Forums → Art, Music, and Writing → [req] Impromptu story (Set One)

oh my.... that was very good, perhaps it would have been better to leave it un-finished to allow the reader's mind to wonder, to ponder, to dream, to imagine, to presume, to hope, to conclude, but only guess how it would have truly ended. Sometimes, although most may not like it, ALL are engaged with an "open-ended-ending"..... my mind went on a feild trip at the end of the story, although reading things ive read...... and still thinking in the real world... my mind instatnly came to 1 conclusion....... anyway the point is sometimes its BEST NOT to finish a story, but let the READER finish it for YOU.

great job mura, i look forward to the next.

As always, Endscape, you never let me down. Thank you so much for your support and constructive, albeit confusing feedback.
I'm really pleased with my results.

idea, how about a re make of one of my favorite poets work... its been years since ive read this particular story and my memory is.... short, i think its called mad man, im not sure but it was by Edgar Allen Po.
i love his stories, if u know wat im talking about plz write a re make on that one, if not ill explain the story a lil better.

Hey, Endscape, Edgar Allen Po? Never read him, sorry. Perhaps you could explain the entire story to me first, then, tell me what exactly you want me to do to remake it. Thank you.

Idea: A heroine/hero who in the end does not actually succeed.
A fallen heroine/hero?

Hey, Endscape, Edgar Allen Po? Never read him, sorry. Perhaps you could explain the entire story to me first, then, tell me what exactly you want me to do to remake it. Thank you.

THATS IT, lol thank u so much, the story where a man whom claims he isnt mad kills the man who took him in, not because of hatred but because he felt the man's "vulture" eye was evil.

Right, guys. I'll get on it as soon as possible. But I already have a prior commitment to Deathopper. I have to write his story first. I'm actually really behind as of now. I'll get to your stories as sooooon as possible.

Here's Deathopper's story.

Note: The Roman/Greeks gods correspond wonderfully, but it's really hard to match the Egyptian gods to the Roman/Greek gods.

One day, in heaven, a terrible scene was playing out. The Roman gods and the Olympians (Greek gods) had a forced alliance together against the Egyptian gods. Strangely, the Egyptian gods had invaded Mount Olympus where the Olympians live and the Roman gods were taking refuge.
Cupid, the Roman god of Love fell in love with the Greek goddess of the Moon, Demeter. Unfortunately, Min, the Egyptian god of Love had also fallen in love with Demeter. Eros, the Greek god of Love had fallen in love with Isis, the Greek goddess of the Moon.
Things were really mixed up. The other Roman gods and goddesses were angry with Cupid. The other Greek gods and goddesses were angry with Eros. The other Egyptian gods and goddesses were angry with Min.
But no one was angrier than Ceres, the Roman goddess of the Moon. No one had fallen in love with her! And she intended to get revenge.
First, she went to Pluto, the Roman god of the Underworld. She explained to him that Cupid was in love with Demeter, the Greek goddess of the Moon. She then asked Pluto to punish Cupid. Pluto refused to do so unless Ceres could prove that Cupid was in love with Isis.
Angered, Ceres went to Hades, the Greek god of the Underworld. She explained to him that Eros was in love with Isis, the Egyptian goddess of the Moon. She then asked Hades to punish Eros. Hades refused to do so unless Ceres could prove that Eros was in love with her.
Confused, Ceres went to Osiris, the Greek god of the Underworld. She explained to him that Min was in love with Demeter, the Greek goddess of the Moon. She asked Osiris to punish Min. Osiris was enraged.
" Is that so?"
" Yes, it is so. Do punish him for falling in love with a Greek goddess," Ceres pleaded.
" I will do that!" shouted Osiris wrathfully.
Seeing how eager he was, Ceres quickly explained that Cupid was in love with Isis, the Egyptian goddess of the Moon.
Even further angered, Osiris vowed to punish Cupid as well. Then, Ceres told Osiris that Eros was in love with her.
" What's wrong with that?" Osiris asked, puzzled.
" Cupid should love me, not Eros!" Ceres replied heatedly. "Punish him also!"
" Then, I shall!"
Ceres left Osiris in his Underworld. She was immensely satisfied. She returned to Mount Olympus. As soon as she returned, Cupid met her, with a terrible yearning in his eyes.
" Ceres, come with me! Come with me and let us be together forever!"
Ceres realized what he wanted. She also realized she couldn't resist him. He drew her near and kissed her passionately. She realized what had happened.
The next day, Ceres saw Min leave Mount Olympus with Isis close to him. They seemed eerily inseparable. And then, Ceres noticed with great annoyance that Eros avoided her at all costs.
Suddenly, Ceres realized that Osiris had actually punished her. Now, she had to live with Cupid, no matter what. She had to bear seeing Min and Isis unbearably inseparable. And she had to bear that Eros would never speak to her again.
Ceres wished to keep Cupid. But, she didn't want to see Min and Isis so eerily inseparable. She also didn't want Eros to avoid her for all eternity. This said, she went back to Osiris and asked him to modify his punishments on Eros and Min.
Osiris was angered that she wished him to lighten Min's punishment for falling in love with a Greek goddess, a terrible thing. Ceres tried to explain but to no avail. Osiris refused to lighten Eros' punishment as well, as Eros had fallen in love with an Egyptian goddess, also a terrible thing. Ceres was surprised. Osiris threatened to curse her and she fled.
As soon as she reached Mount Olympus, the Roman gods and the Olympians came out. Zeus asked her where she'd been. Ceres pointed to the crack of the Egyptian Underworld where Osiris was ascending.
" He's come to punish me! Help!" Ceres cried.
Osiris rose up and was met by Pluto and Hades who suspected he'd had something to do with Cupid and Eros' odd behavior. Zeus and Jupiter turned to Ra who stood nearby trying to look unconcerned.
" Osiris tricked me! I told him to punish Cupid, Eros, and Min! Instead, he punishes me!" Ceres said.
Hearing that, the Roman and Greek gods of war stepped forward. And... the Roman gods and the Olympians began to fight the Egyptian gods. Osiris had committed a terrible deed indeed, heeding the words of a Roman goddess and then tricking her in her ignorance.
A terrible war followed. A clash of the gods! For all we know, they're still fighting even today. Or maybe, they've already exhausted themselves and that's why we hear no more of them. Either way, what started the War? Ceres, bent on revenge? Or Osiris, bent on mischief?

O_O ooooo, theres a couple errors in there mura, i like u took a none violent appraoch on a battle in the begining but there r some mix ups in there..... making the roman gods seperate from greek ones is acceptable, but u have the gods mixed up themselves i.e. wat that said god is the God of...
i believe Demeter is the goddess of the harvest
Hades is the greek god of the underworld
Osiris i believe is husband to Isis, brother to Seth-Egyptian god of the underworld
Greek goddess of love is Aphorodite

wat else im not too sure of.... but becareful mura,
good job either way..

even i made a couple mistakes -_-.....confusing....
Anubis god of death
Osiris indeeeeeed god of the underworld
Isis goddes of magic and life
Cupid is the son of the goddess of love Venus, cupid is associated with being a bringer of love and wat not...

Yes, Demeter is the goddess of the harvest. I meant to say Artemis. I don't know what happened. I got a list of the gods on a piece of paper. I got them mixed up.
I did make Hades the Greek god of the Underworld. I think what got you confused is that I accidentally made Osiris ALSO the Greek god of the Underworld, I should have made it the Egyptian god of the Underworld.
And about the Greek god of love, it IS Eros. Aphrodite is the Greek GODDESS of love. I didn't get them mixed.
Believe me, Endscape, I really took a lot of time to research this! Yes, I made a mistake, mixing up the respective gods of the Underworld, but otherwise, I got Eros, the Greek god of love right! But, it's not like I don't know my facts. *sniff*

That over with, I'll repost the story. With a few corrections.

Here.

Note: The Roman/Greeks gods correspond wonderfully, but it's really hard to match the Egyptian gods to the Roman/Greek gods.

One day, in heaven, a terrible scene was playing out. The Roman gods and the Olympians (Greek gods) had a forced alliance together against the Egyptian gods. Strangely, the Egyptian gods had invaded Mount Olympus where the Olympians live and the Roman gods were taking refuge.
Cupid, the Roman god of Love fell in love with the Greek goddess of the Moon, Artemis. Unfortunately, Min, the Egyptian god of Love had also fallen in love with Artemis. Eros, the Greek god of Love had fallen in love with Hathor, the Egyptian goddess of the Moon.
Things were really mixed up. The other Roman gods and goddesses were angry with Cupid. The other Greek gods and goddesses were angry with Eros. The other Egyptian gods and goddesses were angry with Min.
But no one was angrier than Diana, the Roman goddess of the Moon. No one had fallen in love with her! And she intended to get revenge.
First, she went to Pluto, the Roman god of the Underworld. She explained to him that Cupid was in love with Demeter, the Greek goddess of the Moon. She then asked Pluto to punish Cupid. Pluto refused to do so unless Diana could prove that Cupid was in love with Hathor.
Angered, Diana went to Hades, the Greek god of the Underworld. She explained to him that Eros was in love with Hathor, the Egyptian goddess of the Moon. She then asked Hades to punish Eros. Hades refused to do so unless Diana could prove that Eros was in love with her.
Confused, Diana went to Osiris, the Egyptian god of the Underworld. She explained to him that Min was in love with Artemis, the Greek goddess of the Moon. She asked Osiris to punish Min. Osiris was enraged.
" Is that so?"
" Yes, it is so. Do punish him for falling in love with a Greek goddess," Diana pleaded.
" I will do that!" shouted Osiris wrathfully.
Seeing how eager he was, Diana quickly explained that Cupid was in love with Hathor, the Egyptian goddess of the Moon.
Even further angered, Osiris vowed to punish Cupid as well. Then, Diana told Osiris that Eros was in love with her.
" What's wrong with that?" Osiris asked, puzzled.
" Cupid should love me, not Eros!" Diana replied heatedly. " Punish him also!"
" Then, I shall!"
Diana left Osiris in his Underworld. She was immensely satisfied. She returned to Mount Olympus. As soon as she returned, Cupid met her, with a terrible yearning in his eyes.
" Diana, come with me! Come with me and let us be together forever!"
Diana realized what he wanted. She also realized she couldn't resist him. He drew her near and kissed her passionately. She realized what had happened.
The next day, Diana saw Min leave Mount Olympus with Hathor close to him. They seemed eerily inseparable. And then, Diana noticed with great annoyance that Eros avoided her at all costs.
Suddenly, Diana realized that Osiris had actually punished her. Now, she had to live with Cupid, no matter what. She had to bear seeing Min and Hathor unbearably inseparable. And she had to bear that Eros would never speak to her again.
Diana wished to keep Cupid. But, she didn't want to see Min and Hathor so eerily inseparable. She also didn't want Eros to avoid her for all eternity. This said, she went back to Osiris and asked him to modify his punishments on Eros and Min.
Osiris was angered that she wished him to lighten Min's punishment for falling in love with a Greek goddess, a terrible thing. Dianatried to explain but to no avail. Osiris refused to lighten Eros' punishment as well, as Eros had fallen in love with an Egyptian goddess, also a terrible thing. Diana was surprised. Osiris threatened to curse her and she fled.
As soon as she reached Mount Olympus, the Roman gods and the Olympians came out. Zeus asked her where she'd been. Diana pointed to the crack of the Egptian Underworld where Osiris was ascending.
" He's come to punish me! Help!" Diana cried.
Osiris rose up and was met by Pluto and Hades who suspected he'd had something to do with Cupid and Eros' odd behavior. Zeus and Jupiter turned to Ra who stood nearby trying to look unconcerned.
" Osiris tricked me! I told him to punish Cupid, Eros, and Min! Instead, he punishes me!" Diana said.
Hearing that, the Roman and Greek gods of war stepped forward. And... the Roman gods and the Olympians began to fight the Egyptian gods. Osiris had committed a terrible deed indeed, heeding the words of a Roman goddess and then tricking her in her ignorance.
A terrible war followed. A clash of the gods! For all we know, they're still fighting even today. Or maybe, they've already exhausted themselves and that's why we hear no more of them. Either way, what started the War? Diana, bent on revenge? Or Osiris, bent on mischief?

O_O
O_o
-_- excuse me, madam mura, i did say even i wasnt completely sure, apologies, apologies.

Great story. Really great story. It's simply wonderful, I enjoyed every bit of it. Keep writing!