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GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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Here is a thread where I will be posting my poetry. Some of the poems that I will be posting here is stuff that I've compiled in the past, I will also be posting new poems when time abounds. My poetry will consist of Haikus, Tankas, and Nonets.

Feel free to critique my writing, as that would be greatly appreciated. However, simply saying that you like it or dislike it is not good enough. I'd like for you to post reasons as to why you like or dislike my poetry.

Not all my poems will have titles.

I'll start it off with a Nonet.

Joy and Sorrow
Your liveliness brings me enjoyment
Time with you is gratifying
When I'm with you, I'm happy.
Your smile makes me cheerful
I am lighthearted.
Without you here
I'm depressed.
I lose
Strength.

  • 48 Replies
GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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You made your haikus extended!

No I didn't - those are three individual haikus.
IcyIndia
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IcyIndia
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You made your haikus extended!


Parfaam, that's not what Matrix was meaning to do. Matrix was just posting three of his haikus. He wasn't 'extending' them at all. It was meant as three different poems, not one.
Paarfam
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Paarfam
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Even if they weren't created to fit together, they definitely correlate.

>.> Read it. They correlate.
IcyIndia
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IcyIndia
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They correlate

Although they are similar poems, they are not compiled to create one poem. Therefore, it is not an 'extended' haiku, but three haikus in one post.

GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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Thank you for your feedback, Icy. I appreciate it.

Also, some haikus should be read as if it was one sentence. This can help with the flow and make it easier to read.

I've been told this at the other place where I've started the same thread.

I'll be posting a Tanka or Haiku in a little bit.
GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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Zombies
Their vital signs ceased
We believed that they were dead.
The solders from war
Revived by a force unknown.
Time to seek retribution.

JohnGarell
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JohnGarell
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Peasant

I've never found the meaning with poems.
I may not should reply here but I think that your color-picture were awesome.

I can't make art. Give me a pen and paper and I will probably make some kind of calculation.
I work so.

IcyIndia
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IcyIndia
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I've been told this at the other place where I've started the same thread.


I know. And you don't need to do it with every haiku/tanka/whatever. Your poems are great the way they are. But try it like I and the other person said. Because flow = cool.
GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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And you don't need to do it with every haiku/tanka/whatever.

I kind of do, since I get more feedback at the other place I post them. But when I post them here, all I get is views. This thread has over 300 views and only two-three people have given me any feedback.
Your poems are great the way they are.

They're not, I don't expect them to be good because they are older poems. I just want to post them on this thread and the other one to get feedback on where I can improve. Then when I get that feedback and I run out of these older poems then I can create newer, better ones.

I'll be posting a haiku or a few later on or tomorrow morning.
GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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I didn't know that changing the title of an album on PhotoBucket would delete the picture.

Colors
http://i1138.photobucket.com/albums/n537/MatrixJJC/Art/Colors.png

Mediums
Mechanical waves
Need media to travel
Solid, liquid, gas.

Well, today is Friday. I'll post more later.

JohnGarell
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JohnGarell
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Peasant

Isn't your last picture pretty similar to the picture you submitted on the first post? Anyway; pretty cool.

GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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Isn't your last picture pretty similar to the picture you submitted on the first post?

I changed the album's name on PhotoBucket then the picture on the first page got deleted, so I posted it again.
GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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Looks like PhotoBucket doesn't want to keep that picture. I didn't mess with it and it still got deleted from my album. Well, I created two new pictures.

Abstract Colors
http://i1138.photobucket.com/albums/n537/MatrixJJC/Art/AbstractColors1.png

http://i1138.photobucket.com/albums/n537/MatrixJJC/Art/AbstractColors2.png

I'm trying to think of a title for a haiku that I have, I'll submit it later when I get a title for it.

GhostOfMatrix
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GhostOfMatrix
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Did those two pictures load for anyone? I copied the [IMG] code, then took those tags out and put the lowercase ones in. It's worked every time I've done it with other PhotoBucket pictures, but I can't see the pictures.

deathopper
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deathopper
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They loaded for me. And it's really good. They look like ribons being thrown in the air.

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