ForumsArt, Music, and WritingInternal Darkness (Acmed's Poetry)

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acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

This is my thread for posting my poetry. Most of it is upsetting. Please comment and make suggestions. I will post often as I have a lot of feeling and emotion.

Not Anybody, But You

Your love is the key to my happiness,
Waiting for a kiss of an angel.
When our eyes meet, it lights the room,
All alone too painful.

If I take you to the promise land,
Our sighted future, hand in hand.
Every push to every shove.
To every kiss, to find our love.

I'll idolize you,
If you give me a clue.
Will you stomp on my heart?
Leaving me blue?

The question asks, will you be my one?
Will we ride off into the sun?
Never felt this way about a soul.
Not schoolgirl cheerleaders on girls on poles.

Give me a chance to find your heart.
Don't let your dark side
Tear us apart.

  • 38 Replies
dair5
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dair5
3,371 posts
Shepherd

WOOO! Nice. I really liked it. It's relatable, some rhymes, and such. Overall it sounds nice and I like it.

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

Thanks dair! Got some practice in Haiku land ya know.

Eyes

Your eyes is what makes me lust your spirit.
Staring too long, couldn't hear the crickets.
Stand very still, please don't flee.
I just want your light blue eyes,
To look at me.

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

Lonely Company

Imagine if you will be next to me.
Beautiful loving, head to knee.
Shower myself with hope and pride,
Try to rebirth what recently died.

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

A Speaking Smile

Let your happiness speak to me.
Don't talk with words, just let it be.
A sign for me, you are satisfied.
Make it so our love is declassified.

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

You Make me Sick

Who I thought I cared for, stabbed me in the back.
The love and warmth I'd never lack.
Never wishing for this day to come,
And never wished to go back. Me and you are done.

Moving On

A million miles apart, first steps away.
I would like to I'd miss you, but the truth is what I say.
For all the pain and sorrow thrown to troubled soul,
I must take the journey, through every road and hole.

A dying piece of life goes on,
I join my forgotten, must be brawn.
Our final moments together ticked down forever,
Maybe next time, you'd be you won't be so self-centered.

To our next time meeting not looking forward to,
You're not the one for me, and I'll be true.
Pleading and whining and crying won't change my mind.
Goodbye sweetheart.
I hope you die.

dair5
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dair5
3,371 posts
Shepherd

Your eyes is what makes me lust your spirit.
Staring too long, couldn't hear the crickets.
Stand very still, please don't flee.
I just want your light blue eyes,
To look at me.


I like this one because it gives that great description. Like it shows you the emotion behind wanting this girl in your life.

Imagine if you will be next to me.
Beautiful loving, head to knee.
Shower myself with hope and pride,
Try to rebirth what recently died.


I like how it follows up the other one. And it indirectly tells about how you want to get on to a new relationship.

A Speaking Smile
Let your happiness speak to me.
Don't talk with words, just let it be.
A sign for me, you are satisfied.
Make it so our love is declassified.


Sorry, I'm not the type who knows how to give constructive critisim when I like it a lot. But I would like to say that the endings of all your poems are very good. I feel like you build it up and then end it nicly.

You Make me Sick
Who I thought I cared for, stabbed me in the back.
The love and warmth I'd never lack.
Never wishing for this day to come,
And never wished to go back. Me and you are done.
Moving On
A million miles apart, first steps away.
I would like to I'd miss you, but the truth is what I say.
For all the pain and sorrow thrown to troubled soul,
I must take the journey, through every road and hole.
A dying piece of life goes on,
I join my forgotten, must be brawn.
Our final moments together ticked down forever,
Maybe next time, you'd be you won't be so self-centered.
To our next time meeting not looking forward to,
You're not the one for me, and I'll be true.
Pleading and whining and crying won't change my mind.
Goodbye sweetheart.
I hope you die.


You do not know how great it is when people collide their stories together to form one big mash like this. It starts off happy and loving, then it progesses to more serious stuff. Goes on to heart break and ends with a bang. i lik it!
Abigalrose
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Abigalrose
8 posts
Nomad

personaly i like reading poetry not writing it

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

Thanks for the feedback Dair!


personaly i like reading poetry not writing it


You've come to the right place of many talents of the internet.

Remember

A painful and effective memory,
Haunts me in my dreams.
The dark and scary memories,
It isn't what it seems.

The more I think, the more I remember,
The more I know, the less I feel tender.
A thought of you is streaming around,
My head is buzzing of laughs so loud.

I know I've been wrong,
You have, too.
My life is so different,
Without me and you.

The bad deeds are behind,
A future to unwind.
Take my hand, and take me back.
Let's remember the day, our hearts didn't crack.
zakyman
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zakyman
1,627 posts
Peasant

Remember shows a new depth of sadness. It could be for anything from a breakup to a murder. Good job. Honestly, this makes me think of somethings that I did in my life that I was not to proud of.

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

Remember shows a new depth of sadness. It could be for anything from a breakup to a murder. Good job. Honestly, this makes me think of somethings that I did in my life that I was not to proud of.


Remember is actually that, except with a girl... We got in a fight, and I said things that probably hurt her... I feel very sorry, and thus the poem...

Wonder Way

A path to the unknown, lay before us,
Brighter than the bright yellow sun.
The road to the future is nearly ahead,
Our lives together have just begun.

The roads that lead us there are blinding,
But let the happiness approaching us be inspiring.
I glance and see the hope in your eyes.
Your love is the love worth to die.
SoccerGirl27
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SoccerGirl27
138 posts
Nomad

oh my gosh!!!! these are amazing. i especially loved the first one. made me remember a bunch of stuff. keep writing i cant wait to read more!

Alexistigerspice
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Alexistigerspice
1,502 posts
Farmer

impressive acmed! very touching. The first one was very nice.

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

Thanks guys! (:

I Can Fly

Soaring through the bright blue sky,
Makes me believe that I can fly.
Living the dream, it makes me cry.
Now I know that I can fly.

Dannydaninja
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Dannydaninja
948 posts
Nomad

These poems are awesome! You have real talent

acmed
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acmed
3,517 posts
Nomad

These poems are awesome! You have real talent


Thanks... Oh crap, Danny's back. :O

A Friend

Through the good times and bad,
You were there when I was sad.
A carer, and a giver,
Happiness delivered.

Only a true friend would care like this,
1 person stands out the most.
I'm proud to have a great friendship.
Forever we will always be close.
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