ForumsArt, Music, and WritingShort Story Contest - Theme: Discovery/Exploration (Page 16)

158 40608
silvermoon123
offline
silvermoon123
855 posts
Nomad

The rules are simple; write a short story based off of the current theme. The story should be posted in one post, keeping with the shortness, or else the judges will be confused. Also, if you would like to make multiple entries, please note which you would like to have judged. Give all stories a title.

Winners of each round will choose a theme for the next.

If you would like to become a judge, pipe up now.

The current theme is: Ninjas!

  • 158 Replies
jacksonghuntington
offline
jacksonghuntington
347 posts
Nomad

It would help me though. i wanted to do my story to be in the eyes of kickamota, but i thought it would be hard. i think its a good idea.

Oblivior
offline
Oblivior
786 posts
Nomad

A Mission

I woke up in the middle of my forest, I slowly stood up and my head started to throb, I clasped my hands on my head to try and make the pain stop, but it left as quickly as it came. I looked around and saw trees, they seemed very healthy and the grass was green and lush, I could hear the crickets chirping and the birds tweeting, I wanted to appreciate the scene a bit longer, but I felt something in my right hand. I opened my hand and saw a small note that said, "Mountain. North. Mission. Assassinate. Leader. Rival." I scratched my head and suddenly, the note blew up into a small pillar of smoke. I got my bearings and looked north, and there it was, a mountain, but I wasn't sure how I was going to assassinate anyone without a weapon. But then I realized I hadn't checked the rest of my body yet. I turned my head as far back as I could and saw the hilt of a katana. I grasped the hilt and pulled it out of it's sheathe, it was made of steel and it was made for killing. I sheathed the blade again, but this time I moved it to my left hip so I could easily draw it in-case I got into an ambush. I continued walking through the forest until I reached the foot of the mountain, there was nowhere to climb, and there were very few footholds, but a sudden rush came from out of nowhere and into my head, memories. I remember... I remembered I was a ninja, and I had been in many situations like this before. I leaped from ledge to ledge and was surprised at how fluent my movements are and how accurately my body responds to them. I continued leaping until I saw something, it was a palace, but it looked Japanese or Chinese or something. I walked up to the doors of the palace and they were made of solid gold and reinforced with titanium, I wasn't getting in there anytime soon, but I saw that the door was open... I thought to myself, this might be a trick, but what harm would be done? I went inside and grasped the hilt of my sword in-case anything thought of attacking me, then, I felt a change in the wind, I sidestepped and an arrow flew by me head. I gasped as I heard more bows being drawn, I quickly darted to the side as dozens of arrows flew by my head. I crouched down near a pillar. The palace was dark and the lights were not lit, so hopefully they wouldn't find me, but I wouldn't be able to find them as well. I waited for a while and felt the tension die down, and I proceeded further. I walked aimlessly through the palace until I saw it, a huge, grand, metal door guarded by 4 ninjas. This was probably where my target was, but could I really take out four of them? I rummaged through my pockets and pulled out a ninja star, I threw it at one of them and he died on the spot as the star dug deeper into his skull. The others were surprised and drew their katanas, I figured I wouldn't get any more ranged kills, so I drew my katana as well and began to move closer to them. Once I was close enough, I charged the side with only one of them left and lopped off the head of the ninja standing guard, the others quickly took notice off me and charged me. I front-flipped over their heads and sliced them across the backs and severed their spinal cords. I rummaged through their bodies and pulled out a single, silver key. I shakily put it into the keyhole, I was getting nervous, but I decided it was not the time to be a coward and unlocked the door. I peeked inside and saw a large, buff, figure sitting on a leather, reclining chair at the end of the room with his feet placed on a wooden desk littered with papers and discarded pens. I moved forward with my katana, I was sure he was sleeping, and as soon as I was close enough, I stabbed my katana through his gut. He was dead, but suddenly, the man's eyes opened up and he grasped the sword. I wasn't sure what he was doing, but what he did thoroughly surprised me. He drew the blade out of his stomach and threw it at the far side of the wall! Blood began to spurt out of the hole in the man's gut, but he had other things in mind, like tearing me apart limb from limb. I made a mad dash for my katana, I had never felt this scared before in my life, it was like I was face to face with death. Suddenly, I felt something grab my right leg and I tripped and landed on my face. I looked over my shoulder and it was the man, he lifted me into the air and tossed me from side to side like a rag doll. I was pretty sure a few of my bones broke, but a mission is a mission, and I have to finish this one. I dug my left hand into my pockets and took out a kunai, as soon as he lifted me over his head, I threw it at his right eye which made him drop me. He put his left hand over his eye and took out the kunai, it really dug in deep since there was a hole where his eye should be. Taking advantage of his surprise, I rushed for my weapon. As soon as I got there, I began drawing the sword out of the wall, but it was stuck good! I looked over my shoulder once more and saw the man slowly walking towards me in a calm fashion, he knew I was having a hard time removing my sword from the wall, so he saw no reason to rush. As he loomed ever closer, I made a final effort, and finally, I drew my sword out of the wall. The man was surprised at this feat of strength and clapped, I felt annoyed, angry even. I bull rushed the man and slashed my sword, to and fro, I kept cutting and slashing him like he was swiss cheese, but he was tough. I kept attacking and made him back off towards the other end of the room, but he clenched his right hand and threw a mean punch at my face, it was quite painful, but I continued the assault. Slash after slash, he endured, but punch after punch I endured as well. I had him back to the wall and saw that he was sweating, but I was sweating even more furiously, my face was beaten to a bloody pulp and blood was spurting out of my nose. I couldn't take this much longer, so I decided to end this. I raised my sword above my head and plunged it towards his heart, he made an effort to stop my attack, but it was too late. I drew my sword out of his chest and with it was his heart, I turned my back and began walking towards the door, the mission was over, and this was my proof of victory.

Yeah, I don't know if it's short or long, but whatever.

MusicMan102
offline
MusicMan102
314 posts
Nomad

Haha, lame sentence

Other than that, I don't think some one should tell you what point of view, it would be too strict.


I know it was. Just wandering because I want to see some second person stuff in here.

I'll judge yours later Oblivior.
DeadlyVelociraptor
offline
DeadlyVelociraptor
3,415 posts
Nomad

I'll judge everything later,

I'M JUST THAT LAZY.

Because I am so lazy that I don't have the energy to look at a short story and analyze it.

Wait, that actually makes sense...

I am confusing myself, am I confusing you guys?

Anyway, I think judging is going pretty well; MusicMan and I continuously tell people how much their stories are horrible and calmly turn our attention back to our own stories, knowing we shall review each-other's as if the pieces were a pile of pigeon poop.

silvermoon123
offline
silvermoon123
855 posts
Nomad

You're going to be a great operator, DV. The boss of all the pigeon poop!

DeadlyVelociraptor
offline
DeadlyVelociraptor
3,415 posts
Nomad

Exactly, I am planning to clean up the pigeon poop and replace it with better pigeon poop.

MusicMan102
offline
MusicMan102
314 posts
Nomad

MusicMan and I continuously tell people how much their stories are horrible and calmly turn our attention back to our own stories


Both our stories have been submitted and judged so I don't think we can pay that much attention to them. I also don't see it as telling them how bad they are, I see it as informing them on how to do better.

I am confusing myself, am I confusing you guys?


Nope, that's just you.
AngelicMoon
offline
AngelicMoon
29 posts
Nomad

Story Contests?
This seems to be rather interesting, I've actually won a few of these in school, but the people in my class are stupid anyways.
So, that was pretty easy.
However, ninjas don't seem to be my type of thing, I'll wait for a theme that interests me, hopefully that will be the next one.

DeadlyVelociraptor
offline
DeadlyVelociraptor
3,415 posts
Nomad

Both our stories have been submitted and judged so I don't think we can pay that much attention to them. I also don't see it as telling them how bad they are, I see it as informing them on how to do better.


'f course.

@AngelicMoon, march 10th is the time I'm gonna wrap this theme up and let the winner (Most probably MusicMan or someone else that's gonna come up) choose the next theme- and POV.
DeadlyVelociraptor
offline
DeadlyVelociraptor
3,415 posts
Nomad

howlett's "Ninjas"

Setting:
I liked the mountain things, I guess, but there wasn't many detail about it- other than having tons of ninjas, of course.

3/10

Plot:

"Terrifyingly bad plot that makes no freaking sense," Said Simon Cowell-DV alter ego.

0/10

Characterization:

Only one of the characters had a name and he got stabbed and killed... In the beginning...

0/10

Grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. :

"Saw some run-ons and bad wording. The spelling at least wasn't that bad."

Aye.

6/10

Showing, not telling:

Only showing! No story!

0/10

Concept:

Yeah.... Horrible concept, nothing special but an apparently 'smooth mountain full of ninjas'

1/10

Overview:

"This is more of something I'd make into a five panel comic. Make a more well developed idea that makes sense and engages the reader."

Couldn't agree more. I actually thought it could be good but the second the man character got killed I realized it was rubbish.

1/10

In an average, with both mine and MusicMan's judging, you got *Drum roll*

0.4


Or something like that.

Oblivior's (I believe?) is next.

MusicMan102
offline
MusicMan102
314 posts
Nomad

Couldn't agree more. I actually thought it could be good but the second the man character got killed I realized it was rubbish.


Ahhh! But the main character didn't get killed! He was cut then he took the whole story to wrap it up. He's in the last couple of sentences about how he's late to the action.

And yes, Oblivior's "A Mission" is next on our judging list.
TRUdog
offline
TRUdog
1,031 posts
Nomad

o.m.g March 8th already? I better get cracking. Sorry I haven't posted yet

TRUdog
offline
TRUdog
1,031 posts
Nomad

Sorry to double post... but could I make a suggestion?
I'm a bit unclear to how long our story has to be. I think it would be good if there is a word count, to make it clear to how long it should be.

pablo4270
offline
pablo4270
1,930 posts
Peasant

So one day in school I had to right a paragraph and then replace the nouns with pronouns. This was the story I wrote before I replaced the nouns. I then went on to write several other short stories about my unicorn adventures that I will probably put out soon. IT IS COMPLETELY TRUE!



The Original Tale Of Mr. Sparkledust


One day I met a unicorn. His name was Mr. Sparkledust. Mr. Sparkledust was my best new-found friend. Mr. Sparkledust ate rainbows. One day he invited me to eat a massive rainbow. The rainbow was scrumdillyumtious. When we got home I learned that eating a raw rainbow gave humans raw-rainbow parasites. The only was to get rid of the parasites was to eat a unicorn's horn. I then had to kill Mr. Sparkledust and eat his horn. I then turned into a unicorn myself. I lived happily ever after living as a unicorn ninja.


(Insert picture of a unicorn ninja like in original)

ThorRatFox
offline
ThorRatFox
3,798 posts
Nomad

Ninja Maelstrom
By TRF
I will start off this tale it was a calm and cool afternoon in the city of Kyoto, Japan when they struck. I was fourteen when it happened I had just finished doing my daily meditation. When I heard the sound of a horn it was coming from the east. Then, later about two hours later I saw these three big burly men ride up on their fine horses. Each of them had two swords and a huge bow on their back. They said âHail citizens of Kyoto we are here to worn and protect you from the up coming attackâ. âI am Ryu-Sozen I have been ordered by the shogun to protect this fine city from ninjaâsâ, as the burly man in nice shiny armor gets off his horse. âI am Sanada Yukimura the best shot east of hereâ as he says this he does a flip of his horse and lands on the ground. The final one says âI am Orkoff Shinjo master musician and Iaijustu expertâ, as I see him get off and his mighty horn. They would sit at my home for the next fortnight telling tales of horrible acts done by ninja and ronin. One day they decide that they should go and leave since the ninja havenât shown yet. That day as Orkoff was exiting he heard a noise and out of nowhere three ninja show up and each throw some shuriken at him. Yukimura and Ryu-Sozen come charging forth after hearing the shriek of some one dying. When they get there they find their friend on the floor bleeding Copious amounts. They look around and see thousands of ninjas as I coming running out I see them fighting furiously but then I see one of the ninja sneak behind Yukimura and chop his head off. The last one standing was Ryu I donât understand how he did it but he kept getting stabbed and slashed but he wouldnât go down but as soon as there was one he fell to the ground dead so I pick up a sword and go after him. By my luck he hadnât seen me coming so I got the jump on him and lung at him hitting him in the abdomen about where the aorta of the heart is. I will always remember the three warriors who came to save Kyoto
First short story hope you guys enjoy

Showing 121-135 of 158