Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
iam sitting home and suddenly mine neighbour comes walking too me screaming , help! help! i asked what the problem was and he said: mine mother-in-law wants too jump out from a window so i said: so whats the problem, let her jump out of the window. suddenly the neighbour said, ya thats the problem, i can't get the window open
an very tuff amircan and an tuff italian were standing against each other. the tuff amircan said, give some steel , and iron and i can make a whole aircraft carrier. the tuff italian said give me your wife and i can make a whole crew
two friends are sitting in a bar,suddenly the one said with a sigh: womans are worser than gangsters. the other friends looked suprised and asked why he said it. well, gangsters want money or your life womans want both
a old woman came into the train, and a gentlemen wanted too stand up. the old woman put her hand on his shoulder and said thankyou but theres no need too stand up. so the next stop the gentlemen wanted too stand up again but the old woman putted her hand again on his shoulder and made him sit again, but the third time the man got pissed and said: stop it with this crap, thanks too you i already missed two stops
