I'm the fire in your eyes I'm the passion in your soul I'm the burning in your mind I'm the pain that has a role I'm the star shining in the sky I'm the clouds watching from up high I'm the man who plays the part I'm the demon watching from the start I'm the lies that make up your life I'm the man that brings your strife I'm the stings that pull your arms to wrap around shadowy walls.
Alright, just created one of these for fun seeming as a lot of other people have them. Feedback wanted.
I like the first stanza a lot. The second stanza, not so much. I don't know, but the rhyming sometimes seems a bit forced to me. I really like the imagery and idea though.
[/b]The Light [i]standing all alone on that cold and dredfull night seeing a faint and far distant light looking through the Book hoping for a savior and only to see that faint light get far fainter
Starteled now I ran as I never had before and yet the light still grew fainter and then the light was gone and with it went my soul waisted into the pit of Darkness.
Music is my drug: Rock music blasting throughout my ears, Listening to it every single day, It's becoming an obsession, Can not live without it, Music is a must, Dancing to it Head banging, Wanting Music.
Yeah, I'm not that good at nonets, criticism would be nice though. Been a while since I've wrote here.
It's really good, but the syllables are sorta...messed up.... Line 9 is good, Line 8 has 10 syllables instead of 8 Line 7 has 8 instead of 7, Line 6, 5, 4, 3, and 2 are all okay. Line 1 is supposed to have only 1 syllable. XD
