OK so this is joke competition 3.Weenie1234 won the first one and our reigning champion from last competition is Tennisman24. rules *drumroll* -no flaming -no spamming -no rickrolls
what we need are about 16(we may cut it down to 12 if enough people don't join) joke tellers. we already have the 3 judges,Me,Globdog,and Matt(we might need one ,more later because Matt is kinda on and off)
thats the basic rift of it now we just need Zophia to lock the last one and get some people and we'll be ready to go.
This is kinda funny science joke. two atoms go to a bar one of the gets beer the other gets a cup of wine one of them goes i think i forgot a charge the other goes are u sure? the first one goes Im Positive see kinda funny
ok... i guess we will begin round 2 post your absolute best joke and contact me or mono's if you have a question like is it to voilent is it to innapropiate me and monocycles were in all 3 competitions ask us if its been said before!
so there's a airplane right and all of the sudden the pilot get's on the intercom and says
everyone litsen up, we are going to have to crash land this plane(they are over open water
right after he got off there was an ominous silence suddenly a woman jumps up and screams at the top of her voice saying
O NO I CAN'T GO LIKE THIS THERE IS SO MUCH THAT I NEED TO DO IN MY LIFE BEFORE I GO... FOR ONE I WAS NEVER TREATED RIGHT ALWAYS SLEEPING AROUND NEVER FEELING LIKE A WOMAN... IS THERE ANYONE THERE THAT CAN MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN...
a minute later after the woman fizzles a little a man stands up he's tall, dark, and handsome, and everyone turns their heads to look at him all the women around him are glued to his gourgeous locks and wavy dark hair and chocolate glazed eyes
he walks slowly to the paniced woman as she starts to melt right where she stands he slowly takes off his shirt exposing his perfectly scculpted body and he gives his shirt to the woman and says
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, What is politics?
Dad says, Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now. The father says, Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about. The little boy replies, Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.
The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Adrian, did the FBI come?"
"Yep."
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
A man dies and goes to hell. The devil shows him 3 doors and says "you get to choose what you will do for iternity" he opens the 1st door and sees a man being skinned alive. he opens the 2nd door and sees a man being wrapped in barbed wire. he opens the 3rd door and sees an old man getting a BJ from a beautiful woman. "I pick door 3 mr devil" so the devil shouts into the room "okay sue you can stop now"
