I'm writing a novella sort of like "1984." It involves war-torn US struggling to feed its population. It has to do with the Malthus Theory. The year is 1973, the same year as the oil crisis. You will find out what happened to the US, and everything not very long into the book, maybe around the fifth chapter. Not very long, around 10-12 chapters. Maybe more.
Characters - Male Dynamic Protagonist (Help me figure out the name, please) - Female Static Character (Name, please)
I need names, details for the war-torn US (I know you guys play MW2, so I don't know what I should do really), and a name for the book. I'm thinking about "Deception" as the title, but is it a good idea? Also, is 10-12 chapters too short or too long?
Honestly, this does seem like a good idea, however I must put forward some advice; don't use a static female character. It's quite shallow and nothing more than a sex decoy, advertisement for the author or director.
Honestly, this does seem like a good idea, however I must put forward some advice; don't use a static female character. It's quite shallow and nothing more than a sex decoy, advertisement for the author or director.
My Literature teacher said that a static character should be placed in any sort of story, to emphasize how much the protagonist changes, though it is not necessary. I chose a female, but there is no romance between them, if that was what you asked. Besides, a male would be kind of weird. I guess I could change the gender, but would it really make a difference?
that depends, how long will the chapters be? Sounds like a good idea, but i have nothing to give you... lol
You could just give me a name. Nothing stupid like Mr. Vader.
The oil crisis has nothing to do with the story, I just chose the year because of that. It will have a twist on history.
The chapters will be 500-600 words. My styles of writing is very descriptive, and I've been told I slow the pace of the story to a crawl, so I want to make it short. Maybe 300 words. Not that much dialogue, though. It will be to the point, and no dilly-dally.
My Literature teacher said that a static character should be placed in any sort of story, to emphasize how much the protagonist changes, though it is not necessary. I chose a female, but there is no romance between them, if that was what you asked. Besides, a male would be kind of weird. I guess I could change the gender, but would it really make a difference?
No do whatever you want, that's the beauty of literature. I was simply offering a humble suggestion, ignore it if you want
It was a cold morning, a bit foggy. The kind that makes you want to stay in bed all day. That wasnât the case for John. He had to get out of his bed. He had to check to see if his carrot garden was still alive. The carrots leaves were starting to freeze. Unfortunately, John couldnât do anything. He was running low on water and he couldnât use it on these crops yet. This was his entire investment into his food source for the next month and a half. He decided to set out to the market, muttering to himself what he should trade. John decided he would trade a bag of oranges for either water or some meat. He took a slow walk across the cracked and broken sidewalk. He saw a few men with rifles along the way. One of them stared at John with a piercing glare, as if he was looking into Johnâs soul. When he arrived at the market, a man offered him two gallons of water for his bag of oranges. John decided it was actually a bargain, and traded it. On his way back, he noticed a book was lying down on the grass next to the sidewalk. John opened it and noticed it was blank. He found a diary, though he hadnât known it. Now, John was a fairly young gentleman, he didnât know exactly what his age was, though. He took the diary to his home, if you can consider a former garage a house. The garage door was replaced with a thin, light wooden sheet. It had a small, rectangular opening. John entered his house and picked up a pencil; he began writing. He wrote only a couple of incomplete sentences because his hand began to hurt. My name is John Jackson. I cant really rite correctley. I feel horrible. I am miserible.
This is 311 words, and it's barely anything. I think each paragraph will more than 600 words. Maybe even 1,000. By the way, John Jackson won't be his real name. I just put it in their since both are pretty common.
Your style of writing is very descriptive, like mine. Something I learned the hard way was that when one writes with high levels of description, it is imperative to vary the sentence structure quite a lot - I think you need to switch it up a biiit more. Switch up the length and type of sentences a bit more, and this'll be really great. Your description is nice, and if you adjust the flow a bit, this novella will be quite the joy to read.
Also, 1k words per paragraph is usually way too much, unless the topic is general and important. 1k words is equivalent to about 4 book pages, which is a lot for one paragraph.
Thanks guys. Thisisnotanalt, I don't understand what you mean. I wrote it just as a format. I didn't make it into paragraphs, yet. I do that last. I think I should have an introduction. It doesn't have a very good hook. The only thing that I think is the real hook is the man armed with a rifle. It basically just tells you that it's dangerous. I think I copied 1984 a little way too much. Should I begin the story a different way? The diary is basically a ripoff of the book.
Really? I thought it was rather lite on descriptive text. John went to market, traded, returned and found a book in, like, 300 words. :P
Well, he said it was very descriptive, so I was giving him a bit of a warning, lol.
@Kevin, what I'm saying is that your sentence structure is too uniform, and in places comes across as monotonous. You should vary the length and structure of your sentences a bit more, to make the writing a bit more vibrant and interesting. The first 6 sentences, for example, are all simple sentences of similar length - combining a few of them so you have more variation in your sentence structure will help the piece a lot.
I agree with Xzeno about the hook though. It gets you interested.
I don't really see that as a problem. The structure is fine, I may have placed a few commas instead of semicolons but I can fix it easily. I also wasn't very descriptive that time. I don't think I really wrote a very good hook. I might write it differently. I actually think that was terrible.
Xzeno has it right. Try reading it aloud, and see what happens. "The kind that makes you want to stay in all day. This wasn't the case for John" is all telling, but this doesn't engage the reader's mind very much. Usual advice: try to show, not tell. I'm saying this now because I see that this issue persists throughout the entire paragraph, so it should be dealt with as soon as possible!
Alt's crit about varying sentence structure has as much to do with that as it also has to do with tone. As Xzeno says I don't think it's descriptive so much as extremely matter-of-fact. What's the reader supposed to think? Manipulate us! Push our buttons!
My Literature teacher said that a static character should be placed in any sort of story, to emphasize how much the protagonist changes, though it is not necessary. I chose a female, but there is no romance between them, if that was what you asked.
I'd strongly advise against playing a dynamic male against a static female, because response to your story would be completely drowned in a tsunami of raging feminist critique. This is not a statement against raging feminist critique, only a warning that it is likely to happen, and if you're already trying to create a character to fit a narrative mould it will probably come off as being contrived anyway. Let your story grow and the characters will come into their own, then see where you're at.
The only thing that I think is the real hook is the man armed with a rifle. It basically just tells you that it's dangerous.
I can see what you're trying to do here. You're contrasting the alleged monotony of your main character's day with what would be incongruous to what we think a monotonous day is. But don't sap all the life out of the prose in an attempt to convey monotony!
