I got bored so I decided to tell everyone how I got my username. This is a TRUE story this ACTUALLY happened. So sit back in you're chair and start reading.
Chapter 1. John is a typical guy in New York City. He is constantly bothered by people who want to tell him about Jesus Christ. One day John heard footsteps coming to his door. The footsteps stopped and along came a squeaky voice. This voice said "Hello sir can I tell you about Jesus Chri-" John washed out this guy's voice with "SHUT UP! I already know about Jesus! So give the church invitation and leave!" The squeaky voice retorted "Fine then! Don't take part in this opportunity!" The footsteps stormed off and John looked back at the door cannons catalog. "An air cannon? This sounds useful." John reached for the phone and dialed the number.
That's all for now. I'm thinking about the rest of the chapter.
After two weeks I am back. Now let's wrap this up.
Chapter 4
John and Satan walked into the house. After they both got seated Satan started to speak. "I have a propsition for you. I want you to lead the tenth circle." John glanced at his feet then said dumbly "Wow. That sounds like alot of work. I don't think I can do that." Satan gritted his teeth and replied "Really? Let's see you come up with something better then leading my tenth circle." John sighed then picked up a Twix bar and said "How about I eat this Twix bar? Come on you can have half of it." Satan made a mesmerizing look at John and shouted "That is the STUPIDEST thing I've heard out of all the idiots I have talked to! If I wasn't in a rush to find someone to lead my tenth circle I would have you nailed to a cross and beheaded!" John cleared his throat and said weakly "Okay okay I'll do it. But only if you give me my laptop from that hobo next to my window." Satan snapped his finger and John's laptop appeared between John's legs. Satan made a portal and said "Here is the tenth circle. You can make it into anything you wish." John stepped through the portal and became known as the Master.
So that's it folks. I'll get started on my second story a week from now I guess.
Well I guess I'll get part of Chapter 1 that I already written down.
Chapter 1
Mark slumped against the wall of the Lucky-Duck hotel and casino. He watched as many gamblers and travelers walked in completely ignoring him. Then one gambler walked up to mark. He said "What are you supposed to be? A bum?" Mark straightened himself and replied "No." The gambler sighed and said "Then what are you?" "A street psychic." The way Mark said psychic stunned the gambler. He said it in a tone that said I am not a bum or the lowest form of life. I am not some patch of dirt. I am a psychic. The gambler turned and went into the casino. A woman came and gave Mark a coin and said "Please tell me how I can earn a raise." Mark closed his eyes and softly said "Money is not everything." The woman retorted "What is this? I need the money! I don't want to become a bum like you!" The woman gave Mark a hateful look then marched into the casino.
"Alright John here's you're first victim. Decide whether he should suffer or live in Heaven. He is convicted with murder and petty theft." John looked down at the man. The man begged "Please let me go into paradise. Please!" John laughed and said "Why should I?" The man dumbly replied "Because...I...will...give...you..." The man pulled out a Mars Bar. "This Mars Bar!" John looked at the bar and gleefully said "DEAL!" The man cheered and walked onto the elevator. Satan walked over to John and yelled "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! THAT MAN DESERVED TO SUFFER! BUT YOU LET HIM GO UNTO PARADISE FOR A STUPID CANDY BAR!" Satan snatched the Mars Bar from John's hand and ate it. John said "Hey! That was my Mars Bar!" Satan retorted "Well now it isn't!" John slumped down his chair and began to think.
"Alright John let's try this again. This time let the man suffer and don't accept ANY bribes. Got that?" said Satan who was bringing in a man. "Yes sir!" obediently replied John. The man was thrown onto the floor and began to speak. "Please let me go to para-" John raised his hand and said "SUFFER!" The floor opened up and the man fell into a pit of lava. "Good Job!" Satan happily said. John's stomach rumbled and he said "Is their a vending machine around?" Satan's secretary pointed to a temple. John walked up to the temple and looked inside. John was pleased to see a vending machine. He waltzed right in but was awarded with a blast of air. John got up and said "What in the god-" A voice washed out John's by saying "KNOW THYSELF!" John thought and said "I know myself pretty well so can I go in?" The voice again shouted "KNOW THYSELF BEFORE EATING THE EATERIES OF THIS TEMPLE!" John turned around and began to leave. The voice shouted to him "WAIT! YOU CAN ENTER IF YOU BUY ME A HYDROFOIL!" John asked dumbly "What the heck is a hydrofoil?" An eye popped out of the temple and pointed to a suitcase. John sighed and walked to the "hydrofoil".
Mark got up and walked to the payphone. He dialed in his friend Bob's number and the phone began to beep. Bob picked up and said "Mark? Come over quick! I have built a portal to another dimension!" Mark snickered and said "Suuuuuuure you have. And I grew wings and now I can grow money from a tree." Bob gasped and replied "For Real? That's amazing! Bring you're money tree over also!" Bob hung up. Mark began to walk when the women he talked to earlier marched up to him and smacked him with her purse. Mark said "Why did you do that lady? Are you mental?" The lady smacked Mark again. Mark then ran away but as he turned his head backwards and hit a stop sign. Mark got up and began walking...again.
Yeah but the actual animation was boring to me. Reading Einstein's theory of gravity is more entertaining.
Continued from Chapter 5
John walked to the suitcase and picked it up. "Hey what are you doing?!?" angrily asked the demon holding the suitcase. "I need the hydrofoil to give to the eye so I can get a snack!" The demon said "Oh. Then I'll give you my suitcase if you can bring me a hat." John walked over to a lady wearing a hat. John kept poking her but she didn't turn to him. John then yelled "HEY LADY! GIVE ME YOU'RE HAT!!" The lady gasped and said "Sick em Bobby!" The dog attacked John until he was worn out. "I need you're hat for a snack." John managed to say. "Oh. Then get some water for Bobby." John then went to a spring to get some water. A giant yelled to John "HALT! NONE SHALL TAKE THE WATER!" John began to get some water. "NONE SHALL TAKE IT!" John still reached for the water. "WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT NONE SHALL TAKE IT!" John shrugged and reached for the water.
"STOOOOOOP! I AM TIRED OF YOU'RE IGNORANCE! LEAVE ME BE!" screamed the gisnt. John gasped and bolted off. John sighed and mumbled "Man. I suck. I'm hungry and everyone hates me. I should just go back to the surface and beg for money." John sneaked in the elevator and went to the surface. Once he got there he got a piece of cardboard and a Sharpie and wrote "Family attacked by ninjas. Need $$$ for karate lessons." John pleased with his work flipped the cardboard over and wrote "Spent all my $$$ on cardboard and marker." John then turned around and said "I think I can do this homeless person business.
As John looked for a good place to sit he saw another homeless man come toward him. The homeless man yelled "HEY! You look new to this hobo business. So you must sign the hobo code of hono." John scrunched his face and replied "What the heck are you talking about?" The man pulled a piece if paper out and showed it to John. John signed it with his Sharpie. The man left. John followed the man until he sat down. John caught a quick glance at his piece of cardboard. It said "I know where Bin Laden is hidden. Need $$$ for flamethrower and airplane ticket." John said "Nice sign." john then looked around and saw another piece of cardboard. It said "At least we ain't mugging you." John then saw a woman throw a dime at John. John smiled. "I made the right decision. I can't wait to meet the other homeless people!"
Funny Story, very creative, and though it seems quickly-done, it's entertaining nonetheless. But IS this
I got bored so I decided to tell everyone how I got my username. This is a TRUE story this ACTUALLY happened. So sit back in you're chair and start reading.
"Alright! One of you is going to tell me who left the elevator open and made John leave hell? Come on! Admit it!" a demonic voice said. Just then a man with a white beard and white hair appeared right before them. Satan grunted and hossed "Let me guess God. You're going out to New York. You want me to put on my stuuuuuupid leather jacket, blond hair, and goatee so I can come with you." God put on his sunglasses and said "Yep. That's about right. I'm thinking of destroying the earth. But I just want one person to show me it's worth saving. And since you won the last game of Roulette you get to pick who gets to show me the good side of the world." Satan grinned and pulled God into the elevator. When they got up to the surface they both saw a billboard. It said "MEGA MALL COMING SOON!" God scowled "Man I hate those things. They ruin the sprit of the neighborhood." Satan laughed and replied "I really love those things. I just got a manicure from one last week you know." God started walking to a man in tattered clothing. God smiled and said "Hello John. I'm God. And this is the evil one." Satan then pooped out of the sky and fell on the sidewalk. John laughed and replied "God? Yeah. You're probably some bum like me who has to pretend in order to get money." God snapped his fingers and began to grow gigantic and angels began floating around him. John gasped. "I believe! I believe!" God smiled. "John. I'm thinking of destroying the world. But Satan picked you to show me that there is some good in the world. How about we watch TV before I explain more?"
