft sound, like something being blown by the wind. Suddenly, the car was illuminated by a bright light. An official sounding voice told her to get out of the car. Ned must have found a police officer. Susan unlocked the door and stepped out of the car. As her eyes adjusted to the bright light, she saw it. Hanging by his feet from the tree next to the car was the dead body of Ned. His bloody throat had been cut so deeply that he was nearly decapitated. The wind swung his corpse back and forth so that it thumped against the tree. Bump. Bump. Bump. Susan screamed and ran toward the voice and the light. As she drew close, she realized the light was not coming from a flashlight. Standing there was the glowing figure of a man with a smile on his face and a large, solid, and definitely real axe in his hands. She backed away from the glowing figure until she bumped into the car. âPlaying around when my back was turned,â the ghost whispered, stroking the sharp blade of the axe with his fingers. âYouâve been very naughty.â The last thing she saw was the glint of the axe blade.
Susan and Ned were driving through a wooded empty section of highway. Lightning flashed, thunder roared, the sky went dark in the torrential downpour. âWeâd better stop,â said Susan. Ned nodded his head in agreement. He stepped on the brake, and suddenly the car started to slide on the slick pavement. They plunged off the road and slid to a halt at the bottom of an incline. Pale and shaking, Ned quickly turned to check if Susan was all right. When she nodded, Ned relaxed and looked through the rain soaked windows. âIâm going to see how bad it is,â he told Susan, and when out into the storm. She saw his blurry figure in the headlight, walking around the front of the car. A moment later, he jumped in beside her, soaking wet. âThe carâs not badly damaged, but weâre wheel-deep in mud,â he said. âIâm going to have to go for help.â Susan swallowed nervously. There would be no quick rescue here. He told her to turn off the headlights and lock the doors until he returned. Axe Murder Hollow. Although Ned hadnât said the name aloud, they both knew what he had been thinking when he told her to lock the car. This was the place where a man had once taken an axe and hacked his wife to death in a jealous rage over an alleged affair. Supposedly, the axe-wielding spirit of the husband continued to haunt this section of the road. Outside the car, Susan heard a shriek, a loud thump, and a strange gurgling noise. But she couldnât see anything in the darkness. Frightened, she shrank down into her seat. She sat in silence for a while, and then she noticed another sound. Bump. Bump. Bump. It was a soft sound, like something being blown by the wind. Suddenly, the car was illuminated by a bright light. An official sounding voice told her to get out of the car. Ned must have found a police officer. Susan unlocked the door and stepped out of the car. As her eyes adjusted to the bright light, she saw it. Hanging by his feet from the tree next to the car was the dead body of Ned. His bloody throat had been cut so deeply that he was nearly decapitated. The wind swung his corpse back and forth so that it thumped against the tree. Bump. Bump. Bump. Susan screamed and ran toward the voice and the light. As she drew close, she realized the light was not coming from a flashlight. Standing there was the glowing figure of a man with a smile on his face and a large, solid, and definitely real axe in his hands. She backed away from the glowing figure until she bumped into the car. âPlaying around when my back was turned,â the ghost whispered, stroking the sharp blade of the axe with his fingers. âYouâve been very naughty.â The last thing she saw was the glint of the axe blade in the eerie, incandescent light.
Okay basically you're typing it in Word and Word is not compatible with the system AG uses. What you need to do is copy & paste your story into notepad, retype all the apostrophes and elipses, etc, and then post it again.
Okay basically you're typing it in Word and Word is not compatible with the system AG uses. What you need to do is copy & paste your story into notepad, retype all the apostrophes and elipses, etc, and then post it again.
This ^
If you are typing in word you have to remove all apostrophes and similar markings because they aren't supported by AG. Either do as Jess suggested, or you can simply not type them, copy/paste from word, then add them in AG to eliminate the wingding characters.
Oh by the way, nice story! Usually I don't like it when stories try to increase tension by writing 'bump, bump, bump' and words to that effect, but it worked really well here. I was genuinely spooked.. :/
