Saying you have diarrhea. Nobody and I mean NOBODY will ever question it or ask for a note. They get so shocked by it, and know that nobody would lie about it (except you) that they'll let you being late/absent slide.
Saying you had to help a teacher with something during passing period always works. Though at my school, you need proof, such as a pass that they were supposed to write you so maybe not all the time
I got pulled over by the police on my way here, trying to make it on time. i explained I need to be in on time to work, but the officer detained me and performed a full cavity search, took me to the station and kept me there until he could take embarrassing pictures of me in a pink tutu on his lunch. After that he gave me a taco and a ride home, that's why i wasn't in to work yesterday.
it might not be as good as the diarrhea, but say you missed the bus and nobody could take you to school so you had to walk (for work say your car has just been reaped and you have no money for a taxi or bus, and thumbing didn't work). The only problem is you need to figure out the why you missed the buss.
I always go with, "So that's what the bell means!" Only works once really...haha.
Best I ever heard was, "Well, intresting story there." Kid walks up to the chalk board and starts drawing. "I came out of my house to wait for the bus, and a passing car splashed mud all over my clothes." Draws a nice detailed picture of this, and then erases it" So I ran inside to change, missed the bus." Again draws a picture, "And had to get a ride from the old guy next door, who drives insanly slow." Which got a few more pictures. It wasted about 15 minutes, but the teacher wsa cool so it allowed it.
I was at my vacation home in the bahamas, and I was about to get on my private jet, to start flying to school, but just before I got on the jet, three crab people came up to me and said, "CLAK-CLAK CLAKKITY CLAKCLAK!." which means,"stop right there! You're wanted by The Federation Crustaceans and Shellfish for the murder of an innocent lobster!" well I knew exactly what they were talking about. you see, the day before, I went out spearfishing, and I caught the biggest lobster ever. It was over 300 lbs. So anyway, I got my personal chef to cook it up for me, and I ate the whole thing in one sitting. Anyway, I had to figure out what I was going to do, now that I was caught by the crab people. I realised that I was holding a bag with my spear gun in it, and everyone knows that spears are a curstacean's greatest weakness. however, I knew killing the two crab people would just cause more crab people to come after me. which would not be good, so I admitted that I killed the lobster. Now the laws of the federation of crustaceans and shellfish are very different from our laws. The punishment for murder is that you have to fight to the death with the eldest member of that crustacean's family. Luckily for me the eldest member of this particular lobster was not nearly as big as the lobster I killed. The fight was very easy. I gust picked up a big rock, and smashed the lobster's shell in. Now that I won the fight, they let me go. so anyway, I made it home in time for school, but eating a 300 pound lobster gave me really bad diarrhea.
Absent - I threw up. (being there's a no-throwup rule within 24 hours of going to school)
Late - The weather, someone else in an accident, you were in an accident, thought it was a pep assembly or a late start today, recent death in the family, family terminally ill, you lost something of value between classes and went looking for it.
